THE WORLD I S RIFE WITH FAVORITISM

person gets what he wants. In fact, it's surely the

best tool in a person's arsenal for making people like

him-w hich makes favoritism work for him.

However, I certainly don't issue the blanket proc-

lamation "Smile!" as so many unthinking hacks be-

fore me have done. Despite the power of this tactic,

you and I both know many people who smile con-

stantly but can barely manipulate the time of day out

of any woman or man. As is the case with most pow-

erful devices, the misuse of the smiling tactic sabo-

tages its user more times than it helps him.

I'm specifically referring to the kind of person who

nearly always brandishes a forced smile, even at inap-

propriate moments-which leaves the definite im-

pression that he must be either a little goofy or up to

something. This person is a casualty of the mindless

decree to "Smile."

If smiling transforms one person into a slick man-

ipulator, yet it makes another person contemptible,

where does the difference between the two lie? I be-

lieve the difference is in the way these people smile.

In trying to make the unalloyed smiling tactic prac-

tical and workable, I experimented with several dif-

ferent ways of smiling. I tried out each method on

strangers whom I introduced myself to in airports,

bars, offices, and other places. I tested the following:

never smiling, smiling constantly, smiling after I said

something I thought warranted a smile, and smiling

during and after I said something that warranted a

smile. I think this fairly well covers all the ways peo-

ple smile. When I tried them out, each of these methods of

smiling produced dramatically different results. This

explains why the tactic works against you unless you

use it right.

When I never smiled, people behaved rather coolly

and spoke to me only in a perfunctory manner. I was

treated basically as though I were a piece of furni-

ture, which is probably what my behavior reminded

people of.

When I smiled constantly, the people I met began

to condescend to me almost immediately. They

forced a strained smile when I said something amus-

ing, as if to humor me. I'm certain that these people

left the encounter thinking they had met some bump-

kin who was slightly touched.

During the tests in which I smiled after I said

something I thought warranted a smile, I harvested a

bumper crop of suspicious glances. I believe people

thought I was a sarcastic smartass, or that I was a

charlatan with something up my sleeve. In any case,

the response I received to the delayed smile can only

be termed negative.

Finally I stumbled on the perfect application when

I smiled during and after I said something that merited

a smile. I immediately knew I'd struck gold by the

warm reception I got from men, and the open flirta-

tions that this tactic teased from women. This kind of

sustained smile is resistance-shattering. It makes you

emerge magnetic.

The key is to begin smiling the moment you inhale

to say something the at calls for a smile. Then, look the person in the eyes and sustain your smile during and

after you say it. You'll be taken back by the way this

technique improves, many times over, the reception

people give the things you say. They even laugh

more at your witty remarks when they're served up

this way.

This during-and-after smile pattern gives you a

more endearing style-which takes its toll on a per-

son's resistance to you. The words you say seem to

be coming from someone who has his interest at

heart. So you're opening him up to doing things your

way.

Other tactics that employ favoritism to your

advantage

Do you like flattery? If you think like most people,

you would probably reply "No!" But like nearly ev-

erybody, the truth is probably "Yes."

Actually everyone loves to be flattered, but they

dislike obvious flattery. Blatant flattery smacks of

dishonesty and betrays its user's ulterior motives. But

when flattery is executed with a shrewd subtlety, it

touches the heart of your manipulatee and stirs his

human nature. You swing a person to your side

when you flatter his judgment without letting him

know you're doing it. The tactics in the rest of this

chapter will show you how to reap the benefits of

favoritism by using this kind of calculated, clever

flattery.