24.

His head was still on my lap.

Was it my Lexie?

I still cannot fathom how that boy turned into this man.

Was it because of me? No, that can't be! I was not that important. We were only acquainted for a few days. But then I did fall in love with him too.

But he is now successful and handsome man. He has the world under his feet. He would have definitely moved on. He may not have the same passion now. To him, I am just a betrayer. A cheater ,a fraud.

To be honest, I could not think of him after a few weeks. The situation changed and I was trying to survive. At night,I would remember him and cry myself to sleep. But as days gre by and with the responsibilities, I got less time to sleep and even lesser time to think about him .

But this would explain why I was strangely attracted to him? Why he felt warm and comfortable more than hot and sexy? Why I felt the feelings?Maybe or maybe not.

I never forgave myself for leaving without a word. I tried to console myself by thinking he would be over it. He would move on. I was wrong.

Is this a chance for me to right my wrongs? Can I ask forgiveness now? Will he accept? No he wouldn't. Maybe I can explain to him what happened? He may think of it as an excuse.

I want to hug him again . I want to kiss him . Give him my entire being. I want to beg for forgiveness. I want to hold him tight. I want to tell him I am sorry. I want to tell him I love him.

"Lexie,I-"

"How dare you call me that?" He got up from my lap and grabbed my cheeks.

"I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry." I felt like a broken tape recorder.

"You are sorry? You know what I have been through. Do you know how it feels like to be betrayed?"

"I-"

"And now you think a sorry will cut it? A fucking sorry? By the likes of you?"

His words cut my heart. It stung a lot but I deserved it.It's my fault.No matter what the reason,I disappeared from his life. Now all would sound like excuses.

He did love me,didn't he? If he hated me now so much,it means he did love me as much as I did.

I was filled with overwhelming emotions. I wanted to say something but I couldn't say a word. Tears were already streaming down my face. I wanted to touch him. I lifted my hand to touch his face.

He swatted my hand away. It stung a little.

"You used me. I was used. If you didn't love me then why did you do all those things? You had me fooled then? What was it all for? Money? Or was it some game? Or is it because you would sleep with anyone or anything?"

I slapped him before I could think.

"What? Sleep with anyone? What do you know? Why do you care? You don't even want to listen to me." I felt a bit angry. What does he think of me? I have only slept with him until now. That was my first time.

"What excuse do you want to give?"

"If you hated me so much, why hire me?" I cut him off right there. I wanted to know this.

He knew who I was from the start. He still hired me. And although he looked a bit guarded, he has never been like this before. He never asked too many personal question and he treated me like I didn't even exist.

"Oh you want to know the truth? I hired you because I wanted to see how great your life has been? But all I could see was a few part time jobs,no education. Is this why you left?"

"Are you happy then? Seeing my life fall apart. Then why did you hire me? You see,this very job was what I needed. And unknowingly,you helped me out." I mocked him.

He would have been happy to see me in ruins but unknowingly he did help me out.

"Oh you don't understand,I wanted to hire you and torture you. Treat you like dirt."

"Oh then,why were you nice to me. Hell, you even walked on the beach with me?"

I can't get him. He wanted to torture me but post the initial days he has always been nice to me.

Thinking about that, calmed me down. He is not telling the truth.

"You want to know the truth? Because when you were in front of me,I couldn't bring to hate you. Whatever I wanted to do with you, I just couldn't. I was torturing myself instead."

It was torture for him when I am by his side. I felt a sting in my heart. I didn't want him to be in pain anymore.

"Why don't you fire me? No wait. I will quit. Once I am back, I will hand in my resignation tomorrow."

Although, I was desperately in need of this job ,it was not correct to be by his side after all this. Seeing him hurt me. Beg for forgiveness? What can I do? I was even ready to lick his feet of it meant being next to him. Not next to Alexander Blackwell but to Lexie.

But if he is in pain with just by my presence,I should stay away. I don't want to hurt him anymore.

"Typical Dylan. Disappear when its convenient. Leave people to deal with the aftermath. Run away like a coward." His voice was mocking me.

But he was right. I would be running away again. I don't want to do that anymore. I want to be near him. Let him calm down until he hears my reason. But it won't be easy. I will have to make him listen to me. There is one way. I have made up my mind.

"Then I won't run away. I will face it. I will face you. You said you wanted to torture me right. Let's do it then. I will take it . I will show you I am loyal and that I had my reasons that day."

"What do you mean?" He asked . I could make out he was confused.

"You said it was a game for me right? It wasn't . I loved you then I love you now. I am ready to take whatever you tell me. Do you want me to lick your feet I will do that. I am desperate for this job but right now I am more desperate to prove to you that I am your dog. So do what you want, I am your slave from now on. Whatever you throw at me,I will take it. And then once you believe me ,I will tell you my reason."

I looked him in the eye with all my determination. I knew what I was getting into. But I chose this. If there is one thing I realized today,its that I still love him madly. I would do anything for him. I still have my problems but I will deal with it later. Being next to him would also mean I will have my job. Its a win win situation.

After a moment ,his face had a serious look. I could feel him calculating things in his head.

"Anything?"

"Anything."

I knew it them. This would be actual torture.

But if it's him, then I am more than willing to lay my life out.