This is The End and I'm in Charge Here (double chapter!)

by Brad Sylvester

Prologue

This is The End

I looked at the video pick-up and thought about what I was going to say, whether I should say anything at all. I knew that in just a few seconds, almost every eye and ear in the world would be focused on me. Waiting for me to tell them how I was going to save them. When I told them our situation was utterly hopeless, they might do crazy things. There could be mass violence and rioting in the streets. They might even try to find me and take revenge for putting the Earth into this mess in the first place, but I knew what I had to say. I also knew that the people of Earth wouldn't be the only ones watching and listening. Our enemies and our allies around the galaxy would also be listening to my words. I took a deep breath and nodded to the video tech. She raised her hand and said "You're live in five, four, three, two, one." She pointed at me as the indicator light on the camera began to glow.

"People of Earth," I began, in a somber tone, "as you know, the Earth is being threatened with complete destruction at the hands, or at the claws really, of an alien race from a world far across the galaxy. You may be thinking that I'm going to find a way to fix this and save us all. This time, however, I don't see any way out of this mess. I think we're all doomed, and I think you all deserve to know how we got here. It's a long story, but we have some time left so I'm going to tell you everything. As we sit here faced with the utter destruction of all of humanity, it seems like the right time to tell you who I am and how I got here. In a way, I am responsible for the threat facing Earth now. On the other hand, I have saved the human race several times already. It's a long story and it's going to surprise you. You all think of me as the rightful King of Earth. You think I earned the position over the years with hard work, intelligence, and my altruistic nature. In truth, I have been selfish. I lied, cheated, and tricked my way to this position. Along the way, I have brought incredible benefits to the people of Earth. I can honestly say that right up until this current crisis, your lives have been a thousand times better because of my actions. Now unfortunately, it looks like we're all going to die, and this too is because of my actions. That's a lot to digest, so I'm going to start at the very beginning, many, many years ago. It started out with a lucky break. From there, I used my wits, bold moves, imagination, confidence, and creativity to get where I am, to get you all where you are, and ultimately unless there some's miracle, to get us all killed. It all started one day, more than fifty years ago when I was eight years old, playing in my backyard like any other kid…"

Chapter 1

I'm in Charge Here

"This is going to be the best treehouse ever," I proclaimed as I looked out through the woods of my backyard from the little platform. I had dragged two discarded pallets to this spot, taken them apart with my hammer and used the wooden planks as the basis of my new treehouse. For now, it was just a platform using the fork in the tree as the support, but in my mind, it was to be my fortress, my headquarters, my expedition base camp, and my secret hiding place. In my eight-year-old imagination, it was the starting point of all my future adventures. I would expand it over time as more materials became available. Eventually, I imagined, it would be a hidden palace in the trees.

Of course, this was all in my imagination. The platform was fairly stable and held my weight well enough, but it was only about four feet square. If I lay down, with my head at one edge, my heels would be off the edge on the other side, unless I lay diagonally from corner to corner. It was just the start though.

I lay there daydreaming about how cool it was going to be, when suddenly I heard a loud popping sound like a miniature thunderclap. I sat up with a start, was my treehouse falling down already? Had I built it so badly? I hadn't felt it shift. It seemed stable enough when I shifted my weight to test it.

I looked over the edge in the direction from which the sound had come. It was in the small clearing next to my treehouse. On the ground was some kind of glass and metal box that I could only guess was a vehicle of some kind. It hadn't been there before, and I didn't hear anything approach. That was odd. The thing itself was just a little bigger than a van or a small truck. It was basically a big, rectangular box with rounded corners. It had what looked like windows on all four sides, but I couldn't see through them to get a look inside.

Suddenly, a door opened or, to be more accurate, a space in the shape of a door suddenly appeared, as if that part of the vehicle's outer surface had just disappeared leaving an opening big enough for a person to walk through. Then, someone did walk through. He was human-shaped… almost. I mean, he had four arms, with the extra set coming from the elbows. His skin was pale green, and his uniform matched his skin color. 

"Holy cow!" I thought, coming to the obvious conclusion. "It's a space alien!"

He, or maybe it, looked up at me. "Generic introductory greeting," it said.

"What?" I replied.

"Generic introductory greeting in Human English." It tried again. It looked puzzled for a moment. Then said, "I mean Hello."

"Why didn't you say so in the first place?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, I didn't engage the translator properly. This is my first native lifeform introduction," it said. "Can you take me to your leader?"

"Really? Take me to your leader? I thought that was just from movies, but you guys really say things like that?" I asked.

He looked confused again. "Let me check the translation, maybe it didn't come out right…" He paused a moment, then continued, "No, that's correct. I would like to speak to your leader to negotiate a contract for local resources. I can offer generous terms that I'm sure your people will find quite beneficial."

"What do you want from us, people to take back and dissect for research?"

"Oh my! No, of course not. We would never harm the local population! That's not how we conduct ourselves. Although there are others who don't operate with the same moral codes that we do. We'd like to use your 5th planet, the large gas giant, as a refueling station. We'd also like to establish formal diplomatic relations with the people of this system."

"Hmm." I said, my mind racing. "That's going to be expensive. What have you got to trade?"

"I think that's a matter best discussed with this planet's leader. Can you take me to your leader?"

An idea popped into my head. A crazy, brilliant, bold idea. An idea that could shape the future of the world, and more importantly, help me get this treehouse properly finished into the secret headquarters fortress that I had imagined.

"As it turns out," I said with a big smile, "You have had the incredible good luck to land right next to the Earth Planetary Leadership Platform. Since I am standing here, it should be obvious that I am the Leader of Earth. Honestly, I'm surprised you found it. It should have been cloaked from your sensors. I'll have to get that fixed. Now, tell me, what can you offer me?"

The alien ambassador looked surprised. "You seem like a young member of the Earth species, I mean, a child. Are you sure you're the leader?"

"Am I sure? Of course, I'm sure. You have insulted me! I may have to cancel these negotiations and send you away in disgrace," I said, crossing my arms across my chest trying to look angry and insulted.

"Oh my. I am sorry for any insult. Please accept my apology. I did not intend to insult you." He looked shocked and a little bit scared, I thought, if his alien features showed emotions the same way human faces did. Just as I hoped. If this was his first assignment as an ambassador to an alien species, he could hardly let it end by being sent home in disgrace after insulting the local planetary leader. Which he thought was me. OK, let's see how well I could play this.

"It is customary to include a small gift with apologies," I said. "As I've already mentioned, my sensor shielding for this leadership platform seems to be having a problem. If you can provide me with a device to hide this platform from view, including electronic sensors of any kind, and help me with the initial expansion of the platform, I will allow you to stay and begin negotiations."

"Oh, yes. I can certainly do that. I have a fabrication mech in my local trans-dimensional travel module, um. I mean I have a… builder robot in my… car."

"Excellent, let me tell you how I want this place changed. After all, if I, as Planetary Leader am going to be hosting visitors from alien planets, this simple platform just won't do." I smiled. This was going to be the start of something really big, I thought. I was going to have the world's greatest treehouse.