Chapter 5: "Welcome Back, Forever-F-Rank!"
I was not ready for this.
The rescue team had dragged me out of the dungeon after what felt like an eternity of public humiliation.
The walk back to the capital was hell.
Because—of course—everyone had questions.
Garret: "So, Eldric, when's the wedding?"
Kara: "Are we invited? Or is it a secret demon-only event?"
Reina: "Shut up. This is serious."
Seraphina: (Taking notes.)
I wanted to disappear.
And then—
As soon as we reached the massive gates of the capital…
The real nightmare began.
---
The adventurer's guild was PACKED.
News had spread faster than wildfire.
By the time we arrived, half the guild was already waiting for us outside the entrance.
And the moment I stepped into view—
"OIII, IT'S THE GROOM!"
CHEERS. LAUGHTER. SHOUTING.
Adventurers pounded their mugs on tables, hollering.
Some threw petals in the air.
Someone even played a lute.
I stared in horror.
"…What the hell happened while I was gone!?"
---
Garret grinned, slapping my back.
"Oh, buddy."
He leaned in, smirking.
"Your legend has already begun."
I wanted to die.
---
And then I noticed something.
Velzaria, who had been walking beside me the entire time, was… different.
I blinked.
Had she always looked this… regal?
She still had the same ethereal beauty, but—something had changed.
Her long black hair no longer had that unnatural, flowing mist-like effect.
Her battle robes had softened into a long, noble-looking dress, still black with embroidered sigils, but much more fitting for someone of high status rather than a warlord.
Her form radiated elegance rather than raw destruction.
But—
The aura around her still carried an undeniable weight.
A presence that no normal human could have.
An aura that made people uneasy without knowing why.
She was beautiful, noble, and terrifying—all at once.
And I hadn't even noticed when she changed.
---
The guild adventurers had definitely noticed, though.
I could feel the unspoken tension in the air.
Despite all the laughing and teasing, despite the mugs being raised in celebration, not a single person had gotten too close to her.
They were keeping a distance.
Not consciously, perhaps.
But instinctively.
Like their bodies were warning them that something wasn't right.
And yet, because she looked so composed and noble, no one knew what to make of it.
---
Seraphina, standing beside Reina, calmly took notes.
"Subject Velzaria exhibits controlled transformation capabilities. Current form optimized for human interaction. Aura suppression incomplete—residual effects causing subconscious unease in surrounding subjects."
She clicked her pen.
"Fascinating."
---
I whipped around to Reina.
"You were supposed to contain this!" I hissed.
She rubbed her temples.
"We tried," she muttered. "Then someone overheard Garret telling a barmaid about it—"
"—AND THEN IT SPREAD LIKE A PLAGUE!" Garret laughed proudly.
I wanted to strangle him.
---
And then, as if things couldn't get worse…
A group of heavily armored guild staff approached.
And behind them?
The guild master.
My stomach dropped.
---
The guild master, a massive, grizzled man with a scar across his cheek, stepped forward.
He folded his arms, glaring down at me.
"So," he rumbled. "You finally did something noteworthy, huh?"
I gulped.
"…It's not what it looks like."
The entire guild burst into laughter.
---
Garret grinned.
"Oh, I dunno. It kinda looks exactly like what it looks like."
The guild master raised an eyebrow.
"So? Gonna introduce us to your bride?"
I choked.
Velzaria, who had stood quietly beside me this whole time, finally spoke.
She stepped forward gracefully, her presence commanding immediate attention.
"I am Velzaria," she said smoothly.
Her crimson gaze swept across the room.
"A traveler. And the fated one of Eldric Vayne."
Silence.
Then—
Someone spit out their drink.
Another person collapsed laughing.
And Garret actually had to sit down to breathe.
---
I buried my face in my hands.
"This is a nightmare."
Reina sighed heavily.
Seraphina wrote another note.
Garret wheezed.
"Oh, buddy," he laughed. "This is just the beginning."
---
I needed to fix this.
Immediately.
Somehow.
Even though every second that passed only made things worse.
---
"Listen!" I shouted, raising my hands. "This is a huge misunderstanding!"
