Chapter 220: “The Candy Cane Colossus Cometh”

Kazuya was done.

Like, beyond done. Cooked. Overbaked. Mentally frosted.

First, there was the Eggnogpocalypse.

Then, the Gingerbread House of Horrors.

Now?

Santa stood solemnly before them, the snow around him glistening under the moonlight.

"The Candy Cane Colossus has awakened," he said, voice grave.

Kazuya pinched the bridge of his nose. "Of course it has."

Sylvara crossed her arms. "Why does Christmas have so many deadly things?"

Santa shrugged. "It was a different time. Magic was wild, traditions were dark, and… well, the elves were really into experimental candy crafting."

Quackleton shuddered. (They must be stopped.)

Enter: The Candy Cane Colossus

The ground rumbled.

A massive cracking sound split through the snowy plains.

Kazuya looked up—and instantly regretted it.

A giant, two-hundred-foot candy cane golem rose from the frozen ground.

It had peppermint swirl eyes, rock-hard sugar limbs, and its roar sounded like a thousand candy wrappers crinkling at once.

Its body glistened under the moonlight, its surface so shiny and polished that it reflected the horrified expressions of everyone present.

Kazuya blinked. "That thing looks like it could one-shot a continent."

Santa nodded. "Indeed. But we must defeat it, or Christmas will be ruined forever!"

Kazuya frowned. "Wait. Would it, though?"

Santa nodded sagely. "Yes."

"How?"

Santa hesitated.

"...It just would."

Kazuya sighed. "Fine. What's the plan?"

Santa stroked his beard. "Simple. We must lick it until it is weak enough to shatter."

A long silence followed.

Kazuya just stared. "…I'm sorry. What."

Santa's expression was dead serious.

"It is a candy cane. And what is a candy cane's greatest weakness?"

Sylvara slowly turned to him. "Moisture."

Santa nodded. "Exactly. If we lick it enough, its structure will weaken, and we can break it!"

Kazuya held up a hand. "Pause. You're telling me. That the grand plan to save Christmas… is to lick a kaiju-sized candy cane to death?"

Santa grinned. "Yes!"

Kazuya turned to Sylvara. "I hate this holiday."

Sylvara sighed. "We all do."

The Most Unhinged Battle Ever

The Candy Cane Colossus let out a booming, crinkly roar and swung its massive sugar-coated fist.

Everyone scattered to avoid the impact.

Ravynne dodged narrowly, growling. "I AM NOT DYING TO A FESTIVE FLAVORED BEHEMOTH!"

Santa, meanwhile, was already licking.

He had jumped onto its leg and was furiously licking like his life depended on it.

Kazuya cringed. "I don't know whether to be horrified or impressed."

Santa waved. "JOIN ME, CHILDREN! WE MUST COMMIT TO THE LICK!"

Kazuya groaned. "There has to be a better way!"

Quackleton waddled up, his little tongue outstretched, and started licking intensely.

(FOR THE GREATER GOOD!)

Kazuya's Genius Plan (Sort Of)

Kazuya was not about to lick a kaiju-sized candy cane.

Instead, he turned to Sylvara.

"Yo, you got a fire spell that can melt this thing?"

Sylvara nodded. "Yeah, but remember what happened with the Gingerbread Witch? Fire made her stronger. What if—"

Kazuya snapped his fingers. "Wait. That's it."

Sylvara frowned. "What's it?"

Kazuya smirked. "The trick is low heat. What happens if you slowly melt a candy cane?"

Sylvara's eyes widened. "It gets soft."

Kazuya grinned. "Exactly. If we melt it just enough, it'll become too fragile to hold itself together!"

Santa gasped. "GENIUS."

Quackleton nodded sagely. (This one… is truly wise.)

Operation: Warm Hug of Death

Sylvara summoned a controlled heatwave, raising the temperature just enough to soften the colossus.

As the once-rock-hard peppermint started to sag, Kazuya charged forward, sword ready.

"Alright, Big Guy! Time to meet your SWEET demise!"

With one mighty swing, Kazuya cleaved through its weakened torso.

A deep crack split up the middle.

The Colossus screamed—or at least, it made the sound of someone opening a fresh pack of candy.

With a final CRACK, the entire thing shattered into thousands of peppermint shards.

Silence fell.

Then—

Santa started clapping.

"BRILLIANT! CHRISTMAS IS SAVED!"

Victory & Regret

Kazuya collapsed onto the snowy ground, exhausted. "I'm never eating another candy cane again."

Sylvara flopped next to him. "Agreed."

Quackleton, covered in sticky peppermint goo, nodded. (Burn them all.)

Santa laughed heartily. "You all have done well. And now, for your reward…"

He snapped his fingers—

And a portal opened.

Through it, Kazuya saw…

MILF MOUNTAIN.

His eyes widened. "No way."

Santa winked. "Merry Christmas, young hero."

And with that, Kazuya and his team stepped through the portal, ready for their next adventure.

TO BE CONTINUED…