Back to school

After waking up and staring at the clothes in my closet I had decided to change something. Felix had emotions, more than I could dream of. And I wanted them aswell. Therefore I had to be like Felix. Felix had dressed differently. Therefore, I had to dress differently as well. It was a logical conclusion.

I took my normal uniform and stared at it. Black pants, white shirt. Nothing special at all.

Felix was wearing a yellow sweater. I had nothing like that. I only had the school uniform. I remembered Felix room; She had painted the walls with color. It's not like I had any sort or color available though.

Well, that's not true though. I had a sort of tool to color my uniform. I dressed myself. The monochrome and neutral Outfit. I went into the kitchen. My mother wasn't there. Her work starts even earlier than school so I am alone at breakfast. Normally I'd take out a slice of bread or some cereals right now. But eating wasn't my mission. So I took out something else.

The human body has it's own paint. I was about to use it.

Instead of breakfast I took out a sharp knife. I carefully stabbed the fingertip of my right thumb. After that was done, I quickly began bleeding. I wiped it off on my white shirt. The blood rapidly spread among the clean uniform and stained more and more parts red. After some time it stopped bleeding. At that point my shirt looked as though I had just coughed up blood. I took the knife and put it inside my school bag. It's not like my mother would miss it either way. Also, it may be hard to explain to her that I used a kitchen utensil to hurt myself so that I can have a different shirt.

I stood in front of the mirror. It was a unusual sight. I still mostly looked the same and yet I was different. The few splatters of blood changed a whole lot of my appearance. Especially at school, when everyone actually looked the same, I would stand out.

Perfect.

I took my bag and left the apartment. The walk to school wasn't special or anything. The closer I got to school, the more students which went to the same school appeared. And shortly before entering the school building I was stuck inside a mass of clean-shirt wearing fools. Every blood stain on my shirt showed my superiority. Each drip of blood was much more valuable than every thought they could ever produce. I grinned silently. Then I realized I was grinning. And after realizing that the grin only grew even more extreme.

I went to one of the toilets and locked myself in a cabin. That was the location Felix had picked out to meet.

"There ya are. Wassat at ya shirt?"

Her head suddenly popped out besides me. Then her translucent body followed and the ghost girl fully showed herself.

"Blood. I used it to paint my shirt in order to stand out more."

"I see, I see. Not bad, not bad! But why dontcha go to some shop and buy clothes?"

"I only realized it this morning."

"Eh, we could've gone after school."

"I couldn't waste a single day being like them."

She shrugged, then she went on with a completely different subject.

"So. What's ya plan? Ya just wanna get them emotions yaself? Or ya wanna be some sort of savior, bringing everyone to feel?"

"That may have been your idea, yeah. But I don't need to do that. My brain, my body, my desire, everything I am... Everything wants to achieve emotions for myself."

"Seems pretty emotional to me."

"It's not enough. If I long for emotions, I can't have them. Simple as that."

"Eh, chill out, bud. Ion care what ya think ya need to do. If ya only want them sweet emotions for yaself, then that's fine with me. We just gon give em to ya, Ion care."

"So... What's the plan?"

"Ion know. Thought ya would think of somethin."

The first obstacle on my journey to satisfying my desire was in front of me:

I had no idea how to even start that journey.

I normally would have to sit down and think for a long time now. Unfortunately, I didn't have any. First period was about to start.

"I'll go into class for now."

"Sure, Imma be right behind ya."

"Will the others see you as well?"

"Nah, I'm hanging with ya. So there ain't anyone else who I could be hanging with. Ghosts are kinda limited, I guess."

Weird kind of rule, but it didn't matter. After all, I am not a ghost.

I left the bathroom and instead walked through the halls. I now had two objectives; Become a master of emotions and go to class. The latter one was fulfilled pretty easily. When I entered the classroom, everyone was sitting down. I looked around the room.

Felix seat was, obviously, empty.

"What ya lookin at ma seat, huh?"

I went to it. There wasn't anything special about it. The only thing different from normally was the abscence of Felix.

I sat down. I had claimed Felix seat as my own.

Changing seats wasn't anything ordinary. Sitting on the seat of someone who just died probably wasn't ordinary either. And through sitting here I placed myself in her position. Through this, I may be able to understand her more clearly.

"Huh? Get down there, fool!" The only problem anyone had with me sitting there was floating right next to me and loudly announced her dislike of me doing so.

"What ya think ya do, huh? Get down there, sit on ya own seat! I wanna sit here!"

"It's not like anyone could see you anyway. So I'll take that one. You're dead, after all. Classroom seats are for the living."

If what she had said previously was true, then for everyone else it seemed as though I had gone crazy and just began taking to myself. But they probably wouldn't even care about that. They don't know what it means to question things. And if they knew, that would be even better. They'd think I'd stand out. And if everyone thought I'd stand out, I really would stand out. And standing out is exactly what I wanted.