Chapter 221: “MILF Mountain: Peak Performance”

Kazuya stumbled through the portal and instantly knew something was off.

The air smelled too good—like cinnamon, vanilla, and a hint of danger.

The sky was pink and gold, the clouds soft and fluffy like premium pillows, and the entire mountainside was glistening under the sun like it had been professionally moisturized.

Also, the gravity felt different. Not bad, just… suspiciously comfortable.

Sylvara narrowed her eyes. "This place feels…seductive."

Quackleton adjusted his tiny monocle. (This land… is cursed with powerful energies.)

Then—

A soft giggle echoed through the air.

Kazuya turned.

And immediately forgot how to breathe.

Welcome to MILF Mountain

Descending the elegant marble steps of what could only be described as an absurdly luxurious mountaintop palace, a group of gorgeous, otherworldly women approached.

They were tall, curvy, effortlessly elegant, and each exuded a kind of mature aura that could crush a lesser man's will to fight.

At the front of the group was Lady Ravynne, the ageless queen of MILF Mountain—and the undisputed final boss of seduction.

She smirked. "Welcome, travelers. You've made it just in time for the Trial of the Temptress."

Kazuya gulped. "That sounds very dangerous."

Lady Ravynne tilted her head. "It is."

Quackleton puffed up his feathers. (WE MUST RESIST.)

Sylvara sighed. "I already hate everything about this."

The First Trial: The Pillow Pit of Peril

Lady Ravynne led them to a massive arena filled with overstuffed, heavenly pillows that looked like they had been handwoven by celestial beings.

"The rules are simple," she purred. "You must cross this pit without falling asleep."

Kazuya scoffed. "Pfft, that's easy—"

The moment he stepped in, he immediately collapsed face-first into the plushest, softest, most emotionally supportive pillow he had ever felt.

His brain shut down.

Sylvara yanked him back before he fully succumbed. "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER."

Kazuya gasped. "Holy hell. That thing almost won."

Quackleton waddled up. (I shall test my resolve.)

He hopped onto a pillow—

And immediately started making happy little quacking sounds as he snuggled in.

Sylvara groaned. "This is gonna be a long day."

The Second Trial: The Forbidden Hot Springs

Having barely survived the first trial, they were led to the next challenge: a breathtaking, steaming hot spring that radiated pure, stress-melting energy.

Kazuya squinted. "Lemme guess. If we get in, we'll never want to leave?"

Lady Ravynne smirked. "Smart boy."

Kazuya crossed his arms. "Yeah, well, jokes on you. I'm not falling for—"

Sylvara pushed him in.

Kazuya hit the water—

And immediately lost the will to fight.

His entire body relaxed. His soul ascended.

His tax problems were suddenly solved.

"...I live here now."

Sylvara facepalmed. "Dammit."

Quackleton, still covered in residual peppermint goo, waddled in with zero hesitation.

(Glorious.)

The Final Trial: The MILF Gauntlet

Lady Ravynne led them to a grand coliseum, where dozens of battle-ready MILFs stood waiting.

"Your final challenge," Ravynne purred, "is to resist the temptations of the MILF Gauntlet. If you can endure their charms and combat skills, you may leave freely. But if you fail…"

She smiled.

"You become one of us."

Kazuya blinked. "Wait. That doesn't even make sense—"

"BEGIN!"

BOOM.

A wave of ridiculously powerful, mom-energy-infused warriors rushed forward.

One MILF blocked an attack with a spatula and countered with a lovingly prepared three-course meal.

Another MILF parried with a hand-knitted scarf so soft it nearly made Kazuya drop his sword.

A third MILF called him 'dear' in a soothing voice and he almost dropped to one knee on instinct.

Sylvara dodged a flying freshly baked cookie and screamed, "KAZUYA, WE NEED A PLAN!"

Kazuya, struggling against a devastatingly wholesome headpat, yelled, "I'M TRYING!"

Quackleton, fully wrapped in a hand-sewn duck sweater, quacked weakly. (It's… too… cozy…)

The Unexpected Victory

Just when all hope seemed lost—

Kazuya snapped out of it.

"Wait," he said. "If MILFs are fueled by caring for others… what happens if we take care of them first?"

Sylvara's eyes widened. "Reverse MILF psychology?!"

Kazuya turned to the nearest MILF and took her hand gently.

"Have you eaten today?" he asked.

The MILF gasped. "Oh my. I—I suppose I haven't—"

Another MILF stepped forward, looking shaken. "Wait. Did… did you just ask about us?"

Kazuya nodded.

"Of course," he said. "You always take care of others. But who takes care of you?"

The MILF army froze.

The sheer shock of being cared for first completely broke their will to fight.

Lady Ravynne staggered back.

"Impossible… he has…MILF-slayer instincts."

The ground trembled. The very fabric of MILF Mountain quaked.

Kazuya stood tall.

"Your trials are over. It's time for you to relax now."

A hush fell over the battlefield.

Then—

The MILFs collapsed, overwhelmed by his chivalry.

Lady Ravynne sighed in defeat.

"You truly are the Chosen One."

Epilogue: Another Day, Another Dub

As the portal back home opened, Kazuya, Sylvara, and Quackleton stepped through.

Quackleton, still in his adorable knitted duck sweater, adjusted his monocle. (This was the strangest war I've ever fought.)

Sylvara rubbed her temples. "I need a vacation from that vacation."

Kazuya nodded. "No more MILF Mountains for a while."

Then—

The sky rippled ominously.

A mysterious letter floated down from the heavens.

Sylvara caught it. "Uh, Kazuya? You might wanna read this."

Kazuya opened it—and his face paled.

It read:

"You have been invited… to the Ultimate Husbando Tournament."

A slow horror dawned on him.

Sylvara smirked. "Well. Looks like we've got another problem."

TO BE CONTINUED…