The Story of E – Chapter 9: I Am Not the Chosen One, But They Insist Anyway
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Previously on The Story of E
E escaped an inescapable prison dimension by walking through a door that shouldn't exist.
The Reality Enforcement Bureau (REB) is one nervous breakdown away from just ignoring him forever.
E entered a generic fantasy world with a brand-new quest:
[BECOME THE HERO. OR THE VILLAIN. OR BOTH.]
Naturally, E is about to make some very poor life choices for everyone else involved.
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1. Fantasy World Speedrun Any%
E looked around.
It was the standard medieval town.
Stone houses? Check.
Suspiciously clean cobblestone roads? Check.
A guy yelling about an "Evil Lord" who will "end the world" unless "a Chosen One" appears? Check.
E sighed. "Oh great. It's one of these."
A new tutorial box popped up.
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[WELCOME TO GENERIC FANTASY KINGDOM #873! PLEASE ENJOY YOUR STAY.]
[MAIN QUEST: DEFEAT THE EVIL LORD.]
[NOTE: YOU ARE NOT THE CHOSEN ONE.]
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E nodded. "Cool, cool. Time to ignore the main quest and—"
Before he could finish, a group of knights in shiny armor appeared and pointed their swords at him.
"THERE HE IS! THE CHOSEN ONE!"
E blinked. "...Excuse me?"
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2. Gaslighting Me Into Being the Hero
The lead knight, Sir Generic McHeroSupport, grabbed E by the shoulders.
"You have arrived at last!"
E gently removed the man's hands. "Look, I get that you people are desperate for a hero, but I'm legally not responsible for your problems."
The knight shook his head.
"Nonsense! The ancient prophecy foretold a traveler who would appear from the void itself!"
E frowned. "Okay, but did the prophecy also say the traveler would have zero interest in your nonsense?"
The knight completely ignored that.
"Come, Great One! The King must see you immediately!"
Before E could protest, they dragged him away.
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3. King Exposition Dumps on Me
E found himself in a giant throne room with a very tired-looking king.
The king sighed.
"So. You are the Chosen One."
E crossed his arms. "Am I? Because your tutorial box said otherwise."
The king waved him off.
"The tutorial boxes lie sometimes."
E narrowed his eyes. "Wait, hold on. Are you saying this world has—"
"ENOUGH QUESTIONS!"
The king clapped his hands, and a map appeared in front of E.
"Behold, the Evil Lord's castle!"
E glanced at it. "Wow. That's literally labeled 'Evil Lord's Castle.' Not even trying to be subtle, huh?"
The king pretended not to hear that.
"You must venture forth and defeat him!"
E sighed. "Listen, I appreciate the effort, but I'm not interested."
The king's eye twitched.
"NOT INTERESTED?!"
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4. The Kingdom Bribes Me
The king took a deep breath.
"Fine. What will it take to convince you?"
E smirked. "Oh? We're negotiating now?"
The king sighed. "If I must."
E leaned forward.
"Alright. I want a legendary sword, infinite gold, and ownership of this castle."
The king waved his hand. A glowing sword, a pile of gold, and a deed to the castle appeared.
E blinked. "...Oh. That was easy."
The king smirked.
"Now you HAVE to be the Chosen One."
E picked up the deed and inspected it.
It read:
"By signing this, you agree to take full responsibility for the Evil Lord problem. No refunds."
E groaned. "Oh, you sneaky little—"
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5. The Evil Lord Is Also Having a Bad Day
Meanwhile, at the Evil Lord's Castle, a dark-robed figure sat on his throne, reading a weekly villain magazine.
A skeleton servant walked in.
"My Lord, the Chosen One has arrived."
The Evil Lord looked up.
"Ugh. Already? I just sat down."
The skeleton hesitated.
"There's… something strange about this one."
The Evil Lord raised an eyebrow.
"Strange how?"
The skeleton shuffled nervously.
"He's… um… negotiating with the kingdom instead of preparing to fight you."
The Evil Lord sighed.
"Oh great. Another one of THOSE."
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6. I Get an Invitation to the Villains' Club
Back at the castle, E was still inspecting his new property.
Then, out of nowhere, a messenger bat flew in and dropped a black envelope in his hands.
A new tutorial box appeared.
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[YOU HAVE RECEIVED AN INVITATION TO THE SECRET SOCIETY OF VILLAINS.]
[WOULD YOU LIKE TO ATTEND THE NEXT MEETING?]
[YES] / [ABSOLUTELY]
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E smirked.
"Well, well, well. Looks like I have options."
The king saw the letter and screamed.
"NO! YOU CAN'T JUST SWITCH SIDES!"
E shrugged. "Listen, if the villains are offering a better deal, that's just smart business."
The king facepalmed.
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7. So… Hero or Villain?
E had a decision to make.
Be the "Chosen One" and deal with a kingdom that will probably betray him later?
Join the Evil Lord's club and see what kind of employee benefits they offer?
Or…
Play both sides until he wins everything?
E grinned.
"Why not all three?"
A new quest popped up.
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[NEW OBJECTIVE: BECOME BOTH THE HERO AND THE VILLAIN AT THE SAME TIME.]
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This was going to be fun.
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