V. Your Love

𝔄 𝔅𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔷𝔢 blew into the room that no longer lacked life, the room seemed livelier than before, did something change? No one would be able to guess. The windows finally took a deep breath and let it out almost as it'd been holding it's breath in for a while, the curtains swayed and flowed comfortably, a bit of life had finally overtaken the room. Though the room still looked dark from her perspective, she could feel a sense of peace and freedom, even if temporarily.

"Whatever have I done to feel this way?" Mirren smiled to herself a bit, as everything had color, she could hear it even though she could not see it. No longer was she a fairy that was locked in a silver cage, but a human who fails and falls. Though her life has changed since that night, the only thing that has changed was her demeanor, her heart had desired something beyond human capacity, a comfort that nothing in this world could ever dare to give her. All she had ever received were pitious gazes from the servants.

They all believed she was alright after all those horrendous beatings, so they all stopped caring and just looked at her pitifully. She remembers when they would stare across her, where was he  when she would get beaten? Perhaps it is a question that could be answered some time later when she would decide it is right to ask.

Mirren got up from her bed after that dark night and decided she would try to make people see things the way she does. Perhaps even change their minds, and now that she thought about it, it was complicated.

Then there was a sudden knock to the door of her bedroom chambers, she got up quickly and tried to remain composed, she did what she could earlier to hide the fact that she cried.

Grow up Mirren, don't be weak.  She smiled as the maids scurried inside and her Mother walked in afterwards with a cold expression, Mirren smiled and bowed her head slightly, how strange, my cheeks hurt... Her smile trembled but she remained composed.

The Marquis sighed heavily and glared at the child before her, "Mother, it is a pleasure to-"

"Callate, mal agradecida."  Mirren kept her head down calmly, her mother lifted her chin harshly, she looked at her sternly. There was a deafening silence between the two ladies, the marquis gripped tighter on her chin and this time it was in silent rage to say the least.

" Das verguenza, hasta los perros de la calle saben obedecer mejor que tu. Take her things,"  Mirren watched calmly as they took all her belongings, for most of them held no value to her and the marquis nodded at the maid.

The maid bowed and lifted Mirren's mattress, as she searched she had found a canvas or two, some paintbrushes and a palette. Mirren's face simply turned sour as she turned to look at her mother who still had a firm grasp on her face.

"¿Me crees tonta verdad? Yo se lo que escondes. Te lo regreso cuando te portes bien. No se por que tanto te gustan estas cochinadas, aprende que no eres de la calle, Mirren de Clemente." The marquis ushered her threats like a cold breeze does in the middle of spring. Mirren's eyes widened as she bit her lip and simply smiled.

"Okay." She replied calmly gritting her teeth, there were no tantrums, no hissy fights and no yelling. Everyone stayed silent, even the marquis. 

The marquis clicked her tongue and waved her hand as a maid nodded, they closed the doors. Mirren sighed with tears welling up in her eyes, she looked out into the sky through her dusty window and smiled, "Did I do good?" She asked the sky and silence followed. She smiled warmly at it and slouched down underneath her window, she looked down at her hands with a smile and then frowned just as quickly.

"I hope I am..." She replied to a thought she had almost unconsciously. There was a thud outside her door, then another, two more followed after. She got up from her place and tilted her head, baffled by the sudden racket.

what's going on? She looked out in curiosity, the doors began to fall over her as she quickly scrambled elsewhere. "My lord! What in heavens is going on..?!" Mirren clacked her heels towards the people on the other side of the door and saw two young men staring back at her pitifully.

"Would you two young men care to explain why you have offed my chamber doors?" Mirren asked as she raised her eyebrow, her ankles now bruised from the sprinting. The two young men looked at each other and looked down, "Pardon our rude intrusion lady, the madam asked for the doors to be taken down." They both replied glancing at one another anxiously, Mirren simply stood there. The two young men gulped, nervous, thinking their lady was angry with them. Was she? Could she be? Would she be allowed to be so?

"I understand." She smiled warmly at the two as they nodded and began to head out with her doors on their shoulders, they weren't large doors to begin with, something inside of her began to flare up, Mirren simply touched her chest and bit back her tears. She walked back into her chambers, now she was trapped again.

Like birds stripped away from their freedom, able to dream yet unable to make it true, their singing as melancholic and forlorn by the skies and its companions that take in the wonderful breeze. 

