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Previously on The Story of E
The King tried to quit but found out he was a tourist attraction.
The General got his war… in the form of a battle reenactment.
The High Priest attempted to quit religion, but E made it a bureaucratic nightmare.
The economy evolved into a fully legalized corruption simulator.
E continues to be the world's most efficient scam artist.
And now… let's see how much worse this can get.
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1. The High Priest Declares His New Faith
The High Priest stood on the temple steps, addressing the public.
"My brothers and sisters! I have spent my life in devotion, waiting for divine signs. And what did I receive? NOTHING! I am done! Religion is a SCAM!"
The crowd gasped.
The High Priest took a deep breath.
"From this day forward, I will devote myself to something real! Something true! Something I can SEE!"
E leaned over. "So… you're saying you worship money now?"
The High Priest nodded solemnly.
"Yes. I shall become the first High Priest of Capitalism."
The Merchant Guild erupted into applause.
The King buried his face in his hands.
"Oh gods… what have we done."
E patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll make a religion tax for the temple. More revenue!"
The High Priest nodded in approval.
The King felt his soul leave his body.
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2. The General Becomes a Pop Star
The General stormed into the throne room.
"E! I need to talk!"
E sipped his drink. "What's up, General?"
"WHY AM I ON A POSTER WEARING A SPARKLY CAPE?!"
E grinned. *"Oh, that? Congratulations! You're the new star of 'Battle Idol: War for the Stage!'"
The General stared blankly.
"…What."
E tossed a promotional flyer at him.
The flyer showed the General, dramatically posing with a microphone in one hand and a sword in the other.
"Sing for victory! Fight for fame! Every battle is a performance! Featuring the number-one hit single: 'Crush Thy Enemies in C Minor'!"
The General began shaking.
"I. DO NOT. SING."
E leaned in. "You do now."
The General threw himself out the nearest window.
The tourists cheered.
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3. The King Tries (and Fails) to Escape
The King packed a small bag and tiptoed through the palace.
He reached the gates, only for the guards to stop him.
"Halt! Entry fee required!"
The King blinked. "What?"
The guards pointed at a sign.
"Welcome to the Royal Palace™! Please enjoy your stay! Exit Fee: 500 Gold."
The King felt something snap.
"EXIT. FEE?"
E strolled in. "Yup. We can't have people just leaving. That'd ruin the tourism industry."
The King threw his bag down.
"I AM THE KING! I REFUSE TO PAY TO LEAVE MY OWN CASTLE!"
E smirked.
"Ah, but are you really the king?"
The King froze.
"…What?"
E pulled out a scroll.
"Based on recent economic developments, public perception, and the fact that you have absolutely no real power… you've technically been downgraded to 'Royal Consultant.'"
The King stared.
"You… FIRED ME FROM MY OWN KINGDOM?!"
E nodded. "Oh, don't be dramatic. You still get a pension."
The King screamed into the void.
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4. The Economy Evolves Again
The Merchant Guild hosted another meeting.
"Gentlemen, I am proud to announce the next evolution of our economy!"
The Merchant Guild Leader held up a document.
"We have officially invented… STOCKS!"
The room exploded into applause.
The King was pale. "What… what does that mean?"
E grinned. "It means people can now gamble on the economy itself. Beautiful, isn't it?"
The King rubbed his temples.
"So we're just… making up value now?"
E patted his back. "That's capitalism, baby."
The High Priest nodded sagely.
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5. The General Tries to Escape His Pop Star Career
The General hid in an alleyway, panting.
He had been on the run for two days.
The posters were everywhere.
Tourists hunted for his autograph.
A bard walked by, singing:
"O mighty General, warrior divine! In battle and song, he doth SHINE!"
The General let out a strangled sob.
E suddenly appeared. "There you are!"
The General backed away. "NO. I REFUSE. I AM NOT A POP STAR!"
E held up a contract.
"Actually, you are. You signed it two chapters ago. Remember?"
The General grabbed the contract.
His eyes widened.
It was… HIS handwriting.
"WHAT?! WHEN DID I—"
E whispered.
"You were drunk."
The General collapsed to his knees.
"…No."
The tourists found him.
They cheered.
The General was dragged off to his next concert.
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6. E Addresses the Audience Again
E turned to the reader.
"And so, the kingdom thrives. The economy flourishes. The entertainment industry booms. And I, your humble protagonist, continue to scam everyone in broad daylight."
The King threw a shoe at him.
"STOP TALKING TO THEM!"
E dodged effortlessly.
"No."
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