Chapter 77: “Attack of Cluckzilla! Run for Your Feathery Lives!”
"CLUUUUUUUUCK!"
The giant mutant chicken roared like a kaiju from an old monster movie. Cluckzilla's beady red eyes glowed with fury as it stomped down the village street, causing terrified villagers to scatter in every direction.
"WHAT DID YOU DO, FERGUS?!" Kazuya screamed as he sprinted away from the rampaging bird.
Fergus, still holding the cursed Amulet of Awkward Awakenings, grinned sheepishly. "Look, in my defense, I didn't know it would summon a kaiju chicken!"
"Why would a magical amulet summon a giant chicken?!" Sylvara yelled, running beside them.
The wizard, still wearing his bathrobe and bunny slippers, shrugged. "It's called Cluckzilla. What did you expect?"
"YOU KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN?!"
"I may have forgotten to mention it," the wizard said nonchalantly.
The Cluckzilla Rampage
Cluckzilla stomped through the village, knocking over carts of vegetables and pecking at rooftops like it was searching for seeds.
"Oh gods, it's after the bread!" Nerissa cried.
"Why is everything in this story about bread?!" Kazuya groaned.
Cluckzilla's massive claws smashed through a bakery, sending a tidal wave of brioche and baguettes spilling into the street.
Villagers were screaming:
"Not the sourdough!"
"Save the croissants!"
The pirate crew watched from the safety of their ship, laughing hysterically. Cluckbeard wiped a tear from his eye.
"I knew I'd live to see the day Cluckzilla returned."
Brianna, his ex-wife, appeared beside him. "You're an idiot."
Cluckbeard smirked. "An idiot with style."
The Plan to Stop Cluckzilla
"Okay, okay, let's think this through!" Kazuya gasped, dodging a chunk of debris as Cluckzilla smashed another building. "How do we stop a giant chicken?"
Sylvara crossed her arms. "We need a plan."
The wizard nodded. "We have two options:
Lure it away with food. Challenge it to a duel."
"A DUEL?!" Kazuya shouted. "You want me to fight a giant chicken?!"
The wizard shrugged. "Worked for me once."
Sylvara rolled her eyes. "And what happened after that?"
"I lost."
Operation Breadcrumb
They decided to go with Option 1: Lure Cluckzilla away.
Fergus and Cluckbeard gathered every loaf of bread they could find and started creating a breadcrumb trail leading out of the village.
"This is the dumbest plan ever," Nerissa muttered as she threw baguettes into the street.
"It'll work," Cluckbeard said confidently. "Chickens love breadcrumbs."
Sylvara raised an eyebrow. "Giant mutant chickens?"
Cluckbeard shrugged. "A chicken's a chicken."
As Cluckzilla spotted the breadcrumb trail, its eyes lit up with hunger.
"CLUUUUUUCK!"
It started following the trail.
"It's working!" Fergus cheered.
"Of course it's working," Cluckbeard said smugly. "I'm a chicken expert."
The Twist
Just as they thought the plan was working perfectly, another kaiju appeared.
"What the hell is THAT?!" Kazuya screamed.
Out of the ocean rose a massive, angry duck.
"DUCKZILLA?!"
The wizard groaned. "I forgot about Duckzilla."
Cluckbeard's jaw dropped. "You forgot about Duckzilla?! That's like forgetting your own wedding day!"
Brianna smirked. "Oh, you definitely forgot that."
"We are NOT doing this right now!" Kazuya yelled.
Cluckzilla vs. Duckzilla
Cluckzilla and Duckzilla locked eyes.
"Quaaaaaack!" Duckzilla roared.
"CLUUUUUUCK!"
The two kaiju charged at each other, colliding in an epic battle of feathers and fury.
Villagers watched from a distance, cheering as the two monsters pecked, quacked, and clawed at each other.
"I can't believe this is happening," Sylvara said.
"This is the greatest day of my life," Fergus whispered, wiping away a tear.
The Aftermath
After what felt like hours, Cluckzilla and Duckzilla collapsed, exhausted.
"Are they… dead?" Kazuya asked hopefully.
The wizard shook his head. "No, just tired."
"Now what?"
Cluckbeard grinned. "We take a selfie."
The crew gathered around the two kaiju, holding up peace signs and grinning as Cluckbeard took a magical selfie.
"Best quest ever," Fergus declared.
The Moral of the Story
As they sailed away from the island, Sylvara sighed.
"I can't believe we survived that."
"What did we learn today?" Kazuya asked.
Fergus grinned. "Never trust a wizard in bunny slippers."
Cluckbeard chuckled. "And always carry breadcrumbs."
Sylvara rolled her eyes. "You're all idiots."
"But we're YOUR idiots," Kazuya said, flashing a cheeky grin.
She couldn't help but smile.
As the sun set on the horizon, the crew set their sights on their next adventure…
Whatever absurd nonsense awaited them next.