Chapter 94: “Cluckwork Orange: The Coop Heist”

"Alright, team! This is it—the heist of the century!" Fergus whispered dramatically, standing on a table in the middle of the tavern. His eyes gleamed with excitement as he pointed to a crudely drawn map of a giant chicken-shaped fortress.

Sylvara crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow.

"You want us to break into a fortress shaped like a chicken… to steal what, exactly?"

Fergus grinned.

"The legendary Golden Egg of Eternal Breakfast."

Kazuya, who had just taken a sip of his drink, did a massive spit-take.

"The WHAT?!"

"Legend has it that whoever holds the Golden Egg shall never suffer a bad breakfast again," Fergus said with utmost seriousness.

Sylvara rolled her eyes.

"We've fought kaiju, survived the Duck Dynasty, and escaped Cluckbeard's wrath… and now you want us to steal an egg?"

"It's not just an egg! It's the ultimate omelette artifact!" Fergus insisted.

"Imagine… perfectly cooked bacon every morning. Fluffy pancakes that never burn. Hash browns crisped to perfection."

Kazuya groaned.

"You're doing this for hash browns?!"

Step One: Infiltrate the Coop

The plan was simple. Disguise themselves as chickens, sneak into the fortress, and grab the Golden Egg.

In reality, it was anything but simple.

Kazuya stood in front of a mirror, glaring at his chicken costume.

"Why do I look like a giant feathery idiot?"

Sylvara, dressed as a slightly more dignified hen, smirked.

"Because you ARE a giant feathery idiot."

"Why do you get a fancy costume and I get this… abomination?" Kazuya flapped his oversized wings, knocking over a chair.

"Because I make this look good," Sylvara teased, striking a pose.

Fergus appeared, dressed as a rooster with a monocle and a top hat.

"I say, good sirs and madams, are we ready for a jolly good heist?"

Kazuya facepalmed.

"You look like a chicken version of Sherlock Holmes."

Fergus adjusted his monocle.

"Elementary, my dear Kazuya. Now, let's get clucking!"

Step Two: The Great Cluck-n-Sneak

The team approached the Chicken Fortress, blending in with a flock of actual chickens.

Kazuya whispered,

"How do we know we won't get spotted?"

Fergus nodded toward a guard chicken standing at the entrance, holding a spear.

"That's why we brought the decoy."

Kazuya looked around.

"What decoy?"

Suddenly, Fergus tossed a loaf of bread into the middle of the courtyard.

The entire flock of chickens went berserk, clucking and pecking at the bread like their lives depended on it. Even the guard chickens abandoned their posts to join the bread frenzy.

"Works every time," Fergus said smugly.

"That's your plan? Throw bread and hope for the best?" Kazuya asked incredulously.

"Never underestimate the power of carbs, my friend."

Step Three: The Golden Egg

Inside the fortress, they crept through hallways filled with absurd chicken-themed decor—paintings of regal roosters, chandeliers made of eggshells, and a throne made entirely of feathers.

Finally, they reached the vault.

Sylvara examined the lock.

"It's a combination lock. We need the right code."

Fergus pulled out a tiny notepad.

"I've got it! The code is… 1-2-3-Cluck."

Kazuya stared at him.

"Are you kidding me? That's the most ridiculous code ever."

Fergus shrugged.

"Hey, it's not my fault these chickens have terrible security practices."

To everyone's surprise, the lock clicked open.

"You've got to be clucking kidding me," Kazuya muttered.

Step Four: The Great Egg Escape

Inside the vault was the Golden Egg, sitting on a pedestal surrounded by lasers.

Sylvara sighed.

"Of course there are lasers. Why wouldn't there be?"

Fergus grinned.

"Leave it to me. I've trained for this moment."

What followed was the most ridiculous, uncoordinated attempt at laser-dodging anyone had ever seen. Fergus tried to do a graceful somersault, but ended up doing the worm across the floor. Kazuya tripped over his own chicken feet, knocking over a vase, while Sylvara gracefully leapt over the lasers with ease.

"Show-off," Kazuya grumbled.

Finally, they reached the pedestal.

"We've got it! The Golden Egg of Eternal Breakfast!" Fergus held it up triumphantly.

Suddenly, alarms blared.

"Uh-oh. Time to run!" Kazuya yelled.

Step Five: The Escape

As they sprinted through the fortress, chickens poured out of every room, clucking furiously.

"They're onto us!" Fergus shouted.

Kazuya spotted a cart full of eggs.

"Quick! Get in!"

They jumped into the cart, and Kazuya pushed it down a steep hill, sending them careening toward the exit.

"This is insane!" Sylvara screamed.

"Welcome to my life!" Kazuya yelled back.

The Grand Finale: The Eggplosion

As they burst through the fortress gates, the cart hit a rock, sending the Golden Egg flying into the air.

"Noooooo!" Fergus screamed in slow motion.

The egg landed in a nearby frying pan, perfectly cracking open to reveal a glowing yolk.

"Well… that's one way to make an omelette," Kazuya said, catching his breath.

Sylvara shook her head, laughing.

"We're never doing a heist again."

Fergus grinned.

"Never say never."

Epilogue: Breakfast of Champions

The team gathered around a campfire, enjoying their perfect breakfast made from the Golden Egg.

Kazuya took a bite of the fluffiest pancake he'd ever tasted.

"Okay, I'll admit… this was totally worth it."

Sylvara leaned against him, smiling.

"See? Sometimes the most ridiculous adventures lead to the best moments."

Fergus raised his mug of coffee.

"To absurd quests and even more absurd friends!"

"Cheers!" they all said in unison.

And somewhere in the distance, the Chickens of Chaos plotted their next ridiculous scheme.