Not every wrong is so damn damnable

Olsana gives me her hand, which i grab, and the whole background changes instantly. i'm in a room, medium in size, but filled with all kinds of stuff. It's just one room, with everything you need, or nothing comes to my mind that i'd need and isn't here. But there's everything here, a table, a desk, a stove, a sink, a wardrobe. She should have books…and there are, dozens of shelves filled with old books. But a bed? i look around and see a wall bed. All in this now, very small looking room.

The whole room is lit, but there isn't a light source. No windows or doors. i feel trapped here. i have no way out, and i don't know how i got in. Olsana comes too in the room, and goes in front of the table, which she fills with some herbs, that she takes from the cupboards under and above. She takes out some pans too, and some vials, and pots of odd forms. She turns on the stove, and puts on a kettle filled with water. She then turns to me.

"So?"

"So…what?"

"Well you tell me. you are the one that called for me, in fact, you cried even, pretty much despe…"

"Alright. i want to know what's going on."

"What's going on with what?"

"With everything."

"More precisely? I can't just give you one answer, and that to be the answer to all your questions. you don't even know what you want to know."

"Tell me about the cult."

"Cult…it's a strong word, that I don't quite…"

"Even you used it in the journal. Quite repeatedly."

"Yes, because that's the direction our community was heading to, sadly, every time."

"Tell me about the community, about light, about darkness. About why does the compass light up when i hold it?"

i pull out the compass and show it to Olsana.

"you don't have to show me. I know."

"What role do i have in all this?"

The old hag takes a stool close to the stove and table, and she signs me to sit on the bed. After she showed me the bed, the bed lowered down from the wall and i sat on it.

"you've read my journal after all."

"Yes. Most of it."

"So you know about our community's beginnings."

"Yes."

"And about how it ended."

"Yes."

"Good then, I'll start with the very beginning."

"i already read the part…"

"The beginning of all things. First, there was nothing. And from that nothingness, came out Light, Light was shinning bright and was occupying all there was, so he was alone. He felt alone. And from his wish to not be alone anymore, took form Darkness. Something that he couldn't cover, something that owned and occupied, half of that all. And Darkness came to life and…"

"They gave birth to the universe and stars and finally, the earth. i know the story. i heard it before. Don't know where. But…"

"you probably heard Light's part of the story. But let me tell you the story from Darkness' perspective, or at least as much as I know of it. you'll have to face many decisions, that you'll be forced to take alone, and you have to know both sides of the story."

The woman tries to find a better position on the chair, before clearing her throat. She's about to tell a long story. i don't know, but i'm tired of long stories. i want something short, concise, i want that small answer that solves all my questions. The old hag starts.

The earth has been created, and at the time, Darkness was not aware of this, but it didn't last long. The absence of Light made her come looking for him. And she came and saw with her eyes, Light's creation, and as soon as she saw the animals, she knew, what happened while she was going around building the universe. She was though surprised, pleasantly. Even if she knew that Light just broke the only rule they had.

Darkness wasn't upset, but she wanted to punish Light in some way… She didn't want to hurt him or do something out of pure spite, she just wanted to show him back, what she felt when she saw the animals, when she saw his betrayal. She wanted to punish him, for the disloyalty, for uncaring, for forgetting completely about her, for stopping from loving her.

So she used that opportunity and left for somewhere far, where it wouldn't be known what she works on, and she created the human. From her own matter, from her own soul, exactly how the animals were created. She put then the human on earth, and left again. This time she took great care to not be found in any circumstance. And long did she stay isolated, until she heard the echo of Light's cry. She heard the call, and she came in an instant. Light was happy, he was very happy of earth, and of the way these humans were giving him a new, great spectacle. They were entertaining him.

But he was alone, he felt alone, he wasn't feeling anymore the love he, not so long ago, had so much of. He wanted to know what happened with her, where was she gone, what was she doing all this time. So she showed him her creation. Creation that had a different impact on Light, different from what Darkness imagined would be. Sadly, they had different sentiments towards that creation, in which she put so much effort and love.

