End of Everything (Intro) - Epilogue

So, to finally put this story to an end, in the end, I was incapable of doing anything. Olympia and Kumiko made up on their own. I don't get how their issue became absolved, but as long as it was, that's all that matters.

"So, Kiyomi-chan, in the end, you didn't do anything," says Kagami. "This problem, this chapter, concludes with you simply existing. But maybe that was enough. You didn't actively save anyone, but in the end, everyone is still alive, even you. 

"Can you say something, please? Let's not end this volume without you uttering a single word in the end. Are you tired of me saying, 'The end'? I'll refrain from continuing to do so for this epilogue.

"Sorry about that. I doubt that readers who remain want to hear a single thing from me from this point onward. You're right, in the end, I didn't do anything to help. I'm weak, useless. I can't do anything. I'm—"

"Please refrain from belittling yourself. We all know that you're acts of self-loathing only serve to make you feel better. I'm so weak. I'm so useless. Please, oh please, pity me. Feel bad for me. Tell me that this isn't true. Tell me this while I do nothing to make myself a better person. Does this remind you of anyone?"

…

Is this how I am? All I do is complain about how pathetic I am, yet I don't take any action to make myself a better person.

"Do you know where we are, Kiyomi? We're at the bleachers where you returned from death, with Olympia waiting for you. Right? I find it impressive that you made whoever's listening believe that that's how your Joke works. Can we tell them the truth? It's the finale; they deserve to know."

…

"Shouldn't we tell them what the White World is? It's the place where you go while you wait for the universe to reset. And once it does and you're born again, you remain there, and only come back once you want to. In other words, you only come back when you meet Olympia at the bleachers. In other words, you live you're life in a dissociated state until you meet Olympia at the bleachers. Disconnected from everything, only reconnecting when you want to. What an easy life that must be. If you're not there, you can't get hurt, right? But why did you come back? You could live in the White World, in a dissociated state, for all of your existence, yet you chose not to. Why? Is it because of Olympia? Is she worth living for? Or should I ask, is she the only reason you choose to live? A girl you barely know. A girl you just met. A girl who viewed you as a coward. 

"I'm sure that all the Olympias, obviously including the initial one, viewed you as a coward. I'm certain the Olympia of this world currently views you as a coward. The show you made was not a pretty one. I cringe thinking about how much you bawled your eyes out in front of her. That was her first real impression of you."

"I don't care if I'm a coward. It was my cowardice that led to this happy ending."

"Happy ending? Do you think that's what this is? Seriously? Look at yourself and think about that again. Also, do you seriously want to take credit for the work that Olympia and Kumiko did? Their relationship isn't perfect, it never was, and never will be. But they'll always work together to try to expand their world; that's the weight of God, just not as infinite. I do wonder, however, if Kumiko will ever admit her true feelings for Olympia? I'm surprised she didn't confess her romantic love for her in the end, like a typical anime would. But I guess that wasn't the root of the problem. 

"Hey, while we're at it, can I reveal the truth of another lie that you told whomever is listening?

"Go ahead. I have nothing left to lose."

"Perfect!" Kagami claps her hands together with a smile that I don't know the reasoning of. Or maybe I do. Who knows? "You're first death was that really by my hands? You described it as if I plunged the knife into you, but I've never killed anyone in my life. You made it seem like the time gap between the end of your conversation with Olympia and when I first approached you was short and instantaneous, but it wasn't. You sat there, waiting for something to happen, for quite a while, too. During that period, I was able to find an Olympia lying dead on the floor, with a knife on the ground. Sure, I brought the knife along with me as I went to where you were waiting. I had a knife on me, but I'm not the one who killed you. You left this part out, but I threw the knife on the ground towards the end of our conversation.

"I wasn't the one who killed you.

"Now, how about the second death you faced? The one where Olympia and I both go to the restroom, and you find the two of us dead. It was smart of you to say that I was one of the bodies that were dead inside the bathroom. But I was never in there. Sure, I went to the restroom, but I felt gross going at the same time as Olympia (I feel like she never liked me much), so I waited outside for her to finish, and around that time, Kumiko went inside with something sharp in her hands. I'm sure we can both infer what went down in there. After she, Kumiko, I mean, exited the restroom, she didn't come out with a knife in her hand. And once you went into the restroom, looking for the two of us, you didn't come out of the restroom.

"Kumiko wasn't the one who killed you.

"Finally, how about the third and final death you faced? That one's probably a little simpler to solve. Olympia died, you found her dead body, you grabbed the knife and plunged it into her, and we all know what happens after that.

"It wasn't any of us who killed you.

"You're a pretty half-assed liar, but you did the best that you could. Maybe if you had a heart, you would have been able to do something. Maybe you would have been able to change something. Maybe you would have been able to change someone. Maybe you would have been able to change.

"In the end, nothing and no one has changed.

"Or maybe they have.

"Perhaps you're the only one who hasn't bothered to change.

"What a heartless story this was.

"Well, that's all I've got to say to you, you half-assed, heartless.

"Smell you later—"

And like that, she leaves—

The only person who's left is me. I'm sorry that you're stuck with me. But, at the end of this story, even though nothing and no one has changed, I've learned something:

All problems can be solved by sitting on your ass and crying.

Wait—

That's not true.

Even though their conflict wasn't fully resolved, Olympia and Kumiko put in effort to try and fix their problem. I don't know their full story. I'm certain there's plenty that I don't know. Have I even scratched the surface?

What have I been doing this whole time?

None of this feels real. I've grown too accustomed to the absurdity of this story. Will anything ever change?

I'm sorry I couldn't do much—

I'm sorry I couldn't save anyone—

I'm sorry, I couldn't even save myself—

This Story doesn't matter, not the slightest bit.

I doubt that I'll end up sharing this with anyone.

Maybe I'll delete everything right before I hit upload.

This Story doesn't matter much—

This has been one big, terrible Joke—

Thank you for reading—

Maybe in the future, something, someone, and maybe even I will change—

After all that's happened, I'd like to believe that there's hope for someone like me.

Hope for someone like me to change.

I'll keep treading along, one step at a time, towards a life I can be happy with.

I'm far from being happy, but if this Joke permits, I'll continue forging on.

That is how I'll punish myself for being so weak.

Thank you—

Please believe that even I can change—