Velzaria, standing gracefully beside me, smiled slightly.
The guild was not buying it.
Garret, still wheezing from laughter, clapped my back.
"Oh, Eldric. Buddy." He wiped a tear from his eye. "This is so much worse than a misunderstanding."
I wanted to strangle him.
---
Reina crossed her arms, her expression deadly serious.
"Alright," she said. "Explain."
I gulped.
"Okay! So!" I took a deep breath. "I fell into an uncharted part of the dungeon, almost died, and found a magic rock."
Reina narrowed her eyes.
"Go on."
I swallowed.
"And, uh… while I was on the verge of death, I may have… sarcastically said something about 'loving' it."
Someone snorted.
---
I clenched my fists.
"And THEN, for some reason, she appeared!" I gestured wildly at Velzaria. "And she took that as a real proposal! And now she thinks we're fated together!"
Velzaria, still watching me calmly, chuckled softly.
"You tell the story well," she mused.
I whipped my head toward her.
"IT ISN'T A STORY!"
She simply smirked.
---
Garret leaned toward another adventurer.
"You ever seen someone gaslight themselves into marriage?"
"First time," the guy whispered back.
I ground my teeth.
---
Reina pinched the bridge of her nose.
"So you're telling me," she muttered, "that this all happened because you talked to a rock?"
"YES!"
Silence.
Then—
Garret collapsed laughing.
"Oh gods! It keeps getting funnier!"
---
Seraphina scribbled in her notebook.
"Subject Eldric's credibility is collapsing. Predicting total loss of authority."
She clicked her pen.
"Fascinating."
I wanted to die.
---
Reina exhaled slowly.
"Okay. Let's say I believe you."
She turned to Velzaria.
"And you're just… accepting this?"
Velzaria met her gaze calmly.
"Naturally."
Reina's eye twitched.
"WHY!?"
Velzaria smiled faintly.
"Because it is fate."
Reina took a deep breath.
Then she turned back to me, deadpan.
"You're screwed."
---
I buried my face in my hands.
"This is a nightmare."
Garret patted my back sympathetically.
"Oh, buddy."
He smirked.
"This is just the beginning."
---
The laughter and chaos finally died down as the guild master stepped forward.
The massive, grizzled veteran of countless battles, known for his short temper and brutal honesty, fixed his gaze on me.
He folded his arms, his scarred face unreadable.
I felt every muscle in my body tense.
This was it.
The final verdict.
---
He tilted his head slightly.
"So, let me get this straight," he rumbled.
His voice was deep, slow, and dangerous.
He gestured toward Velzaria.
"This woman—"
He turned his gaze back to me.
"—is your fiancée?"
I froze.
"NO!" I screamed. "IT'S A MISUNDERSTANDING!"
Velzaria, standing elegantly beside me, smiled faintly.
"Yes," she said smoothly.
The entire guild erupted again.
---
The guild master's expression didn't change.
He stared at me.
Then at Velzaria.
Then back at me.
"...Hah."
I gulped.
Then—
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The guild master laughed.
Loud. Booming. Gut-wrenching laughter.
I felt my soul leave my body.
---
The laughter continued for far too long.
I stood rigid, waiting for the inevitable punishment.
Then—suddenly—
His laughter cut off.
He straightened, his face returning to its usual unreadable scowl.
His eyes locked onto mine.
"Alright," he grunted. "Meeting room. Now."
My stomach dropped.
---
The guild master turned on his heel and walked toward the inner guild hall.
His lieutenants followed.
Then, to my absolute horror—
"Velzaria, you too," he added.
Velzaria nodded gracefully.
"As you wish."
I wanted to die.
---
Reina gave me a sympathetic look.
"Good luck," she muttered.
Garret snickered.
"Better start writing your will, buddy."
Seraphina clicked her pen.
"Subject Eldric is now entering a high-risk interrogation scenario. Predicting severe distress."
She looked at me, completely neutral.
"Try not to pass out."
I glared at her.
"I hate you."
She nodded.
"Understood."
---
And just like that—
I was dragged into the meeting room, Velzaria at my side.
And I had no idea if I was walking into my execution…
Or something even worse.