Then she felt disappointed in herself, inferior, unworthy of Light's love. And then, after Light witnessed her creation, the rest of the rules were created. Darkness felt so alone, for the first time, devoid of her creation, and of her love. She was unable to find happiness in anything. She got instead, as a consolation, the right to work on Light's creation, with some limitations. Between them, then, there wasn't love anymore, but that void left by the love she was born with, was shortly filled with hatred.

Hatred that filled more and more, both their souls. Hatred that was growing, steadily, constantly, without them two realizing, before they were already full of it. So Darkness came and indulged Light, for a last time, and she modified the earth. But she made so Light could not see his creation, for half of the time, and so she could see too what's happening on earth, the other half. From pure spite, she wanted to steal Light's pleasure, of watching his creation constantly.

And so, Darkness took her spot, where she waited, and then Light's cycle ended, and the small patch of humans came into her line of sight. And she was horrified by what she saw. She saw herself in the actions of the people. She saw in them, what she was feeling. Not hatred, but fear, dread, terror, desperation. Loneliness. And she caused all of that. The spectacle in front of her, was played by animals far more stupid than the wild animals, more fearful, more impulsive. More alike, to her.

The humans were quickly replaced by bodies. Lone bodies, spread throughout the forest, because they ran after Light, lone bodies spread through the predators' bellies. And the humans, that were as same as Darkness, betrayed and forgotten by Light, were doing nothing else than stirring up the fire, making it bigger and brighter. They were building their own Light. They wanted to be close to the Light that wasn't loving them anymore, that left them, that hurt them. So close, that their lives didn't matter anymore.

They wanted to be one with Light, joined with him. And so they joined, with Light, with the fire. The forest in which darkness was reigning, and which Darkness was watching over, was full of small dancing firehumans. Of lit people that were acting like fireflies, moving chaotic, until the forest itself was enveloped in light. And it was lit brightly, for a long time.

Towards the end of the cycle, Darkness wasn't sad anymore, alone, desperate or full of hatred. She felt no more. She just wanted for all to end, all to be like in the beginning. She already knew what would follow, what would the future bring. She didn't need to look, she already saw it in the humans. How, no matter how hurt they were, they were still coming back to Light, as if it weren't his fault at all. They were kneeling, dragging themselves low, and humiliating themselves, just to be in Light's graces again.

That was her fate, to do as those humans did. She knew that there isn't any other possibility, no matter how much she was lying to herself. The hatred was just a mask that covered her constant crave for attention. If this happened to the humans, it will happen to her too, as they share the same soul.

Light's cycle was passing very smooth, and in the meantime, she wasn't enjoying anything. She wasn't looking at the animals, at the scenery, at the nature. And she wasn't so eager to find out what happened with the humans either, but she wanted to know, what will happen with her. And it was her turn again, and people greeted her with a fire bigger than ever, already made, stirring it constantly, and feeding it more than it even wanted. The fire, made for comfort, protection, hope, had a completely opposite effect. The fire was burning so strong that it made the sky look darker than ever.

It was a depressive night, no star visible on the sky, because of the fire's bright light. No hope was shining for the humans, because of the bright light of the fire. The fire was covering everything, even humans. And the humans were lost, alone, under a broken black sky. They've created a night without stars. Even their faces were different, mutilated by nature, and the passage of time. Mutilated by the lack of their survival instinct. Mutilated by burns.

And as soon as night took over, and Darkness was watching, they started to jump into the fire. They wanted to get to Light, to hug him. For Darkness, this view was torture, her creation didn't know how to take care of itself anymore. The human has broken. And the only thing the human is good at now, is dying. It cannot survive alone.

The second cycle ends, and Darkness leaves the lit patch of humans. And she doesn't even have time to blink, that she's already again above them.

She sees them again, in the same state as the last cycle, and she breaks. She can't stand anymore to watch them do this. She builds herself an empty human body, stronger, so it could hold her soul. And she occupies that body. That body, she made after the human resemblance, more precisely, the way they'll look in time. An old woman. So she hopes she'll easily win the humans' trust. And so it happens. And so, Darkness unites all the local humans that survived, under her command. And the ones that are wandering around the jungle, lost, she takes control over them, and brings them back to the habitat.

