Super-Secret Headquarters Treehouse Fortress

"OK," I said, "Let's get started on the Planetary Leader's Treehouse. What can your builder robot do? Do you have any wooden boards?"

"Wooden boards? Is that a traditional material? I mean, I can fabricate wooden boards if you need them, but we would typically use a carbon nanotube matrix material for structures. It's very strong and lightweight, really ideal for an application like your… treehouse."

I considered, "Is that the best you've got?"

His eyes seemed to open wider, and he went very still, a sign that I later learned meant he was surprised and trying to process the information he just received. "Well, I mean, there's… oh, you don't have a word for it… let's say Neutronium, just compressed neutrons like in a collapsed star. Of course, the mass of something as big as your treehouse made of Neutronium would throw the Earth out of its current orbit… Unless we installed a planetary guidance system, but I'm afraid the expense of that is beyond my means." He made a gesture with his upper hands lifted with his fingers pointing upward, while his lower arms hung down seemingly at rest. He had made this gesture several times already in our discussion and I was beginning to gather that it was a kind of apology or signal of regret in his own failing. 

"So, is this nanotube stuff any good?" I asked. I didn't want to be stuck with something like cardboard that would just fall apart the first time it rained. You have to remember that I was only eight years old at this time, and I hadn't yet undergone any training downloads.

"Oh, yes," he replied, "it is the same material from which my local trans-dimens… uh, my car is constructed. We layer it with an insulating material to create a laminate. It greatly reduces heat transfer, is very strong, lightweight, and has properties that make it very good at shaping and holding electromagnetic fields like the cloaking field you requested." He tilted his head to the right in a very sudden almost insect-like motion. I learned later this meant he was finished talking waiting for my decision.

"Hmm, sounds good. Let's use that. I want to be able to make the Planetary Headquarters completely invisible whenever I want. That's what makes it Super-Secret. Can you put solar cells or something for electricity?"

"Solar…? Oh my. We can do better than that. We use dark energy transducers to power our systems. Completely scalable and draws power from the underlying fabric of the universe, completely safe in the amounts required for a… um, treehouse of any size. If we go too large we'd risk unravelling space-time locally, but not an issue for this application."

"Good. Then running water should be no problem, right?"

"Correct, depending on how much you need we can either condense it from the air, synthesize it…" He paused and went still before continuing, "...or there is an aquifer that we can access through the bedrock at this location at approximately…" he paused, "75 feet below the surface."

I clapped my hands together excitedly. "This is going to be so great!" I could barely contain my excitement. "I'll need a pencil and paper to draw it out the way I want it."

"Yes, of course," he said. A moment later a small flying platform emerged from his car with a small stack of blank paper and a pencil. I smiled, eager to get to work.

"Ok, first, can we make it higher? I want it about twenty feet up… with a lookout tower that's taller than all the trees. Remember it's got to be invisible. And it shouldn't stick up too high, I don't want planes crashing into it. Can we make it so birds don't hit it, a pile of dead birds all around it would be pretty suspicious. I want all the windows like your car windows. We can see out, but nobody can see in. Oh, it's invisible anyway. Hey, if we're inside will we be invisible, too? We can't just look like we're walking on air if somebody happens to walk by. Ok, the Welcoming Hall should be here. It should have a trap door and a rope ladder so we can climb up… Wait, can you make an invisible elevator?! Oh man, this is going to be so cool!" Time raced past as I continued drawing and describing what I wanted. I was too excited to wait for him to answer my questions. The words tumbled out of me faster and faster as I designed the Super-Secret Planetary Leadership Headquarters Treehouse Fortress. This was going to be better than the Justice League's Hall of Justice!

I finished the plans a few hours later, he looked at me and raised his upper hands in apology. "What's the matter?" I asked, "Too much? Well, what can you do?" I knew the disappointment was clear in my voice. All my plans… Well, if he could just put a roof and walls and maybe make it a little bigger than my for by four foot platform…

He interrupted my growing melancholy. "I can do it, but I'm sorry to say that I only have a small fabrication mech so it will take me some time to finish all this. I am estimating that it cannot be finished before mid-morning tomorrow." Again, he raised two hands in apology.