---
I sat rigidly in the meeting room.
Velzaria, seated elegantly beside me, looked completely at ease.
The guild master sat across from us, his scarred face resting in his hands.
The room was silent.
Except for the faint scratching sound of Seraphina writing in her notebook.
"Subject Eldric is now under official investigation. Predicting high levels of suffering."
She clicked her pen.
"Fascinating."
---
The guild master sighed heavily.
"Alright, kid."
He looked up, his sharp eyes locking onto mine.
"You've been in a lot of dumb situations before. But this…"
He gestured toward Velzaria.
"This is a new level of ridiculous."
I shrunk in my seat.
"…I can explain."
---
He leaned forward, folding his hands together.
"Then explain."
I gulped.
"O-okay, so first off—this isn't what it looks like."
His eyebrow twitched.
Garret, who had somehow weaseled his way into the room, snorted.
"Buddy, it looks like you went into a dungeon and came back with a wife."
"I DID NOT COME BACK WITH A WIFE!"
Velzaria, sitting calmly beside me, smiled.
"That is incorrect."
I gritted my teeth.
"YOU'RE NOT HELPING."
---
Reina, standing near the door, sighed.
"Alright, let's keep this simple."
She crossed her arms.
"We need the full story. Every detail."
I gulped.
"...Every detail?"
The guild master's eyes narrowed.
"Every. Detail."
I looked at Velzaria nervously.
She met my gaze, completely unbothered.
Her faint smile didn't disappear.
I swallowed hard.
"…Oh gods, I'm dead."
---
I told them everything.
The fall.
The gemstone.
The sarcastic confession.
Velzaria taking it seriously.
The unbreakable binding that prevented me from dying.
By the time I finished—
The room was completely silent.
---
The guild master rubbed his temples.
"Let me get this straight."
He pointed at me.
"You accidentally confessed to a magic rock."
I winced.
"Technically, yes."
He pointed at Velzaria.
"And she appeared because of it."
Velzaria nodded gracefully.
He let out a long sigh.
"And now she thinks you're fated together?"
Velzaria smiled pleasantly.
"Because we are."
I slammed my forehead against the table.
---
Garret wheezed.
"Oh gods. Oh, buddy. This is worse than I imagined."
I groaned loudly.
"This is a NIGHTMARE!"
Velzaria patted my back comfortingly.
"You will adjust soon."
I wanted to scream.
---
Reina pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Alright. Let's focus on the important part."
She turned to Velzaria.
"You claim to be a 'traveler,' but we still don't know who you really are."
The air shifted slightly.
Velzaria's crimson eyes flickered.
"Is that important?" she asked smoothly.
Reina's grip on her sword tightened.
"Yes," she said firmly.
"If you're staying in the capital, we need to know exactly what you are."
---
I felt the temperature drop.
Velzaria, for the first time, actually seemed…
Annoyed.
Her usual smirk softened, and her gaze grew unreadable.
Then—she smiled faintly.
"You will know when the time is right."
Silence.
The tension in the room grew heavy.
Reina's expression darkened.
The guild master's gaze sharpened.
And I?
I just sank lower into my chair.
---
Seraphina calmly wrote another note.
"Subject Velzaria demonstrates strong resistance to questioning. Predicting future complications."
She clicked her pen.
"Fascinating."
I turned to her, exasperated.
"YOU ARE NOT HELPING!"
She blinked.
"Understood."
And then continued writing.
---
The guild master let out a heavy sigh.
"Alright," he muttered. "This is a mess. But we'll deal with it later."
He turned his gaze back to me.
"For now, you're on watch."
My stomach dropped.
"W-watch!?" I gasped.
He nodded.
"You just walked out of a dungeon with a mysterious woman with unknown powers. Until we know more, you're not leaving our sight."
I felt all my energy drain.
---
Garret grinned.
"So, you're basically under house arrest?"
I glared at him.
"This is NOT funny!"
"It's a little funny."
I hated my life.
---
Velzaria, completely unbothered by any of this, simply stood up.
"Very well," she said smoothly.
She turned to me, her crimson gaze calm.
"Let us return home, fated one."
I froze.
"...Home?"
She nodded.