Darkness teaches the humans all that she can in six months. And she brings back their survival instinct, and some more instincts. She helps them evolve. But most important, she leads them away from Light. She liberates them from the dependency of light, of fire, of sun, and the need for all these. Darkness couldn't just wait and see how she was about to become, she wanted to change the trajectory of her future, by changing the path the humans were on. She was changing the humans, in hope she will change too.

And the night cycle ends, and Darkness hides in a cabin built for her, by the humans. And she waits. She waits for Light to pass, for the day to end, and for her to not be observed. And night came again, and Darkness worked harder, taught humans all that she could, so they could survive independently. They learned how to live without the help of Darkness, or Light. They learned to evolve.

But she still wanted to make Light suffer, and so, she started taking revenge on his favourite animals, she taught humans how to be selfish and self-centred, how to want more, how to be greedy. She used them to destroy the nature around. She wasn't thinking of anything else at that moment, but how to hurt Light. She didn't care about Light's feelings, she didn't care about her feelings. She was proud of what she's done. She brought humanity on new peaks of evolution.

The black sky was slowly turning into a blue tinted black, so she went to hide in the cabin, eager for the next night. She had much more to do. Day went in a second, and was smoothly replaced by night. Darkness walked out of the cabin, to hold as usual the general meeting. Ready to deliver the new orders and tasks. But when she stepped outside, she wasn't greeted just by the humans. She then also was greeted by Moon. And she instantly knew. Her secret was a secret no more. And the rules were rules no more.

Darkness got mad, Light broke again their first rule. She waited until morning; all night she couldn't do anything else but think about past. For her, who not so long ago was playing with time and space in her universes, it was ironic how this time, she was feeling controlled by her past. By her memories. By the so slowing passing of time till the morning. When morning finally came, she, unable to control her emotions, gets outside to confront Light.

She didn't know what to say, or do, she just knew that she had enough. She reached the end of her patience, she played too much by Light's rules. Pushed by an uncontrollable impulse, Darkness started to yell at Light in despair, she wanted to let everything out, and tell him…

"Why have you forsaken me?!"

In a minute mistake she let out her true feelings, but there was no one to listen to her. Light was long gone. She went back inside her cabin, and didn't get out for a long time. She didn't want to get out of her house, not day or night. She didn't want to see the sun or Moon. She didn't want anything anymore. After years and years of staying inside, an event of sorts made her get out. The natural calamities that started to become more frequent and more intense. Darkness got out of her secluded space, to be shocked by the monstrosity that she saw outside.

It was the Tower of Babel. That's how the workers were calling it. It was tall to the sky, and large enough to make you move your neck. And it was far from her cabin. Very far. It was the pinnacle of science. The perfect place to test and develop new technological ideas.

At that moment, Darkness knew, that humanity has the chance to climb to the same level as her. A simple human, created by her, that got life from a part infinite smaller of her soul, could be her equal. For her, at that moment, humans represented a danger, a danger to her existence, a danger to themselves, and the entire universe. She was for her first time, scared.

The scientists where controlling weather, tectonic plates, matter, animals, gravity. And space and time, where at a breakthrough distance from becoming their own selves, their own creation. Humans could control the nature and matter around them, and they used it to create that tower, to evolve even more. They were already gods, compared to what they were, not so long ago.

But she didn't get involved, she knew best the nature of humans, and their way of taking action. She knew that once done, the tower could bring only two outcomes. Either humanity will destroy itself, or the entire planet. And for her, that was all she could wish for. For the pest to be gone.

So she let them do their things, and it happened exactly how she predicted. The breakthroughs led to conflicts, conflicts led to wars, and wars led to destruction. The tower fell shortly after it was done, and with it, the humans too. The majority got spread out throughout the world. All the scientists, and all their breakthroughs, were gone. All that technological advancement was lost. The entire human evolution of decades, was gone in less than a month. Evolution, that without Darkness' help, will take a thousand times more to get at the same level.

Then, Darkness gathered all the people around, against their wills, and prepared them for a very important event in the history of humanity. She modified a little, the sun's trajectory and speed, so that in that day, moon would cover the sun. She made all the humans look at the eclipse, and made them not move or look away, as long as they could handle. She used the sun's light to make the humans suffer, to make them hate the sun. And at the end of the eclipse, they would be all blind and with no memory.