Mirren heard a knock at her door as she spaced out and nodded, "Lady, How are you feeling..?" Ellen asked almost hesitant to go near, she couldn't know what her lady was thinking after she just pushed her away for her, what she thought was, curiosity at the time. Ellen sat down and blinked sassily, thinking it would make her lady giggle but instead she was met with dead and tired eyes. A gasp escaped ellen's mouth as she saw this, the beautiful and fairy-like lady she served was sad again.

" I'm Alright Ellen. What is it that brings you here?"  She asked with dry lips and sullen eyes, she looked at her but it was as if she wasn't really looking at her. There was something off about her lady that just set her off, something that pierced her heart. Something she just simply couldn't understand.

"W-Well...your cousin has come to visit and is asking for you dear lady." There was hesitation in her words, mirren simply looked up and smiled. "Alright. Tell her to meet me at the Library. She tends to read a variety of books,"  Ellen was surprised her lady had remembered, but then again, there wasn't a single person her ladyship didn't like in this world, she was so lovely and loved everyone else equally. Her lady always paid attention to everything that happened around her and the people she met, she would never forget people's names and neither forget their faces out of consideration towards others. 

"I will let her know then Lady!" Ellen beamed proudly as mirren simply nodded with a weak smile, ellen took this as her token of luck and began to run out enthusiastically.

...

"Is this not quite the perfect opportunity? She loves me to death, she will do anything I ask of her. Such a lovely person my cousin is." Mirren chuckled, her cheeks filled with pink, like a young maiden in love with a bright smile. She walked over to her closet and took some shoes and slipped them on.

I'll go to mother's room and ask her for a dress, surely she wouldn't want to embarass herself by making me wear drabs.  Mirren calculated as she began to walk out her room, her heels clacked in that empty dark hallway. The long rug was ragged and slightly tattered from the edges if you looked hard enough, perhaps no one would actually think of inspecting that closely though. The walls were nicely decorated, simply and yet lavishly, a humble type of wealth which her family was known for since they know not of her situation. She knew from the top of her head how many servants worked at the manor, their names, their faces and even how big their families were. For all this huge fight to start over a mere question about a new person was indeed quite strange.

Why did she get angry to begin with? It's as if someone had told her otherwise about my intentions. Someone was willing to make them seem impure and filled with ill-will. There's no doubt about it.  Mirren sighed as she thought about the kind person that had made this whole ordeal happen.

"Come in." A brash yet noble voice replied, mirren inhaled and then exhaled as she stretched the edges of her lips to bring upon a gentle and soft smile on her face for all to see. She knew who was on the other side of the door, she didn't expect it but neither could she say she didn't.

"Tia, it is a pleasure to meet you on this wonderful day, I hope you are doing well. Is everything faring alright with my dear cousin?"  Mirren asked humbly, the two older women looked at each other as the brash woman smiled widely and leaned in for a big hug as always. Mirren held in her breath as her aunt squeezed every fiber of her being till her eye boogers began to spill out her eyes. 

"Ay mija, there's no need to talk like that with your tia! It's nice to see you too! You're always so lovely!" She squeezed even tighter as mirren began to gasp for air in silence desperately, "T-tia, y-you are squ...ezing too m-much!" Mirren patted her aunt's back gently yet fighting back the urge to push her dear aunt away.

"I will always hug you like this! You are thinner than before too," The female turned to the marquis who was smiling brightly at the woman, "Are you even feeding her well Regina? My little girl is so thin!" Mirren simply smiled brightly at the woman who scolded her mother, it was rare to see her mother get scolded by anyone other than the Marquess.

"Hmph, you are only scolding me now. Do not even get me started! She is so picky when it comes to food, if she feels it is too salty she will not eat, if she feels it is too sweet she also will not eat! What am I to do with such an ungrateful child?!" Mirren's mother expressed brazenly, there was confidence and a bit of life in her words which were always as cool as steel. Mirren felt a bit of envy towards her aunt who seemed to receive her mother's respect and friendliness, something Mirren herself could never dare to desire in her whole life up until now.

"Regina, feed the child more meat, she will definitely like it."

"My children are not your children Wilhelmina, this child eats a lot less than the normal lady." the marquis stood up almost to defend her cause, almost as if she were defending the cruel things she had done. 

