In Naruto Trying to become a Saiyan from Kumogakure

Reveal Spoiler

AUTHOR DO NOT FxUxCxK AND DESTROY MY HOPE I N THE END AND DROP THIS MASTERPIECE,,, OK..PLOT STORY JIMMY NEUTRON BOY GENIUS IN NARUTO I LOVE THAT PLOT IDEA TO YOUR NOVEL..CAN THE MC HAVE THE I Q OF JIMMY NEUTRON TO CREATE TECHNOLOGY IN NARUTO AND Funk MADARA AND OBITO AND NUKE THE TEN TAIL WITH RAILGUN

3.8 stars.The stories not bad, but not great either. It abnormally slow and it really shows in the first 5 chapters. They develop how the mc feels about the cast in the sand village good but its dragged out far to long. chapter six, where he really starts to contemplate the future is where it picks up a bit but not by much since he's still a baby, at least the chapter did show his growth a bit. My main issue really isn't the story, or the mc's motives, or even the pacing, it mainly how it's written. Chapter six is a really good example and although I praised it it still suffers the same issues. reading each paragraph almost 85% of them begin with Ron followed by a thought of how he was feeling. if you really want to convey the story the the lense of Ron then I suggest redoing everything and changing the point of view to first person for the majority of the story to allow the viewer to feel what Ron is feeling without just saying it outright, a simple but deadly writing mistake

incredibly slow paced...................

This is interesting I like the inventions and the nation building I guess you can call it that but you have to turn your brain off when it comes to the mc ages and how everyone is just listening to what he says this is average but it is entertaining so I will keep reading. I don’t know about grammar those my brain just ignores mistakes

Just like it [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]

que dire , que dire , que dire, c est sans aucun doute la meilleur fanfiction de ce type que j ai pus lire. le monde dans lequel l histoire ce passe est abordé sous un nouveau jour, les idées proposé pour ce monde son innovante . les personnage devienne très attachant ALORS . MERCI merci beaucoup pour cette découverte . 20 sur 20 rien a dire ( french)

Really love the story so far, can’t wait to see where yo go with it in the future.Your awesome keep up the work.

So the MC’s all about lightning, huh? Trying to go full ‘Super Saiyan’ but ends up being a lightning-powered human? How adorable. I mean, sure, that’s somewhat close, if you squint really hard. Maybe try a little ‘divine intervention’ next time? Could be fun.