She wanted to make sure, that humans would never get at that level again. That all the knowledge would be blinded with them. And in the middle of the eclipse, she left my body, and was gone.

My body then, was just a piece of live meat. A functional body, alive but empty. There were residues left, from her soul, memories, pieces of her feelings, but there wasn't an individual soul.

I stood there, on my feet, with my eyes stuck on the eclipse, and then on the sun, for hours, until Moon took a piece of her soul, and put it in me. Enough so it could be independent. Even more than a human has. The soul combined with the residues, became mine. And then and there, I was born. I spoke with Moon, and we decided to search for Light.

She was sure that Light came on earth, that he reincarnated into a human, but she didn't know in which, or where to find him. Together, we built the compass, to have a tool that search…ches…fo…for…

The old woman starts coughing violently. She stops from her narration, and prepares some kind of tea for herself. She pours the finished product, a blue liquid, in some kind of round transparent flask, which has an opening at the bottom, from which the liquid drips into a cup.

As the flask drips, the room is filled by a blue light. A light so bright, so blue, that makes everything that touches, every corner, every shadow, blue. The blue liquid seems to have the consistency of lava, and is releasing a blue coloured steam. The blue mist then, fills the entire room, and i was barely able to see the old woman. But i see her shadow, going to a shelve and then coming back, and a book entered my field of view.

"I can't speak any more…you'll have to read the continuation. If…you…read my journal…you can…this too…"

She kept coughing and was barely able to finish what she wanted to say. i hear her then sitting back down on the chair, and i hear the cup being dragged away from the table.

i open the book at the first page, it's the beginning of the universe. i think about the compass. The text is changing to where we were.

Together, we built the compass. A simple object that was supposed to guide us to Light. It was easy to create. From the three entities, we used a piece of the soul offered by Moon, a piece of the residues left by Darkness, and used them as exceptions. And the only entity left was Light, and then the compass showed us where he was.

And we followed the compass, until we found a young boy, at 20 something years. A boy that had no idea what he was. Moon, then took the boy out of the spell that was cast on him, and instantly after, his body transformed into a gush of blood, that propelled so fast, it evaporated before it got to touch me. There was nothing anymore in front of me, but quickly after the explosion, I felt his presence. He was in the same place the young boy stood before. I felt pain, rage. My whole body was trembling. At that moment, I thought the next one would never come.

"You killed a human of mine! If you do this again, or if you ever try to contact me, you'll regret."

Then I heard Moon talking.

"Darkness will not be scared by such a threat, then she will do the same thing we did, and you'll be taken by surprise. I don't want you to suffer, I'm sorry you had to make me, and that this led to the end of your love. I'm s…"

"Then I'll build barriers, rules of the universe, to protect me from these kinds of actions. From you…"

Then, Light was gone. Moon tried to search for him again, but with no success. The compass was going in circles, and it made no sense to try and search for him. But then, a few days after, the compass stopped, and it showed us again where Light was. Together with Moon, we went to see what happened. We found Light, incarnated in a baby just born. Moon arrived at the conclusion that, as long as only we knew his location, and his protections were impenetrable, he should be unreachable.

If it weren't for the compass, Moon wouldn't had felt him and found him by herself. We decided to respect his decision, and limited the compass. Being the only way to find Light, we still wanted to keep it, but we didn't want the compass to be used to destroy Light, if it fell into the wrong hands. So we modified the compass, to indicate the pregnant women that could give birth to Light. Following the affinities between Light's soul, and the other souls that he interacts with. The souls he develops relationships with. And this will show, only for a short time before Light's body dies, all the places he could return to.

So the compass would tell us, when Light's body is dying, and after checking all the women that could give birth to him, all the affinities, the compass would tell us, how much time his body has until it dies. After Light gets reincarnated, the compass should show nothing anymore, but should light brightly, only when it is held by Light. The compass will also light dimly, when is held by the woman that is expecting, or is pregnant with Light. That must be, because in that body there are, or could be in the future, two souls, the mother's soul, and Light's.