"You require rest. I shall ensure your comfort."
Garret nearly collapsed laughing.
I wanted to die.
---
The guild master stood.
"We'll talk again soon."
Then, looking at Velzaria, he added:
"And we will be keeping an eye on you."
Velzaria smiled faintly.
"You may try."
The temperature dropped.
I grabbed her wrist immediately.
"OKAY. TIME TO GO. THANK YOU, EVERYONE!"
I dragged her out of the room.
Behind me, I could still hear Garret laughing.
---
I needed to get away from the guild.
Every second I spent outside was another second of humiliation.
With Velzaria walking calmly beside me and Seraphina silently following, I could still hear the muffled laughter from the guild hall.
Garret's final words before I left still echoed in my ears.
"Make sure to pick out a nice house for you and the missus!"
I hated him.
---
Velzaria, walking with her usual regal grace, glanced toward me.
"Where are we going?"
I sighed, dragging my feet.
"To my house."
She tilted her head slightly.
"You own property?"
I snorted.
"Not exactly."
---
After a long, awkward walk, we finally arrived.
I stood in front of my small, barely-held-together house.
It sat at the very edge of the capital, where rent was cheap and the neighbors didn't ask questions.
The roof was slightly crooked.
The door creaked when you opened it.
The windows rattled when it was windy.
I turned to Velzaria and, with all the pride of a man with nothing left to lose, gestured at my home.
"Here it is."
Velzaria stared.
She said nothing.
---
Seraphina clicked her pen.
"Subject Eldric resides in a structurally compromised dwelling. Predicting future collapses."
She looked at me.
"I would not describe this as 'a home.'"
I glared at her.
"STOP TAKING NOTES ON MY SUFFERING!"
She nodded.
"Understood."
And then continued writing.
---
Velzaria's crimson gaze swept across the house once more.
Then, slowly, she spoke.
"...This is unfit for my fated one."
I felt my eye twitch.
"EXCUSE ME!?"
She glanced at me.
"You require a proper dwelling," she said smoothly.
"I HAVE A PROPER DWELLING!" I gestured wildly. "IT HAS WALLS! IT HAS A DOOR!"
The front door creaked ominously.
Velzaria arched an eyebrow.
"Your standards are remarkably low."
I gritted my teeth.
"IT'S FINE!"
---
Velzaria stepped forward, inspecting the door.
She raised a single finger—
And lightly tapped it.
CREEEEAAAAK—CRASH.
The door fell off its hinges.
Silence.
I stared in absolute horror.
---
Garret's words echoed in my head again.
"Pick out a nice house for you and the missus!"
I wanted to die.
---
Seraphina flipped a new page.
"Subject Eldric's residence has suffered immediate failure upon interaction. Predicting further degradation."
She clicked her pen.
"Fascinating."
---
Velzaria turned back to me.
She smiled pleasantly.
"This is unacceptable," she declared.
"IT WAS ACCEPTABLE BEFORE YOU BROKE THE DOOR!"
She ignored my suffering.
---
She walked inside, gracefully stepping over the broken door.
I rushed in after her, panicking.
"Wait, wait, WAIT—YOU CAN'T JUST WALK IN!"
She ignored me, inspecting the interior.
The small wooden table.
The single, lumpy bed.
The rickety old chair I found on the street.
Velzaria stared at it all.
Then turned back to me.
Her expression unreadable.
"This is unworthy of my fated one."
I slammed my hands against my face.
"STOP SAYING THAT!"
---
Velzaria turned toward Seraphina.
She gestured around the room.
"What is your assessment?"
Seraphina glanced around.
She clicked her pen.
"Subject Eldric's living conditions are inadequate. Risk factor: extreme discomfort."
She turned to me.
"You may die of shame before physical harm."
I let out a strangled noise.
---
Velzaria nodded to herself.
"Then it is decided."
I blinked.
"…What is decided?"
She met my gaze.
"We will relocate."
I stared at her.
"RELOCATE!?"
Velzaria smiled faintly.
"I will prepare a more suitable home for us."
I felt my entire soul leave my body.
---
I needed a break.
I needed silence.
