Chapter 106: "The Cluckening: A Feathered Menace Returns"

Morning on MILF Mountain was deceptively peaceful. The golden rays of sunlight filtered through the trees, the air carried the faint scent of wildflowers, and the distant sound of birdsong seemed to promise a calm, uneventful day.

For Kazuya and the gang, this was, of course, a blatant lie.

The first hint of trouble came when Sylvara's sharp ears twitched. "Do you hear that?"

Kazuya paused mid-stretch, groaning. "Please tell me it's not another orb of weirdness."

"It's worse," Sylvara said, her eyes narrowing. "It's clucking."

Ravynne, who had been leisurely braiding her hair, tilted her head. "Oh no, not them again."

"Who?" Kazuya asked, looking between them.

"The Chicken Clan," Sylvara said grimly.

The Return of the Chicken Clan

Before Kazuya could even process that absurd statement, the ground began to tremble. The once-distant clucking grew louder, building into a cacophony that made his skin crawl.

Then they appeared.

A swarm of chickens burst through the underbrush, their beady eyes glinting with malicious intent. These were no ordinary chickens. They were armored in gleaming feathers, their combs styled like battle crests, and their leader—a massive rooster with an eyepatch and a scar across its beak—strutted forward with an air of pure menace.

"That's Cluck Norris," Sylvara whispered.

"You're joking," Kazuya said, staring in disbelief.

"I wish I were," she replied.

A Poultry Problem

Cluck Norris puffed out his chest, letting out a crow so powerful it echoed across the mountain.

"Bawk! Trespassers!" he squawked in a voice that was somehow both ridiculous and intimidating. "You have violated the sacred nesting grounds of the Chicken Clan!"

"We didn't know!" Kazuya protested.

"Silence!" Cluck Norris snapped, pointing a claw at him. "You will pay for your insolence in feathers or in blood!"

Ravynne leaned over to Sylvara. "Do you think we can bribe them with breadcrumbs?"

"Not unless you want to make them angrier," Sylvara muttered.

The Great Chicken Chase

What followed was pure chaos.

The chickens charged, their tiny feet thundering like an army of caffeinated toddlers. Kazuya bolted, narrowly dodging a flying drumstick that Cluck Norris hurled like a throwing knife.

"This is ridiculous!" Kazuya shouted as he sprinted uphill.

"Welcome to MILF Mountain," Sylvara said, expertly side-stepping a chicken dive-bomb.

Ravynne, meanwhile, was having the time of her life. "This is hilarious!" she said, laughing as she dodged a feathery tackle. "It's like an action movie, but fluffier!"

Battle Tactics

Realizing they couldn't outrun the flock forever, the group regrouped near a rocky outcropping.

"We need a plan," Sylvara said, drawing her sword.

"Maybe we can reason with them?" Kazuya suggested.

Ravynne snorted. "Reason with chickens? Have you met a chicken?"

"Fine," Kazuya said, picking up a stick. "We fight."

Sylvara nodded. "Ravynne, you distract Cluck Norris. Kazuya and I will handle the rest of the flock."

"Got it," Ravynne said, cracking her knuckles. "Time to ruffle some feathers."

The Cluckening Escalates

The battle was, in a word, absurd.

Ravynne charged straight at Cluck Norris, who responded by unleashing a flurry of kung-fu kicks that would have been impressive if they weren't so tiny.

"You've got moves, birdbrain," she said, dodging a particularly aggressive peck.

Meanwhile, Kazuya and Sylvara fought side by side against the flock. Sylvara's sword flashed in the sunlight, scattering feathers with each precise swing, while Kazuya flailed wildly with his stick.

"Stop flapping in my face!" he yelled as a particularly determined hen tried to claw his head.

The Power of Breadcrumbs

Just when it seemed like the chickens had the upper wing, Ravynne had an idea.

She reached into her pack and pulled out a loaf of bread. "Hey, Cluck Norris!" she shouted, waving it in the air.

The rooster froze mid-kick, his single eye narrowing.

"Is that… sourdough?" he asked, his voice trembling with barely concealed hunger.

"Sure is," Ravynne said, tearing off a piece.

The flock immediately turned toward her, their eyes glazing over with bread-induced lust.

"Go fetch!" she yelled, throwing the loaf as far as she could.

The chickens took off like a feathery tidal wave, leaving the group standing in stunned silence.

Aftermath

"Well," Kazuya said, collapsing onto a rock. "That was… something."

Sylvara sheathed her sword, looking exhausted but relieved. "Let's never speak of this again."

Ravynne grinned. "Are you kidding? This is going in my memoirs."

As the group caught their breath, the faint sound of clucking echoed in the distance.

"They'll be back," Sylvara said darkly.

"Let them come," Ravynne said, smirking. "I've got a whole bakery in my pack."

To Be Continued…

The group's laughter filled the air as they prepared to continue their journey, unaware that MILF Mountain still had plenty of surprises in store.