To keep Light's wish from being broken, we decided that it is our duty to protect that wish, and so we formed a community around him. We then noticed, that no matter how much we would explain, or make him believe he is Light, it won't bring back his memories. He wouldn't really realize. He wouldn't really, deeply believe. Protections were strong, so that they won't be broken, but we didn't want to risk, so we stopped poking around, and started to make sure we could do our part of keeping him as safe as possible.

In that community, we formed the rules necessary to keep it hidden and restricted. So, from then on, Light was reincarnated only in our community. And all was well and good. Until Darkness came.

After not so many years, years that we lived quietly and peaceful, Darkness came back on earth. To try and maintain, a diplomatic relationship of neutrality, between us and her, Moon came before her, to welcome her and invite a discussion. Darkness didn't take a human form, and so I couldn't be part of that discussion. But from what Moon told me, it didn't go well. She met Darkness and explained to her, Light's will to be alone, to live knowing that everything will end, and then it will start over.

"All that Light wants is to live amongst humans, at the same level as them, and forget the past. To try and just live."

"Humanity wasn't supposed to exist in the first place. It must be destroyed, along with earth. If not, humans will evolve so much, until they'll become a danger for us. Tell me where Light is, and let me take him out of here…so I can destroy this planet and its parasites."

"His love for humans, you know how it is, if you want to annihilate the whole planet, you'll have to do it with Light on it."

"Don't try to provoke me!"

"It's his creation, if you destroy it, you'll lose Light forever. And you have no idea what he could do after. You don't want to get there."

"The planet will be exterminated, with Light on if I want to. But maybe first, I should destroy the other creation that he loves so much."

"It's not true, he doesn't love me, I haven't felt this in him."

At that moment, Moon felt she had to get out of there and she fled. Moon came to me, and told be about this meeting, and then we instantly set off after Light. We got to him, we entered his room, but it was too late. I felt Darkness' presence there, and then all went dark in an instant. I was standing in the same position, in the middle of nothingness, and soon after, everything came back to normal, and in front of me was Light, confused.

He told me that he believes he's Light, but it can't be true, but he really does believe it, but he has this feeling inside that tells him, yells at him, that he's not Light. This contradiction grew in him, until it got to the extreme, and he then lost it. And we couldn't help him, touch him, or at least end his misery, all because of these protections, but we put another human to do it. And so, Light wasn't suffering anymore, and was again reincarnated as a baby. Darkness went away, again, she wasn't around anymore, but we knew she'll come back, better prepared.

And now we had to prepare too, for that moment. We started to hide the community better, to live more isolated from civilization, to use different protections on the community, to hide it from Darkness, but still it wasn't enough. For Moon at least, nothing felt enough. She was scared from the meeting with Darkness, she said that we had to break the rules, if we want to protect Light. Moon said that Darkness went to build a plan, so she'll go too, to make her own. And then Moon went away, and I haven't seen her for almost 10 thousand years.

When she came back, she told me that she knows Darkness' plan, and that she has one herself. Then I started to write the journal, as part of that plan.

"That was it… There are no more words coming on."

The old woman winces, as if i just woke her up, she looks at me and takes the book from me. She gets up slower than a dead man, and places the book back on the shelve. She then opens the bottom valve of the flask again, and lets it drip to fill the cup. The room got clearer in the meantime, but the blue tint was still in the air, and as the cup was filling slowly, with each drop, the room was also filling again, with the blue mist. She starts speaking.

"Yes. That's kind of the whole story."

"Well, then what is my role in all this? Why am i involved and dragged into this story?"

"Moon hasn't told me much. But the last time we saw each other, she told me to write for you, that journal. She told me that I wouldn't have much more to live, and I'll depart from your world. And here, in this one…we would meet."

"What is this place? The world of the dead?"

"No, I don't know either. But it's close to it. And I don't have much more to live, so let's hurry."

Olsana looks around, there is a dirty vibration in the air, but it doesn't bother me that much, but it does bother her.

"What do i have to do?"

"you have to leave this place. It's not your world. you belong to another. you have to go back there, as fast as you can, or else, you'll see the end of the tunnel no more."

"i'm dead! i can't come back to the world of the living."

The blue mist turned dark in a blink of an eye. i thought my eye didn't open anymore, after i blinked. The odd mechanism, or whatever caused that humming, that vibration, stopped.