My eyes lit up. Tomorrow! That was great! Oh, man this was going to be good. I tried to calm my expression, probably too late, but if he wasn't familiar with human expressions… "Well, if that's the best you can do… Just remember, this is to apologize for insulting me. Once it's done, I'll have to see if it's acceptable before we can even start negotiations for the fuel station you wanted."

"Oh, yes. Of course, Earth Leader," he said.

"Earth Leader? No, that won't do. For now, you can call me King Tim, Supreme Ruler of Earth…um no, King Timothy, Supreme Ruler of The Entire Earth Solar System and Nearby Space." I pronounced the title in what I thought sounded like an official voice.

Looking back on this exchange so many years ago, I can still feel the excitement I felt planning my new treehouse, but I have to laugh at how silly and childlike I was; an eight-year-old kid convincing an alien ambassador from an advanced extraterrestrial species that I was the Ruler of all of Earth, King of All I Survey. Yet, here I am, from that humble beginning, risen to be the true and undisputed King of Earth. But let me get back to the story.

Just then, I heard my mother calling my name in the distance. Oh great, I thought, dinner time. I didn't want to leave, but Mom was calling. "I am being summoned by the royal cook for the evening meal. Hey, what should I call you, anyway? Do you people have names?"

"Of course, King Timothy, Supreme Ruler of the Entire Earth Solar System and nearby Space, my name can be translated as One who Marches Across the Vast Emptiness to New Worlds."

"Wow, that's a lot." Then my eyes lit up as I had a sudden epiphany, "Sky Walker!"

"Yes, that might be another way to translate it," he said.

I laughed out loud. "No that's just too cliché, and Strider is out for the same reason. Hmmm, How about we recognize your role as the first Ambassador from Another World to contact me, I grant you the title and honorary name Earth Friend. You shall have this title for life unless you should ever betray our friendship," I said sternly. "Anyway, I have to go eat dinner. I'll be back tomorrow to check on things."

"Yes, of course, king Timothy, Supreme Ruler of the Entire Earth Solar System and Nearby Space," he said, "I will get to work right away."

"Ok, see you tomorrow," I said and headed back home.

As I began walking, I heard him mumbling to himself, "Earth Friend…"

I was giddy as I rushed home. I hoped Mom made something good for dinner, I was famished. It turns out that it took a lot of energy to plan Super-Secret Headquarters Fortresses with alien ambassadors.

"How was your day?" Mom asked when I got back to the house.

I smiled, "Awesome," I said. "I was building my new tree fort in the backyard. It's going to be super cool."

"How nice, maybe Your father should take a look to make sure it's safe tomorrow. I wouldn't want you to fall out of a tree and hurt yourself," She suggested.

For a moment, I panicked. I couldn't have my parents messing around with the Super-Secret Planetary Leadership Headquarters Treehouse Fortress, but I couldn't exactly lie to them either. They'd want to bring Earth Friend to meet the President or something and I'd lose my whole kingship. "There's nothing to see, it's completely invisible," I said honestly, a sly smile on my lips.

"Oh, invisible, huh? Well, just be careful." She said, as my father came in to sit down for dinner. I spent the dinner and the rest of the evening talking about anything else instead of my day and the new planetary base being constructed in the backyard by an alien robot.

Despite my excitement, I fell asleep quickly when I went to bed. The next morning, I jumped up, got dressed, wolfed down a quick breakfast and headed out to the spot in the backyard where I had built my simple tree fort the day before.

I ran through the woods. I couldn't wait to see what progress had been made during the night! It was going to be great! I slowed as I approached. My excitement draining. There was nothing there. No Planetary Headquarters, no alien interdimensional local transport, no Earth Friend, nothing. Had it all been a dream? No, it had been so real. I sat down heavily on the ground. My simple wooden platform was still there, just the way I built it yesterday. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.