Chapter 8: The Grand Pirate Dance-Off (Why Is This My Life?)
Max stood frozen as the reality of his situation sank in.
He had successfully stolen the data drive… but now he was about to be forced into a pirate dance battle.
He cleared his throat. "Uh, you know, I'd love to stay and dance all night, but I really gotta—"
Zargoth laughed heartily and threw a massive arm around Max's shoulder. "HAHA! Nonsense! You just became the most entertaining recruit we've had in YEARS!"
The crowd of pirates cheered in approval.
Max forced a grin. "Haha… yay…?"
Zargoth gestured toward a makeshift stage in the center of the hideout. A massive boombox-looking machine hummed with energy, glowing bright neon purple.
"This here is the Rhythm Reactor," Zargoth said proudly. "A piece of ancient alien tech that channels dance energy into pure power!"
Max blinked. "That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard."
Zargoth grinned. "Oh yeah? Tell that to the last guy who lost."
Max turned his head.
On the other side of the room was a small crater… with a pair of SMOKING BOOTS left behind.
Max gulped. "Uh… what happened to him?"
Zargoth shrugged. "The Rhythm Reactor vaporized him. No big deal."
Max's entire soul left his body. "HOW IS THAT NOT A BIG DEAL?!"
Before anyone could answer, a pirate DJ (yes, that was apparently a thing) flipped a switch on the Rhythm Reactor.
Bright neon dance lights flared up.
A massive digital scoreboard appeared above the stage, reading:
DANCE-O-METER: READY.
Zargoth grinned. "Alright, folks, let's see if our new recruit's got what it takes!"
The pirates cheered and banged their mugs on the tables.
Max groaned. Why is my life like this?
---
Round 1: Max vs. A Guy Who Has WAY Too Much Confidence
Max stepped onto the stage, mentally screaming as the pirate DJ spun a dial.
"First challenger—DAGG THE SWAGGER!"
A muscular, four-armed alien with gold chains, sunglasses, and WAY too much confidence strutted onto the stage.
The music blasted—a heavy electro-beat that shook the floor.
Dagg immediately started breakdancing—his four arms moving in ways that shouldn't be possible, his legs spinning like helicopter blades.
The DANCE-O-METER rose to 78% STYLE.
The pirates cheered.
Max panicked.
He was about to die by dance battle.
The System beeped.
[RANDOM POWER UNLOCKED: EXTREME RHYTHM MODE]
Max shook uncontrollably. His body moved on its own.
And suddenly—
HE WAS DANCING LIKE A MADMAN.
His feet slid across the floor in perfect synchronization. His arms snapped into precise, stylish movements. He pulled off a flawless moonwalk, then spun into a gravity-defying backflip.
The DANCE-O-METER shot up to 89% STYLE.
The crowd went insane.
"NEW GUY'S GOT MOVES!"
"HE'S KILLING IT!"
"I THINK I'M IN LOVE!"
Max landed, breathing heavily, heart pounding.
Dagg stared in shock… then collapsed dramatically.
The scoreboard flashed:
MAX WINS ROUND 1!
Max exhaled. Holy crap, I just survived.
Then Zargoth clapped him on the back. "HOHO! That was just ROUND ONE! Get ready, kid, because next up… is ME."
Max's stomach dropped.
Oh no.
---
Final Round: Max vs. Zargoth Bonecrusher
The lights dimmed. A deep bass drop shook the room.
Zargoth stepped onto the stage, cracking his knuckles. "I haven't lost a dance battle in fifteen years."
Max gulped. "That's great. Love that for you. Can I just—"
The music dropped.
Zargoth IMMEDIATELY started an ABSURDLY POWERFUL dance routine.
He spun on one foot while flexing his arms. His tail flipped tables over as part of the routine. He did the worm—but with such raw power that the floor literally cracked beneath him.
The DANCE-O-METER spiked to 97% STYLE.
Max panicked.
"I CAN'T BEAT THAT!"
The System beeped.
[RANDOM POWER ACTIVATED: SUPER BALLERINA MODE]
Max immediately started pirouetting.
Uncontrollably.
He spun at blinding speed, legs extending into perfect form. His arms twirled gracefully, defying all laws of physics.
The DANCE-O-METER hit 100%.
Zargoth stared in horror.
The pirates GASPED.
Max, still spinning like a human tornado, tried to scream. "BOB, HOW DO I TURN THIS OFF?!"
"Unknown."
Max spun even faster.
The Rhythm Reactor started to overload.
The pirate DJ panicked. "OH CRAP, IT'S GONNA—"
BOOM.
The Rhythm Reactor exploded.
Max was sent flying across the room—crashing into a pile of crates.
The hideout was now on fire.
Zargoth coughed, staggering to his feet. "Damn. That was—"
The scoreboard flashed:
"MAX WINS (SORT OF)."
The pirates cheered hysterically.
Max, dizzy and groaning, gave a weak thumbs-up from under the wreckage.
"Yay…?"
Zargoth laughed. "KID, THAT WAS INSANE!"
He grabbed Max and lifted him into the air. "You're officially a Crimson Corsair now!"
Max internally screamed.
Oh. No.