ThezytheReborn

Look, I didn’t ask to be reincarnated.

And I definitely didn’t ask to be the early-game villain in some dumb otome game.

But here I am—Leon Aster, the guy who’s supposed to get his a** kicked by the heroine before the story even really starts.

Yeah, no. F*ck that.

I bailed before the plot could kill me, planning to live a quiet, stress-free life. But now?

✔ A god is watching me for entertainment.
✔ A talking sword won’t shut up.
✔ The strongest villainess in the game is on a one-way trip to going insane.
✔ And my system keeps throwing me into life-or-death quests I never signed up for.

I just wanted to relax.

Instead, I’m over here saving the world, one bad decision at a time.

Because if I have to suffer through this stupid otome game—

I might as well make it fun.

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This novel is full of profanity so if you don't like cursing then ignore this one.

Screw you Otome Game!I'm outta here!

A Normal Afternoon… Until the Bullsh*t Starts

I was minding my own business, sitting in a quiet café, sipping on some overpriced tea, when I heard a familiar voice.

I had been carefully avoiding her for the past few weeks, and now—here she was.

Across from her sat a handsome blond guy, the typical noble prince type. The main love interest of the game.

And I knew exactly what scene this was.

Not because of the sound—nah, she had a nice laugh. But because I recognized the damn moment.

One of the "iconic" romance events from the game.

And I knew it because my sister lost her damn mind over it.

Flashback: My Sister's Screaming Obsession

I was sitting on the couch, minding my own business, while my sister played this otome game.

"AHHHH! IT'S HAPPENING! IT'S HAPPENING!" she shrieked.

I had almost thrown my phone across the room. "What the f*ck is happening?!"

She pointed at the screen, eyes shining. "Seria and Julius! THE CAFÉ SCENE! THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!"

On the screen, Seria sat across from Julius, blushing like an idiot as he gently wiped some cream off her cheek.

"LOOK AT HIM!" she continued screaming. "HE'S SO SMOOTH! I'M GONNA DIE!"

I groaned. "You need to f*cking relax."

She didn't. Instead, she replayed the scene five more times, squealing every time.

That was when I made the mistake of peeking at the screen.

It was a standard shoujo anime moment.

✔ Oblivious but adorable heroine.

✔ Some sweet gesture that made fangirls lose their minds.

I had blocked it out of my memory until this exact moment.

Back to Reality – Oh, Sh*t, It's Happening Live

I stared at the café table where Seria and Julius sat.

And the moment I saw Julius reach out with a napkin—

The scene played out exactly like the game.

Julius smiled softly. "You got cream on your cheek."

He leaned forward and gently wiped it off.

A table full of noble ladies erupted into high-pitched screams.

Another grabbed her friend and shook her violently. "IT'S TOO SWEET! I CAN'T HANDLE IT!"

A waiter dropped a tray because his hands were shaking.

I watched in horrified fascination.

"This world is a f*cking joke," I muttered.

I had dodged death multiple times.

But nothing—and I mean nothing—had prepared me for this level of secondhand embarrassment.

I wanted to look away, but it was like watching a train crash in slow motion.

Julius smiled like he knew exactly what he was doing.

Seria covered her face with her hands, completely flustered.

My Escape Plan – Get the Hell Out

I downed the rest of my tea in one gulp and stood up.

I needed to leave before someone noticed me.

And realized I had witnessed this scene—

I threw some coins on the table, turned around—

The entire café turned to look at me.

Chapter 16 – The Damn Cutscene