The Cashier, the Hitman, and the Questionable Third Wheel

The dinner table was chaotic as usual. Plates piled with food, conversations overlapping, and Crimson attempting to feed whiskey (his cat) mashed potatoes under the table.

"Hey, Dad," Hani said, swinging his legs under the chair. "How did you and Mom meet?"

Kai, in the middle of cutting his steak, froze.

The entire table went silent.

Then, Crimson grinned.

"Ohhh, you wanna hear that story?" he said, too excited. "It's a good one."

"Can we not—" Kai tried to interject.

"I wanna hear it too!" MJ added, stuffing his mouth with bread.

"Yeah," Kazuki smirked. "Tell us how she settled for you."

Nami, sitting beside Kai, laughed softly and gave him a teasing look. "C'mon, Kai. Don't be shy."

Kai sighed, stabbing his steak aggressively. "Fine. It all started when Crimson and I went to the store…"

Flashback: The Grocery Store Robbery

Kai and Crimson were on a very important mission.

Objective:

• Buy milk, eggs, and, according to Crimson,

• Enough candy to cause diabetes.

As they walked in, Kai had **one goal—**get in, get out, no distractions.

Crimson, however, was already distracted by the snack aisle.

Then, they saw her.

Nami was standing behind the counter, head resting on her palm, lazily chewing gum, bored out of her mind.

Kai froze.

Crimson didn't. He leaned in, smirking.

"Yo, she's cute," he whispered.

"I—" Kai cleared his throat. "We're here to shop."

"Okay," Crimson said. "But also? We could be here to get you a wife."

Kai rolled his eyes, ignoring him as he grabbed a carton of eggs.

Then, everything changed.

A guy in a ski mask stormed in, pointing a gun at the counter.

"This is a robbery! Hands up!"

Nami, completely unfazed, sighed. "Dude. You're robbing a grocery store?"

"Just—shut up and give me the money!"

Before Kai could react, Crimson nudged him. "Bro, you should save her. Girls love that knight-in-shining-armor stuff."

Kai didn't hesitate.

One quick strike—he disarmed the guy. The robber stumbled back, but Kai swept his leg and sent him crashing into a potato chip display.

Crimson grabbed a bag. "Oh nice, free snacks."

Meanwhile, Nami just blinked at Kai.

Then, she smiled.

And something in Kai's chest did a weird flip.

"You saved me," she said, grinning. "Guess I owe you."

Kai, panicking, blurted, "You—you should be more careful."

Crimson groaned. "Bro, that's not how flirting works."

Back at the Dinner Table

"Aaaand that's when she fell madly in love with me," Kai said, sipping his water.

Nami snorted. "You were so awkward."

"I was efficient."

"You were stiff and silent."

Crimson laughed. "Yeah, bro, you were standing there like a confused anime protagonist."

Kai ignored him.

Nami sighed dramatically. "You didn't even ask for my number! I had to write it on your receipt."

"That's a pro move," Leon said, nodding.

"And then you called her, right?" MJ asked.

Kai looked down at his food.

"…Three weeks later."

The table erupted into laughter.

"THREE WEEKS?!" Kazuki nearly choked. "BRO, YOU HAD ONE JOB!"

"I panicked!" Kai said. "I—I had to make sure I said the right thing!"

Crimson shook his head. "And yet, somehow, she still married you."

Flashback: The Wedding

Their wedding was small, beautiful, and mostly normal.

Except for:

• Crimson getting drunk and making an emotional speech about Kai's lack of rizz.

• MJ stealing food from every table.

• Leon flirting with Kai's aunt.

• Kazuki hacking the wedding playlist to play funeral music as a joke.

And the moment Kai saw Nami walking down the aisle, smiling at him, glowing in her dress—everything around him disappeared.

"You look beautiful," he whispered when she reached him.

"You're only realizing that now?" she teased.

Kai laughed softly. "I'm just lucky you said yes."

Nami smirked. "I haven't said yes yet."

"Do not joke about that," Kai muttered.

Crimson, standing in the groomsmen row, snickered. "I'd pay to see her reject you at the altar."

Back at the Dinner Table

"And then," Kai continued, "we had Hani."

Hani beamed. "And now you guys are gonna have another kid!"

Silence.

Kai nearly spit out his drink. "What—"

Nami smirked. "He's right, you know."

Kai slowly turned to her. "Wait… you mean—"

Crimson grinned. "YAY I GET A NEW NEPHEW?"

Kai sighed "stfu crimson"

Kazuki choked. "Holy sh—"

Hani frowned. "Making another what?"

Kai coughed violently.

Nami just patted Hani's head. "You'll find out later, sweetheart."

Kai put his head in his hands. This family is insane."

The Surprise

A few weeks later, the gang was lounging at Kai's house, stuffing themselves with takeout when Nami casually dropped the bombshell.

"Oh, by the way," she said, sipping her tea. "We're having a girl."

Silence.

Then—

"LET'S GOOOOO!" Crimson jumped onto the couch, fist in the air. "I'M GONNA BE AN UNCLE AGAIN!"

Kai, still processing, blinked. "Wait. A girl?"

"Yup."

Kazuki smirked. "Bro, you're about to have a mini-Nami running around."

Crimson gasped dramatically. "A tiny, flirty, chaos-bringing little sister for Hani? Oh man, you're so screwed."

Kai rubbed his temples. "God help me."

Leon raised his drink. "Congrats, man. But also? Good luck."

Hani, munching on a cookie, beamed. "I'm getting a little sister?"

"Yup," Nami said, ruffling his hair.

Hani nodded seriously. "I shall teach her the ways of stupidity."

Crimson wiped away a fake tear. "That's my nephew."

Kai groaned, already regretting his life choices.