Chapter 3

I open my eyes, and the light makes my head hurt even more. A moan of pain comes out of my mouth. I automatically return my memories to last night, trying to remember what happened and how I ended up in Aunt Eve's room.

I overdid it with alcohol, because my last image is someone I went out in front of the club with so he could smoke a cigarette.

Why is it that in my head, the same sentences continue to repeat, even though I don't remember it?

"I promise to come back to Los Angeles and find you. I will do everything to make you happy with me this time."

A friend of mine enters the room. She squats on the edge of the bed and throws me a furtive glance.

- What happened there, Eve? - I ask in a whisper.

- I don't know if you actually want to know that.

I look at her with puzzled eyes, fearing the worst. I begin to worry that I did something wicked, and she was ashamed of me.

- Tell me, please, because I get the impression that I was hallucinating. I'm afraid to tell you who I saw in them....

- The fact that you saw Felix was not your imagination. He was at the club and took care of you.

For a moment, my heart stands still. I don't know if it's from excitement or fear that I met him after so many years, and he saw me in such a state....

- What exactly happened there? - I ask in a whisper.

- I don't know what you were doing outside, but my first sight was how Felix led you into the club, holding you in his embrace. At first, I thought I was so drunk that I was delusional, especially since he looks entirely different now. - Eve looked at me for a long moment, as if wondering is she wanted to tell me everything. - I freaked out because the thought of him being your ex, your greatest love, was replaced by the fact that he was locked up in a mental hospital because he killed his parents.... At that moment I immediately sobered up, seeing you in his embrace, unconscious. You loved this man so much, and he put you through hell at a young age....

- I suspect that you snatched me from his embrace?

Eve crinkles her eyebrows and leaps at me:

- Why, you wanted me to leave you with him!

- Why are you raising your voice at me right away? I just asked. - I throw her an irritated look. - You did the right thing, because I'm uncomfortable at the thought of meeting him in such a state.

- Worried about what he might have thought of you? And do you want me to give you a wake-up call? - He raises his hand, baring his teeth at me like a dog.

- That's not the point, Eve. Calm down. - I run my hand through my hair and sigh. - I would rather not defend him, but you can't judge him so unfairly. We both knew very well that he had a serious problem. He was sick. I don't know how he is now, I don't know if he was able to be cured, but I'm not the only victim. He also went through a lot, struggling with mental illness at a young age, and moreover, he had issues with his parents.... Over the years, thinking about him, it made me sad, because instead of helping him, I exacerbated his issue.

- Do you want to tell me that every man deserves a second chance? Now that he has appeared before you again, do you want to renew this acquaintance?

- Eve, don't jump to hasty conclusions.

- You don't step into the same river twice, remember. Especially since you almost drowned in it once already.

- And am I saying anything about the relationship?

- Nevertheless, I took you out of his embrace, even snatched you away. He was unkind to me as always, because he didn't even say hello, just said that we should watch each other when we go out to the club together.

- Sounds like a typical Felix...

- Oh, come on, don't annoy me anymore! Wrap up, girl, and get ready to go back to Los Angeles. I've had my fill of this New York," she announces, heading for the door. - Also, what is this psychopath doing here.... escaped from the hospital and is hiding here, or what?

I'm more puzzled, how does he know Hero, this dangerous guy? Because if it wasn't a hallucination, I remember well that he asked Felix to leave me...

*

And again the gray reality... Although I'm still on vacation, it's really overwhelming to get back together.

I've been in New York a short time, and it's fair to say that so much has happened.... Starting with meeting Hero and ending in Felix's embrace.

Until now, I had no idea what was going on with my ex-boyfriend. I wondered if he was still locked up in a psychiatric hospital, and if he had recovered and been released, how was he doing?

Too bad I was so drunk that night that I couldn't see with my own eyes how it held up.

After hearing from Eve that my hallucinations were real, something inside me snapped. An old longing resurfaced, and I wanted to see him again. I know I shouldn't have. After all, I was the reason that aggravated his illness, but despite the wrongs he did to me at a young age and his dramatic past, I still feel that he is my soulmate. In the last relationship, it wasn't. There wasn't the spark, the chemistry.... That's why the breakup came so easily to me.

So many years have passed, and I still think and miss Felix.

I look at the buzzing phone on the table and notice that an unknown number is calling me. I answer the call, but find complete silence on the other end.

