Mall Madness – A Black Friday Bloodbath (Even Though It’s July)

It was supposed to be simple. Infiltrate the shopping mall, take out the target (a crime boss hiding in the food court like a little rat), and leave without causing a scene.

Then Crimson opened his mouth.

"Alright, boys. New plan. We cause a scene."

Disguises Gone Wrong

To avoid suspicion, everyone dressed up in disguises. Naturally, Crimson picked the most ridiculous one possible—a full Santa Claus suit.

"WHY?" Kai asked, already regretting his life choices.

"Malls have Santas," Crimson said, like this was obvious.

"Not in July!"

"They do now."

Kazuki, attempting to be normal, dressed as a janitor, but refused to do any actual janitor work. MJ stole a mall security uniform and was already arresting people for no reason.

Meanwhile, Bleaf showed up in a fur coat and sunglasses, looking like a mafia boss—which made security immediately suspicious of him instead of our actual target.

Leon? Oh, he had completely abandoned the mission and was hitting on a store clerk.

Black Friday Chaos (In July, Because Why Not)

The crime boss was hiding inside an electronics store, surrounded by bodyguards. The squad moved into position.

"Alright," Kai whispered. "I'll sneak in through the vents. Kazuki, you—"

"HEY, KAI! LOOK WHAT I FOUND!"

Kai turned. Crimson had robbed the food court. He was standing on a table, dual-wielding churros like pistols.

"Why?" Kai begged.

"Distraction."

Then Crimson threw a tray of nachos into the crowd and started a full-scale riot.

Kazuki, seeing an opportunity, pulled the fire alarm.

MJ, still wearing his fake security uniform, grabbed a megaphone and screamed, "EVERYONE REMAIN CALM!"—which caused instant panic.

Kaz , who had somehow hacked into the mall's intercom system, blasted "Never Gonna Give You Up" at full volume.

Leon was still hitting on that store clerk.

The Escalator of Doom

The crime boss ran for the escalators.

"STOP HIM!" Kai yelled.

Crimson, thinking fast, jumped onto the escalator railing, dual pistols drawn, sliding down like an action movie hero—except he missed every single shot.

"Wow. You actually suck," Kazuki muttered.

Bleaf stole a shopping cart and barreled down the second floor, knocking over innocent shoppers.

MJ had somehow hijacked a Santa sleigh display and crashed straight into a Build-A-Bear store.

Meanwhile, Leon had finally won over the store clerk—only for her boyfriend to appear. Now he was fist-fighting a bodybuilder in a Gucci store.

The Final Battle

The crime boss made a desperate run for the parking lot.

Kai tackled him, but the guy was stronger than expected and started choking him out.

Right when it looked like Kai was about to die, Crimson reappeared—riding a stolen mobility scooter straight at them.

"I GOT HIM!"

He flew over the handlebars and drop-kicked the target into a pretzel stand.

The mission was finally complete.

But the mall? Completely destroyed.

The Great Mall Escape

Security was everywhere.

"We need a distraction," Kazuki said.

Crimson lit a firework inside a Hot Topic.

"…I meant a smart distraction."

Bleaf stole a giant parrot from the pet store and flew out the emergency exit.

Kazuki and MJ took a roller-skating kid hostage and escaped on stolen Heelies.

Kai tried to walk out normally, but a security guard recognized him, so he was forced to fight his way through the entire frozen yogurt section.

Leon? Well, Leon didn't make it.

"Where's Leon?" Kai asked when they finally regrouped outside.

"Uh," Crimson scratched his head, "I think he got arrested."

Sure enough, Leon was already in the back of a cop car, half-naked.

"Not again," Kazuki groaned.

"Don't worry," Crimson grinned. "I got this."

He hijacked a Christmas parade float and crashed it into the police station to break Leon out.

Epilogue: The Aftermath

The mission was a success. The crime boss was dead.

But the mall? A smoking ruin.

Kazuki never got the stuffed penguin he wanted.

MJ still had the taser and kept accidentally tasing himself.

Bleaf kept the giant parrot and named it "Captain Squawk."

Leon insisted he "almost got the girl."

Kai was done with all of them.

And Crimson?

"Alright, next time we go even bigger!" he declared, already planning the next disaster.

Kai sighed. "There's not going to be a next time."

"Yes, there is," Crimson said.

And they all knew… he was right.