"No…not the world of the living. Another realm. you must turn back to the origins, and liberate yourself. you've been there, and you'll know how to go back."

"i'm stuck here. i can't go anywhere. i just want to get out of here. i just want for all of this to end. Please help me get out."

"I can't help you. No one can. Only you, can escape this place. Only you, know the path to that world, your world."

"i don't want in my world. i want to get rid of all these… After i saw how they really are, i don't want to see them anymore. i don't want it."

The vibration comes back, stronger…

"you must go and fight the monster…!"

A huge shake hits the room, and everything was about to fall, but it stops, and all is still. The mist is gone altogether.

"i don't want to have to do with any of this anymore!"

"No! … If you don't start walking on your path, towards the light, you'll get stuck in this nightmare. you have to go and find Light."

"Light, is just a show. A distraction from what is true. A way to hide the shadows. The shadows that tell the truth, that show me who these people really are. Darkness is truth, and Light nothing but a lie."

"It's not true."

"Only in darkness i saw their true selves."

"That's what he wants you to believe. he's lying to you."

"Who is He?"

"I don't know."

"Who is He?!"

"I don…"

"Tell meee!"

It shakes, it all shakes so hard. i feel it's all my fault. i fear it's me crumbling and shaking without control.

"he is you, but it's not…"

"The one talking with me? my best friend? The only one that loves me, that helps me?"

"he wants…he means to harm…he wants to bring you to a dark world."

"Who is He?!"

"It's…he's a seed, planted by Darkness, in you. That's what I believe. I don't know how."

No, i have this feeling that…

"You know!"

"I don't know! …I think that…something happened at your birth?"

"No…"

"There must've been an incident. Something."

Something comes to my mind, no…

"my birth…"

"I was supposed to be dead."

"i was supposed to…

"I was resuscitated."

"…i was resuscitated, the moment i was pulled out, i was supposed to be dead…"

"Darkness…"

"It's in me?!"

"…no…no that's impossible. It's Light."

"But then, how was the compass…"

"Because…"

It's all falling together. Shaking. Shaking really hard. Burning. Fire. i have a fever. i'm collapsing. It's all collapsing…

"Because Light isn't who he was… His memory is hidden, deep, forgotten, only this way can the body survive. And nobody, can access those memories, or bring them back to surface… But…"

"What?!"

Why is all feeling like is falling apart? The room is changing shapes, colours. Things are falling off the walls, the walls too, are shaking and ready to crack, to fall.

"Darkness killed you, at birth. And in your empty body, implanted, another soul. A soul that isn't affected by these protections. A spectator soul, he…she implanted that soul at the same time you were brought back by the doctors. Two souls cannot occupy the same body. At least not until now they couldn't."

But three…?

Shad…ows, strange ones, move around the room, it all got darker, shadier, and these shadows are dancing and laughing and celebrating something. Mocking…

"So you have a soul implanted by Darkness inside your body!"

"Why? Why me? What do i have to do?"

"Because…to that soul…"

Shaking still, shady, but it's all coming together, is getting stiller and brighter. It's…

"To that soul was promised your body in exchange to freeing your soul."

"my soul? What…"

"Because your soul knows all, and has access to Light's information. he knows you better than you know yourself. he can either help you, or manipulate you. he can bring back the Light's memories. he can free you from your body and then take it from you. …through those memories…"

"…memories?"

"L… memories… That's why the compass is lighting so dimly. Because there are two souls in your body. Same as in a pregnant woman."

"Who am i?"

"you are L…"

"Who?"

"…"

"i…i don't…i can't…"

"Moon. You are Moon. But you can't remember. Because the body can't survive, can't hold that much information."

"i don't understand."

i don't know… Everything around me, everything in this room, every object, even me and the bed under me, and the old woman and the chair under her, everything is floating upwards, as if the room was just dropped. And the room is falling, and everything so fast, that we are floating inside…

"you just need to get out of here, and find…"

"But…He brought me here."

"No. you brought yourself here. That piece of shit can't force anything on you. he doesn't have the power… because of the protections."

"But why? Why did Moon do the same thing? What is my purpose?"

"Because she…I don't know. She didn't tell me, alright?"

