The void

Nicole's pov~

"What did you do?"

Trish looked at me with unfiltered anger in her eyes, her breathing was labored. I had taken her upstairs to my dad's room to see the state he was in. She had followed me, eager to see my dad but when she saw him in that state, she still tried to move closer to him and talk to him, to try and make him respond to her but it was to no avail.

"H…how… how… death….parents….how…." Those were the words he repeated over and over for five days. She shook him but he did not look up to look at her. He remained in his sitting position, still mumbling to himself. It was obvious that nothing she said was going to make him snap out of it.

"What happened to him? Why is he in this state?" She asked me but I did not respond, I simply stared at her. She asked again, this time in a more aggressive tone.

"Don't yell." I rubbed my eyes with my hands and collapsed onto the bed, "it's my fault. I pushed him too far. He has been like this for days."

"What did you do?" She yelled even though I told her not to. It gave me an headache.

"Don't yell." I repeated and she grabbed me by my shirt collar.

"What do you mean it is your fault? What did you do?" Her voice was lower this time but still agitated.

I released myself from her grip and stared at her dead in the eyes, she was not going to come with me. I was going to leave, no matter what. I had nothing left to do on the island. I had no one holding me back, not that it would have mattered even if I did.

My dad was gone, all that was left was an empty shell, one that was not associated with me. Trish was here, she would take care of him. I was free.

In the end, I did not learn anything about the island and their secrets but I did not want to learn anything else again. I was done.

"You will take care of him, right?" I asked her in a low voice.

She looked sad, disappointed, in disbelief. "You would not… would you actually leave him like this?"

"You will take care of him. I trust you." I said and turned to leave the room but she held me back by my wrists and her hand once again found the collar of my shirt.

"Get off your high horse. The world does not revolve around you. When will you actually learn to stop being so damn selfish?" She shook me vigorously and my eyes turned.

"How can you just leave?" Her voice got lower. "Being rejected by the goddess is not the end of the world."

"Right." I said. "I still want to leave. There's nothing for me on this island."

"Where will you go?" She asked. "How are you sure you will not feel guilty after leaving?"

I did not respond, I did not have a response. I did know where I would go, all I wanted was to leave the island. And as for feeling guilty, I might eventually come to break down out of guilt. But for now, I wanted to find myself.

"Goodbye." I said and turned away, leaving the room. However, I was not able to get to the door before I felt drowsy and fell to the floor, losing consciousness.

I watched my body collapse onto the floor, it was as if I had been pulled from my body. I heard Trish's voice but it sounded distant even though we were in the same room, she ran to my fallen shell and tried to wake me up. Her voice kept getting more and more distant, the room started to blur out like it was a background. I watched everything unfold powerlessly. My dad was still in one corner of the room, curled up and mumbling to himse, as if he did not notice that I had collapsed. The room started losin color, all of a sudden, as well as the people in it. Then everything vanished and I was left in a white space of emptiness. The room disappeared, my fallen body disappeared, Trish disappeared, my father disappeared, everything was white, a void.

I was nowhere and everywhere at once, it was as if I had been suspended in emptiness. Yh is was not normal, I should panick but I was too tired, too drained to be surprised. Nothing made sense anymore. And then a presence emerged , taking a form.

"Nicole."

A whisper.

"You were always meant to leave but not like this."

I did not say anything, did not react, I simply waited for the figure to take a proper shape but I recognized the voice, I would not misrecognize it for anything in the world. However, I was simply not in the right state of mind to react or stress muse as to if that was my real mother or not.

Surely enough, the figure took my mother's form. The expression she wore was neither kind nor cruel, she stared at me with a straight face. It was a complete contrast of the mother I had known and grown up with, or perharps, this was who my mother truly was.

"You cannot leave yet."

I was tired of people trying to dictate what I was supposed to do with my life, it was my life and if I wanted to live for myself, I should be allowed to. I had that right as well as everyone else.

"You have a destiny to fulfill." She said, her voice was absolute and I hated that. She made it sound like I had no other choice.

"Where am I?" I asked and her eyes widened.

She gave a small laugh and stared at me with coldness in her eyes, "my child," her voice was void of any emotion, "I'm afraid your pain is only beginning. You act like you have gone through hell but trust me when I say this, your hell is just beginning whether or not you choose to follow your path and fulfil your destiny."

"Uh huh."

She came closer, her purple eyes glowing with each step she took.

"I saw everything. Everything you have done since the time I left the island." Her voice echoed in the emptiness. "I know you have doubts and I can try to understand how you are feeling right now. But you need to understand that you are not a human anymore. Now that you've unlocked your powers, you are no longer human."

"I do not want to be a god." I said, my voice coming out weaker than I had intended.

She paused, then her tone got more causal instead of formal.

"You know, you whine a lot. You are probably the worst person to give a job this important. You would find a way to make it about your suffering."

For the first time, I actually looked at her. The tone, the way she spoke, it was exactly like how my mom did but the words she said, my mother would never say those things to me.

What the hell was I doing?

"You want answers, right?" She asked but I did not respond.

I did want answers but getting those answers would mean a lot of responsibility that I just was not ready for. I hated everyone for trying to push those responsibilities on to me.

Then the scenery changed and I was suddenly pulled into an enclosed space. I was walking involuntarily, I looked around me and the women who had been chosen were walking alongside me. I was back in the cave however, I had no control over my own body.

Then the monster attacked.

The same scenery. The same violence. The same reactions.

I was being forced to relieve this horrible experience. The stench, the gore, the pain. It was torturous. I wanted to throw up but I could not, my body was panicking, trying to find a safe spot. The monster got me by the arm like it did last time and the pain jolted through me like electricity, somehow, it was even painful than it was last time. I let out a loud cry for help but no one came.

Everyone was running, trying to escape the monster. The men, the same men who accompanied us, stood and watched like they did the last time.

I remembered.

I had forgotten why I was so angry and he'll bent on finding out the truth. The men knew something. That was the whole reason I set out on this path.

The monster threw me into the wall once more and I jolted awake in the white void once again, the figure in the image of my mother, staring down at me with coldness in her eyes.

"What did you do?" I huffed, my breathing heavy.

"You are not the only one in pain. That scene will continue to repeat itself unless you do something."

Why did I have to do something about it? Why couldn't someone else take it upon themselves to fix the situation?

"Because you have the power to do so."