Chapter 219: “Gingerbread House of Horrors”

Just when Kazuya thought the Eggnogpocalypse was the worst thing he'd ever faced, Santa had to drop another cursed holiday bomb on them.

The Haunted Gingerbread House.

Kazuya pinched the bridge of his nose. "Can we get, like, one day without a ridiculous nightmare trying to kill us?"

Sylvara sighed. "No. No, we cannot."

Quackleton, still covered in trauma and residual eggnog, weakly quacked. (I fear what is to come.)

Arrival at the Gingerbread House

Santa led them through a snowy, candy-filled wasteland, past gumdrop boulders and chocolate lava pits.

Eventually, they saw it.

A massive, ominous gingerbread mansion, towering over the snowy hills like a delicious monument of doom.

Its walls were gingerbread bricks, its windows stained sugar glass, and the roof was lined with massive candy canes.

Most importantly—it was pulsating.

Like it was… breathing.

Ravynne frowned. "Why is it moving like that?"

Santa's face was grim.

"Because, children… this house is alive."

Kazuya groaned. "WHY IS EVERYTHING ALIVE?! CAN I FIGHT A NORMAL HOUSE FOR ONCE?!"

Entering the Sugar Hell

The moment they stepped inside, the door slammed shut behind them.

The walls oozed frosting. The floor was sticky with caramel.

From the shadows, sinister giggles echoed.

Ravynne looked around. "I swear, if I see one more cursed food monster, I'm committing arson."

Santa nodded. "A wise strategy."

Suddenly, the walls shifted, and out came—

The Gingerbread Men.

Dozens of them. Tiny, angry, and wielding sharp candy cane weapons.

One, clearly the leader, stepped forward.

"YOU DARE ENTER THE DOMAIN OF LORD SPRINKLEBITE?!"

Kazuya blinked. "…I'm sorry, what."

The tiny cookie warlord glared. "I AM LORD SPRINKLEBITE, RULER OF THE GINGERBREAD LEGION! AND YOU SHALL PERISH IN A THOUSAND SUGARY DEATHS!"

Kazuya burst out laughing.

Lord SprinkleBite turned red. "HOW DARE YOU MOCK ME, MORTAL?!"

Sylvara smirked. "Sorry, sorry. It's just… you're, like, five inches tall."

SprinkleBite screamed in rage. "WE ATTACK AT DAWN!"

Kazuya checked his nonexistent watch. "Uh, it's already midnight."

SprinkleBite blinked.

"…THEN WE ATTACK NOW!"

The Great Gingerbread War

The tiny cookie army charged.

It should have been terrifying.

Instead, it was hilarious.

Kazuya drop-kicked a gingerbread man, sending it flying into a gumdrop chandelier.

Ravynne grabbed two of them and smashed them together like cymbals.

Sylvara conjured a gust of wind, and half the army got yeeted across the room.

Quackleton, still traumatized, pecked aggressively, quacking like a duck who had seen the abyss and returned.

The battle lasted all of two minutes.

When the dust settled, the floor was littered with crumbled cookies and shattered candy canes.

SprinkleBite, missing a leg, crawled away dramatically.

"YOU MAY HAVE WON TODAY… BUT THE COOKIE CRUMBLES FOR NO MAN!"

Then, he exploded into sugar dust.

Sylvara exhaled. "Okay. That was stupid, even by our standards."

The Final Boss: The Gingerbread Witch

Just when they thought they could leave, the walls shook violently.

A deep, sinister voice rumbled through the air.

"FOOLS. YOU HAVE DESECRATED MY CHILDREN. NOW YOU SHALL PAY."

The ceiling cracked open, and from above, she descended.

A terrifying old woman, made entirely of gingerbread, with glowing licorice eyes and a sinister peppermint staff.

THE GINGERBREAD WITCH.

She raised a frosting-coated claw. "YOU SHALL BECOME MY NEXT INGREDIENTS!"

Kazuya groaned. "CAN I GO ONE DAY WITHOUT BEING THREATENED WITH CANNIBALISM?!"

The Witch screeched and launched giant gumdrops at them.

Ravynne dodged, but one got stuck in her hair. "Oh HELL no!"

Sylvara blasted fire at the witch—

But the flames only made her stronger.

"FOOLISH MORTAL! I AM BAKED TO PERFECTION!"

Kazuya had an idea.

He turned to Santa. "Yo, got any milk?"

Santa smirked. "Always."

With a flick of his hand, Santa summoned a massive tidal wave of milk.

The Witch's eyes widened. "WAIT. NO. NOT THE MILK—"

It was too late.

The wave crashed down upon her.

Her gingerbread body softened instantly.

She screamed in horror as she sogged into a pathetic, mushy mess.

"NOOOOOOOO! I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE DUNKED!"

And with that… she crumbled.

A horrifying battle cry, and then—silence.

Victory (Again)

The haunted house stopped pulsating.

The evil aura vanished.

Kazuya wiped sweat off his brow. "That was… unnecessarily dramatic."

Santa nodded. "Indeed. But you have freed the land from another cursed horror."

Sylvara crossed her arms. "Okay, but next time—can we fight something NORMAL?!"

Santa stroked his beard.

"Well… there is still one final threat."

The team stiffened.

Kazuya sighed. "Alright. Lay it on me."

Santa's face darkened.

"The Candy Cane Colossus."

Kazuya screamed.

TO BE CONTINUED…