"Why did she block her memories too then?"

"Becau…I just told you this, just now…it's because a body can't hold on, can't resist to their souls, these entities' souls. Knowledge, these memories since time itself was born. And because of this, you too humans die, and when you reincarnate, you don't have your previous memories. The body, the brain, can't handle so much knowledge. That's why is Darkness so afraid of you. If you discover how to keep your memories, to strengthen your body, to find immortality, your knowledge will reach the same level to theirs. Your soul can become as strong as theirs. And so it could learn to live outside the body, and…"

"And all these memories of Moon, can't be accessed. So i have nothing."

"you have to find Light. That's your only purpose. you have to go back to your world, and go on this search. This adventure."

And the room stops. No more falling. No more weightlessness. All objects fall back suddenly, right in their right places. Everything fits right back where it was, where it needs. But…

"i'm stuck here. i can't get out."

"you don't want to get out. you hold yourself closed here."

"How?"

"Find Light. Stay away from Darkness. And stop working with him. he is distorting your friends, family, your everything. your own reality is distorted because of him. he's lying to you."

"It's not possible. i know Him so well. i know Him. i've known Him my whole life. He's the only one… He's not Darkness, no, He doesn't work for her. He's the only one that understands me."

"he's working with Darkness and wants only the worse for you. he wants to bring you back to that monster. In that world. That's where he wants to take you. And you only have two options. To do what I say, to go on the path to Light and return to your world. Or to follow him, and walk the path of Darkness, and go back to that world."

"No! He's not bad. If there is something, i, know for sure, in all this absurdity, is that He, wants only the best for me. i feel, this thing, i know it so well, like it's the supreme truth, that once you discover, you know for sure that it cannot be untrue."

Shakes come and go, but i feel a lot of stability, but it could at any moment get fucked.

"you'll get back to that monster's land. you'll be destroyed if you follow that path. Listen to me. you'll destroy yourself if you follow him."

"i trust Him, but i didn't s…"

"Go on then. Because I assure you, that's what he wants. For you to go back to that world. Go. Go!"

"No…no i can't…no!"

"Go to that monster's world!"

"NO!"

"If you don't want to choose Light, go with him! Go to the monster!"

"i…i'm scared of the monster."

The room starts shaking really bad, but in a different way, in a different direction. Everything vibrates. The shelves, the books, the pans, all fall off. Into the water. The shimmering water. The water in which i…

"you're back."

All is dark, least the water. i'm in the same place, the dark land of the…monster. i can't raise my eyes. i mustn't.

"How good that you came back. i have awaited you with so much impatience."

"No. Please, i want back, anywhere back, just take me back."

"Look at me."

He grabs my beard, so softly, and raises my head. i close my eyes. i want out. i want…

"Take me out! Take me out of here! Haaag!"

"No one can hear you now. you're alone. you're just with me."

"i want out! Please i want back! please…please…"

The water turns into blood, and my body starts melting. i feel how i become a liquid that's falling, dripping down. Back on the bed.

"Follow the path of Light. Or the path to the monster."

"i can't…"

"you can't, face the past. But you can face the present. you have to wake up to the reality of this. you can't run anymore. you ran until you got to the end of the world, to the very edge, and you even jumped beyond. It's time to go back to world of the living. It's time for all to come back to normal. To kill yourself! To forget about everything and to go on the path of Light. But you have to do it fast! you have to do it now! There's not much time, and it's not good to spend it in this world. Forget, forget about Darkness, forget about him, forget about past. Follow the Light."

The whole room starts melting. Like a house made of wax, put in an incinerator. The objects around me, the table, the bed i'm sitting on, the pans, the kettle and the flasks, even the cup in the old woman's hand and her hand and herself. Olsana starts melting in front of me.

"This is the last time when we'll see each other. Soon I'll pass to the spiritual form, and after, we won't be able to talk anymore. Forget, forgive, move on and help. And then you'll find Light, and the path to your world, and all will be good. If not, face your past and you shall perish, with it, and with him. But if you make a choice, make it now and do it now, or else…later will be too late. All this is not a farce, a created story just for you, no…all is real, everything's real, and you are in the middle of it all. Don't ignore the story, keep following the path of Light."