The Story of E – Chapter 21: The Lawsuit Against Reality (A 10/10 Legal Drama)
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Previously on The Story of E
E monetized memories.
The Treasury Minister retired (trauma included).
The Former King became an investor.
The High Priest started selling forgiveness on a subscription plan.
The General quit to become a mercenary.
And someone erased the memory of understanding taxes.
Naturally, chaos ensued.
Now, we move on to... the inevitable legal consequences.
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1. The Court of Reality (Now in Session, Against Its Will)
"All rise for the Honorable Judge… uh… Reality?"
A cosmic, glowing figure sat at the judge's podium, looking extremely done with existence.
"We are here today for the case of Reality vs. E. The plaintiff, Reality, claims that the defendant, E, has broken fundamental laws of existence."
The courtroom was packed.
On one side: Reality's legal team—made up of Fate, Destiny, and Common Sense (barely alive).
On the other side: E.
And… well. That was it.
"Defendant, state your name."
E grinned.
"E."
The judge sighed.
"Your full name?"
E leaned forward.
"E."
Reality looked at the court clerk.
"Write down: 'Uncooperative Smartass.'"
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2. The Charges (And E's Lack of Concern)
Fate stood up.
"Your Honor, the defendant is charged with the following crimes against reality:"
1. Illegally introducing a new economy.
2. Selling personal experiences like trading cards.
3. Causing the Treasury Minister to have a breakdown.
4. Making the Former King financially competent.
5. Breaking the fourth wall at least 17 times.
E raised a hand.
"Correction: It's 18."
Destiny sighed.
"Your Honor, Exhibit A—E literally privatized human emotions. He sold 'the joy of petting a dog' for 50,000 credits!"
Reality looked at E.
"Your response?"
E shrugged.
"Some people don't like dogs. I made a market."
Common Sense fainted.
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3. The Star Witness (Who Is a Disaster)
"The court calls its first witness: The Treasury Minister."
The Treasury Minister shuffled in.
His hands were shaking. His hair was gone. His sanity? Questionable.
"Sir, can you describe the impact of E's actions?"
The Treasury Minister trembled.
"Your Honor… I… I saw things. I saw people SELLING their first kisses like NFTs. I saw someone AUCTION OFF their ability to feel guilt. I watched someone buy 'The Thrill of Committing a Crime' for research purposes!"
The court gasped.
Reality rubbed its temples.
"Defendant, do you deny these accusations?"
E grinned.
"Of course not. The free market is a beautiful thing."
The Treasury Minister screamed.
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4. The Defense (Or Lack Thereof)
"Defendant, do you have ANY actual defense?"
E stood up.
"Your Honor, let me ask you a question."
Reality sighed.
"This is highly irregular, but fine. Proceed."
E pointed at the audience.
"How many of you would sell your worst memory for a better one?"
The court fell silent.
Then, one by one… hands went up.
Destiny gasped.
"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS."
E smirked.
"See? Reality is overrated."
Reality closed its eyes.
"I need a vacation."
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5. The Verdict (Or Reality Gives Up)
After six hours of existential debate, Reality finally delivered the verdict.
"The court finds the defendant… annoying."
E nodded.
"Understandable."
"But not guilty."
Fate choked.
"WHAT?!"
Reality rubbed its temples.
"Look, I tried. But the defendant somehow convinced half the jury that memories should be a legally tradable asset. I give up."
The Treasury Minister wept.
The Former King high-fived E.
The High Priest started offering 'Memory Cleansing Services' at a discount.
And E?
"Well, that was fun. What's next?"
The General stood up.
"Oh, you're going to LOVE this. Someone just tried to sell their entire personality."
E grinned.
"Ah. Now we're getting creative."
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6. E Breaks the Fourth Wall Again
E turned to the reader.
"So, what did we learn today?"
"That the legal system is a joke?"
"That you CAN, in fact, sell existential dread?"
"That the Treasury Minister should probably be hospitalized?"
"Yes. But more importantly…"
E grinned.
"Would you sell who you are for a fresh start?"
The screen glitched.
A prompt appeared:
[ACCEPT TRANSACTION: "Your Entire Personality" – 1 Million Credits?]
[YES] [NO]
The Treasury Minister screamed one last time.
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