The Story of E – Chapter 17: The Infinite Loop of Bad Decisions
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Previously on The Story of E
The Former King lost his kingdom to democracy (which he accidentally voted for).
The General became the world's first publicly traded military idol.
The High Priest declared a holy war on sales tax.
The economy evolved into NFT-based despair trading.
E refused to stop talking to the audience.
And now, we continue the glorious descent into madness.
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1. The Former King Attempts a Coup (Again)
The Former King stood on a balcony, dramatically addressing his remaining loyalists.
"Brothers! Sisters! The time has come to restore the monarchy!"
The crowd cheered.
Then someone raised a hand.
"Uh… Sir, didn't you vote against yourself?"
The Former King twitched.
"That was a mistake!"
The loyalist nodded.
"So if we vote for you again, will you vote against yourself again?"
The Former King froze.
"…No?"
The loyalist tilted his head.
"That sounded like a question, sir."
E sipped his ever-present drink.
"See? This is why I keep winning. You guys keep thinking democracy is optional."
The Former King screamed into a pillow.
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2. The General's Escape Plan (Fails Immediately)
The General had had enough.
He packed his bags, disguised himself as a merchant, and boarded the first ship out of the kingdom.
Freedom! Finally! No more concerts! No more stock market nonsense!
He sighed in relief… until he saw the ship's name.
"E-CORP OFFICIAL CRUISE."
The General froze.
A voice behind him spoke.
"Oh, hey General. Running away?"
The General turned around slowly.
E stood there, smiling.
The General screamed and jumped overboard.
E sipped his drink.
"I admire his dedication."
The Captain walked by.
"Sir, should we rescue him?"
E shrugged.
"Nah. Give it ten minutes. He'll wash up back in the capital somehow."
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3. The Holy Crusade Against Sales Tax (Turns Into a MLM Scheme)
The High Priest stood at the temple, explaining his new plan.
"Brothers and sisters! The enemy is strong! But we have a way to fight back!"
The crowd leaned in.
"Instead of paying sales tax… we should charge others for avoiding sales tax!"
The crowd tilted their heads.
"So… we pay each other?"
The High Priest nodded.
"Yes! And if you recruit three more people, you earn divine blessings!"
The Former King rubbed his temples.
"So you're saying… we have a 'pyramid' of payments."
The High Priest beamed.
"Yes! But let's call it a 'Holy Triangle.'"
The Former King turned to E.
"Is… is this legal?"
E grinned.
"It is if you call it religion."
The Former King screamed again.
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4. The Economy Evolves (Again. AGAIN.)
The Merchant Guild called for another emergency meeting.
"Gentlemen! We have reached the peak of capitalism!"
The Former King held up a sign.
"NO MORE PLEASE."
The Merchant Guild ignored him.
"Introducing… TIME STOCKS!"
The Former King twitched.
"…Time stocks?"
E nodded.
"Yes. People can now invest in each other's future potential."
The Former King rubbed his eyes.
"So… you're saying people can buy someone's future?"
"Exactly!"
The General stumbled into the room, dripping wet from the ocean.
"WHO THE HELL SOLD MY FUTURE?!"
The Merchant Guild raised their hands.
"It was a great deal! You were undervalued!"
The General fell to his knees.
"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!"
The Former King looked at E.
"What even happens if someone runs out of time stocks?"
E shrugged.
"They get repossessed."
The Former King blinked.
"…By who?"
E just smiled.
Somewhere, a distant clock started ticking ominously.
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5. E Breaks the Fourth Wall Again
E turned to the reader.
"And so, dear audience, our lovely world continues its beautiful cycle of madness."
"Our Former King? Still suffering."
The Former King threw a book at E.
"STOP THIS!"
"The General? Still escaping."
The General broke through a window.
"I AM NOT YOUR PROPERTY!"
"The High Priest? A full-time scam artist."
The High Priest held up a 'HOLY TRIANGLE MEMBERSHIP' sign.
"Salvation costs only 99 gold per month!"
"And me?"
E sipped his drink.
"Still rich."
The Former King collapsed.
"I hate you so much."
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