Chapter 75: “The Fork of Fateful Feasts: A Recipe for Disaster”
After the Great Soup Incident, the crew swore off cursed artifacts forever.
Except for Fergus.
Because Fergus had zero impulse control.
And that's how, just hours after the soup flood, the crew found themselves staring at another cursed object in Fergus's hands.
"What. Is. That." Kazuya demanded, rubbing his temples like a stressed-out parent.
Fergus grinned. "It's the Fork of Fateful Feasts!"
Sylvara sighed. "We are not doing this again."
"Oh, come on!" Fergus waved the fork in the air. "It's not cursed! It's enchanted to make every meal taste like the best thing you've ever eaten."
"That sounds… suspiciously wholesome," Nerissa said, narrowing her eyes.
"Exactly!" Fergus beamed. "Finally, a magical item that's actually useful!"
"Or it's cursed," Kazuya muttered.
"It's NOT cursed!" Fergus insisted. "Look, I'll prove it."
The Fork's First Feast
The crew gathered around as Fergus speared a piece of dry bread with the fork.
The moment he took a bite, his eyes widened.
"Oh my gods."
"What?" Sylvara asked.
"This bread… tastes like a perfectly roasted turkey."
Cluckbeard snatched the fork from Fergus and stabbed a piece of stale cheese.
"Well, I'll be plucked." The pirate's eyes sparkled. "This cheese tastes like rum-soaked pork chops!"
Soon, everyone was fighting over the fork, turning their basic rations into lavish feasts.
For a brief moment, everything was perfect.
Until…
The Side Effect
Later that night, as the crew sat around the campfire, Sylvara suddenly clutched her stomach.
"Ugh… I don't feel so good."
Kazuya winced. "Yeah… me too."
Fergus groaned. "It's probably just all that soup we ate earlier."
But then… a loud growling sound echoed through the night.
"What was that?!" Nerissa asked, drawing her sword.
They turned toward the forest, where a pair of glowing red eyes stared back at them.
Out of the shadows emerged…
A GIANT LOBSTER.
"What the hell?!" Kazuya yelled, stumbling backward.
Sylvara squinted. "Wait… that lobster… smells like… beef stew?"
The lobster snapped its claws menacingly and charged at them.
"RUN!"
The Fork's True Power
After escaping the rampaging lobster, the crew regrouped, panting for breath.
"What the hell was that?!" Kazuya demanded.
Fergus sheepishly held up the fork. "Um… I might've missed a small detail about the fork."
Sylvara glared at him. "What detail?"
Fergus chuckled nervously. "It… uh… turns whatever you eat into a real creature."
The crew stared at him in disbelief.
"So… because we imagined beef stew while eating bread…" Nerissa began.
"…the fork summoned a beef-scented lobster?!" Kazuya finished.
Fergus nodded. "Yup."
Cluckbeard slapped his forehead. "Of course it's cursed!"
The Feast Fight
Before they could argue further, more creatures emerged from the forest:
A chicken that smelled like chocolate cake. A fish that reeked of apple pie. A cow that oozed gravy.
"We're under attack by dinner!" Kazuya yelled, drawing his sword.
The crew scrambled to fight off the bizarre food-monsters, dodging claws, hooves, and dripping gravy.
Sylvara fired a spell at the chocolate chicken, turning it into a gooey mess.
"I am NOT dying to a dessert bird!"
Meanwhile, Cluckbeard tackled the apple pie fish, yelling, "I've had weirder battles, but this is a first!"
Fergus, in the middle of the chaos, grinned.
"Okay… I admit it. This might've been a bad idea."
The Final Course
As the crew battled the food-monsters, the fork began to glow.
"Uh… guys?" Fergus said nervously.
The fork floated into the air, crackling with magic.
Suddenly, a booming voice echoed:
"WHO DARES AWAKEN THE SPIRIT OF THE FEAST?!"
Out of the glowing light stepped…
The Ghost of Gourmet Past.
A towering figure in a chef's hat, wielding a giant frying pan.
"You have disrespected the sacred art of cooking! Now, you shall pay!"
The crew stared in stunned silence.
"…We're fighting a ghost chef?" Kazuya asked.
Sylvara sighed. "Of course we are."
The Battle of the Feast
The Ghost of Gourmet Past hurled flaming pancakes at the crew.
"Take cover!" Kazuya yelled, dodging a flying flapjack.
Fergus, clutching the fork, yelled, "What do you want from us?!"
The ghost pointed dramatically. "You must cook a dish so divine, it puts my spirit to rest."
"We're doomed," Cluckbeard groaned. "I can barely make toast."
Sylvara grabbed the fork. "Not if we work together."
The Final Dish
The crew gathered their ingredients, using the fork to transform simple foods into lavish dishes:
Nerissa made a seafood stew. Cluckbeard whipped up a pirate's rum cake. Sylvara enchanted a loaf of bread into a floating baguette.
Finally, Kazuya presented their masterpiece: "The Feast of Friendship."
The Ghost of Gourmet Past sniffed the air.
"I… I have not smelled a dish like this in centuries…"
He took a bite… and began to fade away.
"You have honored the art of cooking. Farewell…"
With a final puff of flour, the ghost vanished.
The crew collapsed in exhaustion.
"I swear… no more cursed artifacts," Kazuya muttered.
Fergus chuckled. "Unless we find a cursed knife…"
"NO!" everyone shouted in unison.