No Mirren, how ever could you think like that? calm down it's your fault anyways. Or is it?  Agh...stop it already. Mirren simply smiled and nodded, "Yes, she is right aunt sometimes I eat a lot less than the normal lady. It is usually because I have no appetite though it's not my mother's fault." Mirren lied through her teeth, it's because of them, she thought as she stared at her mother. Apparently I am "this child" instead of "my child" I guess I could be anyone's hm?  Mirren walked over to the coffee table and began to pour some green tea on a small teacup, she gently stirred it and handed it to her aunt.

Her playful and considerate aunt. That's what she was at least to her from her perspective when she saw her. Outside of her home? She wouldn't know. Never trust anyone. That was Mirren's motto. But it felt like she was forgetting something important...

A nice gentle cool breeze whistled behind her, like cool water does on a hot summer day, Mirren turned to see that the window had been opened. She could see the sky and the beautiful trees, white petals fell from the trees that came from the south of the Apeiron Empire, so far it would even take a whole 2 months to arrive to. She never noticed the beauty being emitted from the view, even if the colors were still monotone from her point of view. 

"Thank you ren, this tea is absolutely delectable! The tea you make is always filled with sweetness and love." Wilhelmina looked at the tea with a gentle, soft gaze as she blew on it to make it slightly cooler. The room was decorated with the most lavish things, there were small statues of horses and paintings with bright colors, there were books stacked upon books on the shelves and papers stacked neatly on her mother's desk. This felt more like a sitting room rather than an office room.

"Mother, Do I have your permission to use the dress I asked you to put away for me?" Mirren asked as she closed the windows gently and turned to her mother, her mother simply stared and smiled back. She can't reject my request in front of my tia, she says she's two-faced yet she still talks to her with more love than her own daughter. She won't want to look bad in anything in front of her. 

"Alright, remember to ask Ellen for help to put it on," She replied happily, Mirren nodded and went to the wardrobe. She opened the large doors and searched for a lavender dress that complemented her fair skin and wavy hair, a dress that would make others envious. It might have been her way of showing pride, even arrogance, to protect her family's honor.

Mirren had found it and took it, she slightly bowed before her aunt and mother, heading out gracefully until she closed the doors and began to dash to her room. My cousin is probably already inside the drawing room, I took too long talking with my aunt. I've got to hurry...Mirren thought, scrambling up an excuse inside her head as she rushed to her chambers, they wouldn't be hard to find anymore like before.

WHACK!

"Ouch...Are you alright?" Mirren asked as she fumbled for her dress, as she searched for it with her eyes closed from the clash she felt something warm, it pulsed and felt alive. Like a hand...

Her eyelashes fluttered like a hummingbird's wings as she turned to fix her gaze on the person next to her, She stared in confusion, "Oh why it is you," Mirren gulped, she took a deep breath and smiled, "What brings you here?"

"I am alright, Lady Mirren, but is M'lady alright? M'lady seemed to be in a rush," He looked anxious as he touched her hand carelessly and took it back just as quickly. 

"Ah...Well my dear cousin has just arrived and I-" Mirren stopped in her tracks as she spotted the lady behind the gardener, she couldn't help but feel distraught on the inside, but everything could be fixed. She always had a solution, right?

"Ren, Are you alright? I didn't expect to see you here..." She stared at the boy who was on the floor just like Mirren. She had long nails and a darker complexion than Mirren, she was a darker tone and had thick lips and bushy eyebrows. It was her cousin.

Flutura de Clemente

"Flutura." Mirren stood up as she called out her name, the girl simply staring at the boy in curiosity, Mirren noticed and sighed, "Flutura, what brings you here? I was just about to head to the drawing room." Flutura nodded and smiled brightly, "Ren! Is this a new dress? It looks so pretty! Did the Marquis get it for you?" Flutura began to bombard her with questions, she knew how this game was played and was willing to go along.

"That is right. My mother said someone had gifted this to her on one of her short trips, I absolutely love the color, so I asked if I could possibly have it and she agreed. I was just going to try it on to show you," Mirren smiled brightly, if her cousin was a snake then she was a bigger one. She knew these types of mind games she would play were for fun and to gain information. 

Thus she can confidently say...

She knows nothing about me. 

