chapter 5

1.

A woman took her dog for a haircut. She was shocked when told it would cost $40. "I only pay 9 dollars for a haircut." She said contemptuously. The barber immediately said, "But you don't bite."

2.

In ancient times, a monk and a butcher were close friends. The monk had to get up in the morning to recite sutras, while the butcher had to get up to kill pigs. In order not to delay each other's work, they agreed to wake each other up in the morning. Years later, the monk and the butcher died. The butcher went to heaven while the monk went to hell. Because the butcher did good deeds every day and told the monk to get up and recite scriptures; while the monk told the butcher to get up and kill pigs every day.

3.

At three o'clock in the afternoon, the sun was blazing in the sky, the beheading officer ordered: beheading! Suddenly the death row inmates a burst of laughter, the beheading officer asked: Why are you laughing? Death row inmate hesitated for a moment: experts really did not say wrong, a smile every day can extend life 5 seconds!

4.

A man is driving on the rugged country road, suddenly saw a young man running desperately, behind the three ferocious dogs howling in hot pursuit. So the man braked sharply and shouted to the young man, "Come on up! Come on up!" The young man gasped and said, "Thank you! Thank you. You're too kind, people see me with three dogs, they do not want to let me ride ...."

5.A rich man traveled abroad with his beloved dog, in a small town, his dog suddenly disappeared, he then rushed to find a local newspaper, asked to publish a dog search notice, and said whoever found the dog for him, will be rewarded with 10,000 U.S. dollars. The rich man waited until the evening, but did not see the newspaper published, and ran to the newspaper office to ask, only an old man guarding the door there. The rich man asked, "Is the paper not going to be published today?" "Yes, sir." "Why?" "All the editors have gone out into the streets to look for dogs."

6.

The mother snail was crawling along the road with a little snail on her back and finally reached her destination, while the little car which had started at the same time as they did was late in arriving. The little snail wondered why the car was not as fast as we were, Mom." The snail's mother replied, "Son, we don't have the hassle of traffic jams."

7.Want to play a joke with my boyfriend, pretending to search out a pair of ladies' underwear from under his bed (actually mine), and then questioned him, at first he refused to admit, I did not expect that later in my tightly forced, but actually embraced me to start admitting their mistakes.

8.The night sky a meteor crossed, I hastened to make a wish, I hope you can become more beautiful, who knows that just after wishing, meteor "whoosh" to return, said to me: big brother! Sincerely difficult for me is not it!

9.Before I went to bed, I warned my girlfriend that I, with the slightest movement, am prone to waking up and told her to pay attention when she sleeps. As soon as I woke up this morning, I realized with a jolt that I had words written all over me, "Look you're not even awake!" "Not awake even like this!" "Who's SB fooling!" ...

10.

On the street, a couple quarreled, and the woman slapped the man in anger. The man yells, "Another slap if you can?" Without hesitation, the woman slapped him again. The man paused and took the woman's hand: "Since you're so obedient, let's not quarrel and go home"