Assasins , But Make It Educational

Objective: Assassinate a corrupt school principal.

Disguise: Faculty members.

Issue: They are terrible teachers.

Phase One: The Worst First Day Ever

Crimson adjusted his borrowed suit, looking like a discount professor. "Alright, team! We have infiltrated the school. Nobody will suspect a thing."

Kazuki, pushing up fake glasses, nodded. "Yes. We are blending in perfectly."

The problem?

• Crimson had a katana strapped to his back.

• MJ was dressed like a gym teacher despite being assigned to math.

• Leon was already flirting with the school nurse.

• Kazuki was reading an assassination manual IN FRONT OF THE STUDENTS.

• Kai actually looked like a real teacher, and that terrified everyone.

Kai: "We are going to get arrested."

Crimson: "We only get arrested if we fail. Which we WON'T."

The squad walked into the building like they owned the place.

Phase Two: The Teaching Disaster

Since they had time to kill before the assassination, they were assigned real classes to teach.

This was a mistake.

Kazuki's Computer Class (AKA: How to Hack a Government Server 101)

Kazuki started the lesson normally… then accidentally taught the entire class how to hack into a federal database.

Kazuki, typing on the projector: "And THAT is how you bypass security firewalls."

Student: "Sir… is this legal?"

Kazuki, pausing: "…Define 'legal.'"

Crimson's History Class (Where He Just Lied for an Hour)

Crimson did not know history.

This did not stop him.

Crimson, confidently: "In 1776, Abraham Lincoln and Napoleon had a rap battle, and that's how America won its independence."

Student: "…What."

Crimson: "Do you want an F? Because I can give you an F."

MJ's Gym Class (The Hunger Games but Worse)

Instead of normal activities, MJ forced the kids to play full-contact dodgeball with bricks.

Student: "Sir, I don't think we're supposed to—"

MJ, handing them helmets: "Cowards get extra homework."

Kazuki, walking by: "Why is there an ambulance outside?"

MJ: "Don't worry about it."

Leon's Sex Ed Class (The PTA Will Sue Us)

Leon was not supposed to be teaching this.

Leon: "Alright, class. Today's lesson is—"

Student: "Sir, why are you playing romantic music?"

Leon: "Mood setting."

By the time Kai barged in to stop him, Leon had converted half the class into hopeless romantics.

Phase Three: The Assassination Attempt (That Goes Very Wrong)

The principal—a corrupt scumbag involved in criminal activities—was their target. The plan was simple: Poison his drink.

But no.

Crimson had other ideas.

Crimson: "Why poison him when we could… I dunno… DROP A CHANDELIER ON HIM?"

Kazuki: "Crimson, for the last time, WE ARE NOT DOING A CHANDELIER DROP."

Crimson: "YOU NEVER LET ME HAVE FUN."

MJ: "Wait… where's Leon?"

Leon, over the intercom: "Attention students! Due to an emergency, there will be a… uh… SCHOOL-WIDE FOOD FIGHT!"

Within seconds, the cafeteria erupted into chaos.

Mashed potatoes flew. Trays became weapons. A student was wielding a baguette like a sword.

In the middle of this madness, Crimson launched himself onto a lunch table and screamed:

"FOR FREEDOM!" before hurling an entire cake at the principal's face.

The principal, furious, screamed: "WHO DID THAT?!"

Kazuki, sighing: "…This is why we get arrested."

Phase Four: The Great Escape

The principal chased them through the halls.

Kai, running: "WHO LET CRIMSON LEAD THE MISSION?!"

Crimson: "IT'S CALLED IMPROVISATION!"

Leon, dodging a flying pizza slice: "THE WHOLE SCHOOL IS AFTER US!"

MJ, kicking open the exit door: "RUN, IDIOTS, RUN!"

They barely made it out alive, jumping into their getaway van as a group of angry teachers threw textbooks at them.

Kazuki, panting: "…So, mission failed?"

Crimson, grinning: "Mission SUCCESSFUL! The principal is definitely quitting after this."

Leon, nodding: "Also, I got the nurse's number."

Kai, rubbing his temples: "I need a vacation."