Humans are selfish by nature due to sin. They desire things only for themselves, they naturally only want to speak well of themselves and the things they own. A businessman is not a businessman if he does not seek benefit of his own. Whether it be monetary or emotionally. A mother is not a mother if she does not desire the love of her child. Whether it be real or not.  Mirren pondered with a smiling face, she knew not of any other thinking or emotion that could cloud her thinking and analytic abilities.

" Wow...it is very pretty though. Do you know who gifted her this dress?"  Flutura questioned as she clung to Mirren's arm, Mirren simply smiled and shook her head almost dissappointed for not being able to provide her further information. Not like it would matter, she would tell her mother and her tia would tell Mirren's mother.

"Sorry I'm not sure either." Mirren replied sadly

" It is alright Ren, do not worry I was just asking out of curiosity."  Flutura replied almost as if trying to cheer her up, Mirren simply nodded happily with a small pink taking over her cheeks out of joy.

" M'lady, here is your dress. I have gotten rid of all the dust and cleaned it up on the surface."  The gardener told her cautiously, hiding his face with his dark green hat carefully, almost like a thief in the night . Mirren took notice and nodded, "Take it to my bedroom chambers then, have it cleaned by Ellen. She will know what to do," Mirren replied as she began to drag her cousin elsewhere.

Flutura simply stared at the boy as he walked away and began to chatter about, " That boy looked at you weird, ren."

"Weird?" Ren replied almost callously, this was meant to be the side that only flutura would get to see, it always made her feel special. 

" Yeah, he looked at you like the way the Marquess looks at the Marquis. " Flutura continued deep in thought, " He's cute though! So he's the Gardener?"  Flutura asked innocently, Mirren nodded nonchalantly as their heels clacked in the empty hallways , Flutura turned to look at Mirren and thought deeply for a bit.

"Is it possible to invite him to our earl estate? Perhaps your mother would allow it, but I believe you'd be able to convince her more than I,"  Flutura looked pleadingly at Mirren, This is a trap. Why is she always looking for a way to anger me and embarass me? Hah...I'll just nod. I don't possess him, thus he is not mine. It's up to my mother. but... Mirren pondered for a bit and nodded, "Since you're confident why don't you just ask her, Flutura? Since you're her favorite niece she'll approve with good reason." Mirren smiled innocently with a bright expression, there was something that made Flutura feel defeated and she backed down.

" Alright, I will let her know then."  Her face twitched a little and her voice had become slightly harsher, though no one would notice unless you'd known her long enough. Mirren couldn't help but chuckle on the inside as she stared warmly at her dear cousin on the outside.

There was no color in her world still and she simply stared at the girl next to her. She was blind to the colors of this world, she had long forgotten what they used to look like. How nice it was to have them in your grasp . She had thought.

You all pretend to love me from the bottom of your hearts, but in the end who is to say that you will not leave me the moment you find me to be useless? Everyone is the same in this world, I don't understand what is so good about her that her own mother can love her this much.  Mirren thought as she giggled along with her cousin who clung to her arm tightly, Your love is suffocating just like that woman's. You're all the same .

Perhaps... Even God is the same...

Mirren looked out the windows in the hallways and saw the blue sky in all its glory, wonderful white wispy and fluffy clouds and the green trees that sprouted just outside to block any big animals from climbing in. She could see the color of the grass and flowers, and a soft voice say: 

"...I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you..." 

Gentle like the windy breeze that afternoon and warm like the sun in a cold winter, that was what the voice that resonated in her head sounded like. Who ever would be so patient enough to wait for someone so long, just to receive their unpredictable love in return?

" I wonder..."  Mirren stared lost in the forgotten beauty of the world that had once brought her to her knees and pleaded for her return to the prairies.

"You believe me stupid right? I know what you hide. I will return it when you behave. I do not know why you like this filth so much, learn that you are not from the streets, Mirren de Clemente."   Translation from spanish to english; Marquis Regina Clemente's Dialogue

"Silence you ingrate."  Translation from spanish to english; Marquis Regina Clemente's Dialogue

"You embarass me, even the dogs on the streets know to behave better than you. Take her things."  Translation from spanish to english; Marquis Regina Clemente's Dialogue 

"The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying:

"I have loved you with an everlasting love;

I have drawn you with unfailing kindness."

 Jeremiah 31:3