I needed to lie down, close my eyes, and pretend today never happened.
Instead—
I had Velzaria standing in my broken doorway, evaluating my home like a landlord deciding if an eviction was necessary.
And behind her, Seraphina calmly taking notes like she was documenting the extinction of my dignity.
I groaned, rubbing my temples.
"Okay. Before we continue… why are YOU still here!?"
I pointed directly at Seraphina.
She blinked.
"To observe," she said simply.
"OBSERVE WHAT!?" I shouted. "MY LIFE FALLING APART!?"
She nodded.
"Precisely."
I clutched my head.
"WHYYYY!?"
---
Seraphina clicked her pen.
"Subject Eldric still refuses to accept observational research. Predicting further resistance."
She looked up, her golden eyes completely neutral.
"It would be illogical to stop now," she said plainly.
I gritted my teeth.
"WHY!?"
She tilted her head.
"You are a rare phenomenon."
I squinted.
"…What does that even mean!?"
She calmly flipped through her notebook.
"Few cases exist of one person generating this much chaos in a single day."
---
I froze.
Something inside me short-circuited.
I blinked rapidly, trying to process her words.
Then—
I crossed my arms, glaring at her.
"You know what?" I muttered. "What now? Are you planning to be my second wife or something?"
Seraphina tilted her head slightly.
She tapped her chin, as if considering.
Then—she smirked.
"Hmm."
She placed a hand over her chest in a dramatic, noble fashion.
"If it is for research, I shall consider it."
I choked.
"YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO JOKE ABOUT THIS!"
She shrugged, completely unfazed.
"But you brought it up."
I felt my entire soul leave my body.
---
Velzaria, standing elegantly nearby, watched the exchange with mild amusement.
Her crimson gaze flickered between us.
"An interesting proposition," she mused.
I snapped my head toward her.
"NO IT IS NOT!"
Velzaria's lips curled into the faintest smirk.
"You display strong reactions to this topic. Curious."
I stomped my foot.
"BECAUSE IT'S INSANE!"
Seraphina tapped her notebook.
"Subject Eldric exhibits intense denial behavior when confronted with hypothetical polygamous scenarios. Predicting further amusement."
She clicked her pen.
"Fascinating."
I let out a strangled scream.
---
Velzaria sighed, returning to inspecting my house.
"This dwelling is unfit for my fated one," she declared.
I whipped around.
"We're back to this again!?"
She nodded.
"We will acquire a more suitable home."
I groaned loudly.
"NO! NO RELOCATING! THIS IS FINE!"
Velzaria glanced at the broken door she had just knocked off its hinges earlier.
Then back at me.
"This is not fine."
---
I clenched my fists.
"Look, I know it's not… fancy, but it's all I can afford!"
Velzaria's expression didn't change.
"I shall cover the cost."
I stared.
"You… what?"
She smiled slightly.
"A home must be worthy of my fated one. That is non-negotiable."
I felt my eye twitch.
"NO! YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A HOUSE!"
Velzaria tilted her head slightly.
"Why not?"
"BECAUSE THAT'S NOT NORMAL!"
---
Seraphina jotted something down.
"Subject Eldric resists financial support from a stronger partner. Predicting prolonged economic struggle."
She looked at me.
"Fascinating."
I let out a pained scream.
---
Velzaria turned toward Seraphina again.
"You agree that this dwelling is inadequate?"
Seraphina nodded.
"Objectively speaking, yes. This house is suboptimal."
"STOP GANGING UP ON ME!"
---
Velzaria's smirk widened.
"Then it is settled."
I felt a cold sweat form.
"…What is settled?"
Velzaria met my gaze.
"I shall build a new home for us."
I froze.
Then slowly—very slowly—I turned toward Seraphina.
"Please," I whispered. "Talk some sense into her."
Seraphina paused.
Then, after a moment, she replied.
"No."
I collapsed to my knees.
---
Velzaria gently touched my shoulder.
"Rest, fated one," she said softly. "By tomorrow, all will be prepared."
I felt my soul leave my body.
"This is a nightmare."
Garret's words echoed in my head once more.
"Pick out a nice house for you and the missus!"
I wanted to cry.
---