Babysitting… But the Kids Are Smarter Than Us

Kai made one mistake.

Saying yes.

Nami had asked him to watch their son, Hani, and his friends for a few hours, and like an idiot, he agreed. What he didn't expect was for Crimson to find out.

Within minutes, the squad had stormed his house, uninvited, fully prepared to "help."

Crimson, standing on the couch, yelled: "Alright, team! This is a dangerous mission, and we must be prepared! If these kids so much as breathe funny, we respond with full force!"

"We are literally just babysitting," Kai sighed.

"You don't get it, Kai. This is WAR."

Kazuki, who had already been tackled to the ground by a five-year-old, grunted: "He's not wrong."

Phase One: The Illegal Puppet Show

The first mistake was giving Crimson access to the sock puppets.

Hani had an entire box of them, and Crimson—being the certified idiot that he is—decided to put on a play.

For children, puppet shows are supposed to be fun.

Crimson, however, started reenacting real-life hitman stories with the puppets.

"And then," he said in a dramatic voice, wiggling a sock puppet with googly eyes, "Mr. Fernando tragically fell down the stairs… and by stairs, I mean a twenty-story building."

Hani, fascinated, clapped. "Do another one!"

Kai, horrified, snatched the puppets. "NO MORE PUPPET SHOWS."

MJ leaned over. "Do you think we should tell them those are real stories?"

Kazuki: "Nah, let's see how long it takes before Kai figures it out."

Phase Two: The Homemade Roller Coaster

Crimson, Kazuki, and Leon decided to build a makeshift roller coaster in the backyard using a shopping cart and a bunch of wood planks.

Kai, who was making snacks, suddenly heard:

"PUSH HARDER, KAZUKI, I WANNA REACH MAXIMUM VELOCITY!"

He ran outside just in time to see Crimson riding a shopping cart straight off the porch like a madman.

It flew through the air, crashed into the fence, and sent Crimson rolling into the bushes.

Kazuki, nodding, took notes. "Okay, the trajectory was a little off. We need to increase speed."

Kai: "YOU ARE NOT BUILDING A DEATH TRAP IN MY BACKYARD."

Leon: "Too late."

MJ: "I already called it the 'Crimson Coaster.'"

Hani, impressed, whispered: "This is the best babysitting ever."

Phase Three: The Kitchen Fire (That Was Totally Leon's Fault)

Somehow, Crimson ended up in charge of cooking dinner.

This was a mistake.

Within minutes, the microwave exploded.

Kazuki, looking at the flames, simply nodded. "Yeah, that checks out."

Kai stormed in. "HOW DID YOU BLOW UP THE MICROWAVE?!"

Crimson, holding a charred burrito: "The instructions said 'Heat for 2 minutes.' So I did 20."

Leon, who had been distracted flirting with the pizza delivery girl, walked in and casually asked: "Why is the kitchen on fire?"

Kai: "BECAUSE CRIMSON IS AN IDIOT."

Hani, nodding, whispered: "Again, best babysitting ever."

Phase Four: The Surprise Magic Show (That Ended in Bloodshed)

To distract the kids from the burning kitchen, MJ decided to perform some "magic tricks."

It started innocent enough—simple card tricks, making objects disappear. Then Crimson got involved.

"You guys wanna see a REAL trick?" Crimson grinned.

Hani and the kids cheered.

Crimson turned to Kai. "Kai, give me your wallet."

Kai narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

Crimson: "Trust me."

Kai, already regretting his life choices, handed over the wallet. Crimson made a big show of putting it in a box… then immediately set the box on fire.

Kai: "CRIMSON, MY WALLET—"

Crimson: "And now for the grand finale!" He grabbed a fire extinguisher and sprayed the entire room, covering everyone in white foam.

The kids LOVED IT.

Kai, looking down at his ruined wallet, muttered: "I hate all of you."

Phase Five: The Escape

By the time Nami got home, absolute hell had taken place.

• The kitchen was half-burned.

• The backyard still had a broken shopping cart lodged in the fence.

• Kazuki was duct-taped to the wall.

• MJ was passed out under the table.

• Leon had stolen the pizza girl's number.

• Crimson was covered in foam and regret.

Nami blinked. "So… how did it go?"

Kai, exhausted, whispered: "I don't want to talk about it."

Hani, beaming, announced: "BEST. NIGHT. EVER."

Nami: "…I regret asking…."