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Previously on The Story of E
The Former King tried to sue reality and lost.
E revealed the Terms of Service for Existence.
The General learned his personal skills are now NFTs.
The High Priest successfully rebranded religion… again.
E proved, once again, that arguing against him is a waste of time.
And now, we present… the legendary debate that should never have happened.
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1. The Emergency Meeting (Because No One Learns)
"We need to stop him."
The Former King slammed his hands on the table.
The General raised an eyebrow.
"Stop him from what?"
The Former King froze.
"… I don't know yet, but he needs to be stopped!"
The High Priest adjusted his robes.
"I must agree. He has manipulated reality, bent the laws of nature, and somehow turned basic logic into a profit-generating scam."
The General nodded.
"He made a stock market for time."
The Former King growled.
"He literally won a lawsuit against REALITY. That's not supposed to happen!"
The High Priest stood up.
"Then it's settled. We will hold a debate and prove that he is, in fact, WRONG!"
The room went silent.
Then the General spoke.
"Do any of us actually know how to win a debate?"
The Former King blinked.
"…How hard can it be?"
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2. The Debate Begins (Instant Regret)
The debate hall was packed. The audience, the scholars, the philosophers… and that one guy who just wanted free snacks.
E leaned back in his chair.
"So. What's today's topic?"
The High Priest stood proudly.
"We are here to debate the very foundations of common sense!"
E raised an eyebrow.
"Why?"
The Former King slammed the table.
"BECAUSE YOU KEEP BREAKING IT!"
E nodded.
"Ah. That's fair."
The Judge (who somehow got involved again) cleared his throat.
"Very well. The rules are simple. Each side will argue for or against common sense. At the end, the audience will vote on the winner."
The High Priest smirked.
"E, you stand alone against centuries of wisdom and rational thought. What say you?"
E grinned.
"I say your 'wisdom' once declared tomatoes were poisonous and that bathing was dangerous."
The High Priest froze.
"I… I mean, yes, but—"
E pointed at the General.
"And your 'rational thought' once said that wearing metal armor in a lightning storm was a GREAT idea."
The General turned pale.
"…We don't talk about that."
E clapped his hands.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case."
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3. The Desperate Comeback (Or Lack Thereof)
The Former King gritted his teeth.
"You can't just dismiss all of history with sarcasm!"
E nodded.
"Fine. Let's test common sense right now."
He turned to the audience.
"Question: If you saw a button that said 'Do Not Press', would you press it?"
The audience muttered.
The High Priest smiled.
"Of course not! That would be foolish!"
E snapped his fingers.
A large red button appeared on the debate table.
It glowed ominously.
The General stared at it.
"…What happens if we press it?"
E grinned.
"No one knows."
The Former King twitched.
"Then DON'T PRESS IT!"
The room went silent.
The General was sweating.
The High Priest was shaking.
The Former King was gripping his chair.
E leaned back.
"Oh wow. Look at all that common sense at work."
The General reached for the button.
The Former King slapped his hand away.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
The General looked ashamed.
"I just… I just wanted to know."
E nodded.
"And that, my dear opponents, is why common sense is a lie. Curiosity always wins."
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4. The Audience Votes (Predictably)
The Judge sighed.
"Audience, cast your votes."
The room went silent.
Then…
E won.
Again.
The Former King collapsed.
"I hate this place."
The General sighed.
"We're never beating him, are we?"
The High Priest shook his head.
"No. No, we are not."
E stood up and dusted off his coat.
"Well, that was fun. See you all at next week's debate!"
The Former King screamed into his hands.
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5. E Breaks the Fourth Wall Again
E turned to the reader.
"And so, once again, I have proven that arguing with me is pointless."
"The Former King? Still in denial."
The Former King was already planning next week's argument.
"The General? Considering a career change."
The General looked at a job listing.
"Mercenary work sounds less stressful."
"The High Priest? About to rebrand again."
The High Priest held up a new sign.
"HOLY TRIANGLE 3.0: NOW WITH FIREPROOF SACRIFICES!"
"And me?"
E grinned.
"Still undefeated."
The Former King screamed louder.
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