Chapter 187: “The Sauce Supreme Showdown”

The Condiment Guardian loomed over the group, its form shifting between swirling ketchup, mustard, and an alarming amount of mayonnaise. Its voice rumbled like the sound of a blender on high speed.

"CHOSEN ONE, YOU HAVE SUMMONED ME. BUT TO PROVE YOUR WORTH, YOU MUST FACE… THE ULTIMATE SAUCE CHALLENGE."

Sylvara stepped forward, visibly unimpressed. "Let me guess, it's some kind of absurd trial where Kazuya has to make the perfect burger or something?"

"NOT JUST A BURGER," the guardian bellowed, its eyes (which appeared to be pickles) narrowing. "BUT A MEAL THAT CAN SATISFY THE HUNGER OF THE GODS THEMSELVES!"

Kazuya blinked. "Wait… I thought this was supposed to unlock the scepter's power, not turn into MasterChef: Condiment Edition."

The guardian ignored him and snapped its gigantic, saucy fingers. Instantly, a massive kitchen appeared out of nowhere, complete with gleaming counters, oversized utensils, and a grill large enough to sear a dragon steak. A timer materialized in the sky, ticking down from 30 minutes.

The Great Cook-Off Begins

Kazuya was shoved toward the grill, a chef's hat materializing on his head. The Sauce Scepter now resembled a whisk, and it vibrated with an odd sense of culinary urgency.

"Kazuya, you got this!" Sylvara shouted, half-encouraging, half-mocking. "Just don't burn the kitchen down."

Meanwhile, Ravynne was already raiding the pantry. "I found truffle oil and… is this a jar of unicorn tears? Fancy."

"Can we focus on NOT dying?" Brioche yelled as she tossed Kazuya a slab of glowing meat labeled "Ethereal Beef."

As the timer ticked down, the group scrambled into action. Kazuya manned the grill, Sylvara sautéed mysterious vegetables that emitted sparkles, and Quackleton stood guard by the pantry, quacking menacingly at a rogue loaf of sourdough trying to sneak in.

The Battle of Flavors

Halfway through the challenge, disaster struck.

The Condiment Guardian, apparently not content to just watch, began hurling sauce-based attacks at the group. Streams of molten sriracha and tidal waves of ranch dressing came crashing toward them.

"Is this a cook-off or a food fight?!" Kazuya yelled, narrowly dodging a glob of wasabi the size of a boulder.

Sylvara flipped her pan dramatically, sending sautéed vegetables flying into a perfectly synchronized pile on the plate. "Whatever it is, we're not losing to a giant jar of Thousand Island dressing!"

Ravynne retaliated by using a baguette like a sword, slicing through incoming blobs of honey mustard. "This is ridiculous," she muttered, "but strangely satisfying."

The Final Dish

With only seconds remaining, Kazuya slammed the final bun onto the towering burger they'd created. The meal was a masterpiece: a burger layered with glowing beef, sparkling vegetables, golden cheese, and sauces that shimmered like liquid rainbows. A side of perfectly crisp fries accompanied it, with a drizzle of truffle aioli.

"TIME'S UP!" the guardian roared. It leaned down, its massive, saucy hands reaching out to take the plate. The group held their breath as it took a bite.

For a moment, there was silence. Then the guardian's pickle eyes widened, and tears of barbecue sauce began streaming down its face.

"THIS… THIS IS BEAUTIFUL," it wept. "A DISH WORTHY OF THE GODS!"

The Sauce Scepter began to glow, its power fully awakened. Kazuya felt a surge of energy course through him, and the scepter transformed into a sleek, glowing weapon—a combination of a staff and a culinary masterpiece.

Aftermath: The Sauciest Weapon

As the kitchen vanished and the group found themselves back in the forest, Kazuya twirled the newly upgraded Sauce Scepter, which now seemed capable of summoning sauces with a mere flick.

"So… what now?" Brioche asked, wiping a stray blob of mayo off her cheek.

"Now," Kazuya said, grinning, "we have the ultimate weapon. Let's see who dares to mess with us next."

Sylvara sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I swear, if this scepter causes even one more condiment-related disaster, I'm breaking it in half."

"Oh, come on," Kazuya said, pointing the scepter at her. "Want to try some sauce?"

Before she could protest, a stream of chocolate syrup shot out, hitting Sylvara square in the face.

The group burst into laughter, except for Sylvara, who stood frozen, chocolate dripping down her nose. "Kazuya…" she said in a dangerously low tone.

"Uh-oh," Kazuya muttered. "Time to run!"

And so, the group continued their journey, now armed with the ultimate sauce weapon—and a newfound appreciation for the absurdity of their lives.