- Hello? - I wrinkle my eyebrows, wondering who the joke was on. - I don't have time to listen to your breathing, so one more call like that and I'll block you. Goodbye.

I hang up and throw my cell phone on the table, in my mind calling people idiots. Some people are really bored, I guess they have nothing to do with their lives.

Another call from this number brings a mocking smile to my face. Someone really got their jollies together.

- I warn you, don't let him into your life again.... - I hear on the loudspeaker.

- If you're going to play deaf phones and throw around puzzling sentences, why don't you start writing scripts too? This is not a movie, man. I don't have time to play games.

- In that case, you'll start playing my game when you let him get close to you. Do you like the game of mafia?

Okay, at this point, a shiver of fear passes through me. A thought pop into my head that Felix is being referred to, and the person I'm talking to is Hero.

Just how would he get my phone number? Is it that easy to get it?

- Who are you?

- Selena, I would like to call you charming, but after our two meetings, as an adult I can only conclude that you are silly.

And at this point, I'm sure it's the dangerous guy who tried to hurt me at the races.

- How do you know Felix, and why do you control him so much?

- Gold, because I'm the one who pulled him out of this shit and gave him a new life. Felix is my only family and I won't let you take him from me. If you do something to me, I can get furious, and I warn you that I don't control my anger.

He sounds like a crazy person. If they are a family, do they all have some kind of mental problem?

- Don't ever call me again and stay away from me, do you understand?

- The same way you understand it, to give Felix a holy peace. You will stay away from him, I will stay away from you. - He says goodbye to me, and in my nerves I quickly end the connection, feeling my hand tremble.

Why does Felix always turn my life into a string of endless issues?

*

Later in the evening, I sit on a bench in the company of my friends and their wonderful daughter. We eat ice cream, talking, and there is no end to the laughter.

I still haven't told Eve about the call from Hero, maybe because she didn't tell Mike about meeting his old friend in New York?

I feel bad hiding it from him and I can see that Eve does too, but I'm the one who asked her not to mention it to her guy for now.

- Selena, do you know there are races the day after tomorrow? Say you don't have any plans and come with us? - The blonde girl looks excited.

- And what plans can I make for the vacations without my best friends?

- That is, I understand that it is an agreement.

I nod and look at Mike, who is wiping his daughter's face. Watching him these few years, I see what a great father he is. Eve is lucky that she fell in love with this man and that together they have Lily. They make a wonderful family.

- It's already getting chilly. Lily has overeaten ice cream, and I'm afraid she might get sick. We'll be on our way back, won't we, dear? - Mike turns to Eve, who nods her head in response. - Selena, we'll drive you home.

- Please stop treating me like a child. I'm an adult, I can handle it," I reply with a smile on my face. - But thank you for trying to take care of your dog.

- You deny me every time...

- Why do you assume that she wants to go home? Maybe she has some plans she would rather not tell us about? She is an adult. - Eve stands up for me.

- Perhaps Auntie is going to look for Uncle? - Lily makes us all burst into laughter.

- Honey, to make it so easy," I say, stroking her cheek.

They get into the car, and I say goodbye to them, making the walk to the bus stop. The evening air is the best, especially, passing by the river. I watch teenage couples who seem happy. My thoughts immediately go back to my past, to the beginning of my relationship with Felix, when love made me see nothing but him. At that time, I was a 16-year-old girl who could not believe that I had turned out to be a crush.

First love is beautiful as long as it doesn't bring suffering....

Crossing my arms over my chest, I walk through the park. The sun is setting, and it is already getting gray. There are people walking around me, so I don't feel fear, but at one point I got the impression that someone was following me.

I look over my shoulder, but I don't see anyone suspicious. I've hallucinated like this many times because of the anxiety I felt in the past, so I shouldn't get it into my head that I'm being followed again.

Panic arises in me and I begin to regret that I refused a ride home, when the sound of scuffing shoes against the sidewalk surface comes to my ears, as if someone was running towards me....

I turn around terrified and see a man dressed in black jumping off somewhere between the trees. With my whole body, I bump into the person in front of me, who grabs me by the shoulders. Shaking with fear, I excuse myself and lift my face, noticing the man I often dream about.

In the flesh, standing before me, is the deadly handsome Felix. My first, the greatest love that I miss.

And this is not a hallucination. He is really here.