VI. Confianza
𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓵𝓸𝓻𝓼 with life like no other, they merged together, they split up, together they became something else entirely sometimes. Mirren's eyes lit up as her eyes took in every single color she could capture with her orbs that seemed to fly off from one corner to the other. She could see the mystical butterflies with ease, as they all shone a bright, gleaming color in the sun. Mirren's eyes glistened as she stared at the open window in wonder like that of a small child until she was pulled back to reality. A strong arm pulled on hers and a stifling voice called out to her.
"..en? Ren?! REN!" Mirren flinched at the raise of the female's voice and turned around with a shocked expression on her face, tears welled up in her eyes as she rubbed them gently and turned to the female with a smile again. She cannot be weak no matter who she's with or where she goes.
"What is wrong, Flutura?" Mirren tilted her head in question, she still found it strange. It was strange that her dear beloved, perfect cousin made an expression like that. Why? Flutura thought as she smiled back, hoping to avoid her cousin's suspicions, to her Mirren was like a complete yet unresolved puzzle. It had the whole picture and is complete but why is it that she still does not understand her? She thought she had her wrapped around her fingers only to find out it was probably the other way around. Is Mirren really a fool or... Flutura clung to Mirren's arm tighter. Mirren simply stared and chuckled, " Did the...window have something there?" Flutura asked with a dry smile, Mirren smiled and shook her head.
"No. I just thought the sky looked beautiful today," Mirren beamed at her cousin as emotion flickered on her face and she went back to her usual self. Mirren kept walking, leading Flutura elsewhere.
...
Did she just...smile at me? I am sure she just flashed me a bright warm smile...hmm . . . .
"haha..."
"Hm? Is everything alright Flutura..?" Mirren turned on her heels and began to walk towards Flutura in what seemed to be worry. Her hair draping over her shoulders and face as she checked on Flutura with the utmost care.
"Oh dear me! Do not worry too much ren! it is nothing serious! I just thought of a funny memory I had a long time ago." Flutura chuckled, her smile had been the brightest Mirren had ever seen in her life. Mirren pondered for a bit and then decided to leave it be, she would have time later to think it more thoroughly, but the most accurate thing she could conclude was: I slipped up.
"Alright, if you say so Flutura. Let us go, I have got some new books that just arrived at the Manor, I have read most of them. They are absolutely nefarious!" Mirren giggled shyly, as she walked stiffly, things would need to get solved and she could not wait any longer.
"Oh! I believe you will absolutely love the new novel that Joan Mon'Arc, that recently took the world by storm, wrote with such unbridled passion!" Mirren's tone sprung with joy, as she hooked her arm with Flutura's. Flutura was always clinging to Mirren one way or another. Why? No one really knew the real reason, for everyone simply suspected that she just loved her cousin that much.
"Ren, why do you always shirk away from my mother's embrace? Do you not like her? You can be honest with me," Flutura twirled in front of her, there was never any grace in her steps but boldness instead. Mirren's eyes flashed her a shy gaze in an attempt to get her off her trail, that's why she hated it when her cousin visited her. She hated these types of questions that she always set in her path, it was always done in an attempt to gaze and peer into her mind. To know her thoughts, that she never reveals to anyone, neither would she ever in the future, for she had to be a fool to do something like that in the world she lived in.
"I...I just really like your mother, so sometimes I do not know how to behave in front of her. My mother does not usually hug us tightly like that, it is always light and affectionate." Mirren replied in what seemed to be a clumsy tone that hesitated in response to such a bold question, Flutura narrowed her eyes and smiled. "Ren you can always be honest with me. You know that right?" Mirren nodded at the smiling female that seemed to have everyone and everything wrapped around her fingers, when truly, the master of this mind game was none other than Mirren herself.
Keep thinking to yourself that I'm a fool and I will keep thinking you are just another snake out to eat an Eagle. Mirren had pondered numerous times on possibilities on end of whether or not Flutura was after everything she had. But chuckled a bit to herself as her gaze slightly darkened as they walked in the empty hallways, Mirren knew, Flutura could take nothing from her. What can a rich person take from the poor? Nothing. They're poor because they have nothing. Mirren had nothing to offer, not even to her own mother. The only thing she can offer are her delusions and cries.
"I know I can. I really like your mother, unlike mine she expresses her love very openly. I love honest people, they always wear their hearts on their sleeves and are easy to get along with." Mirren stopped as soon as her cousin's heels stopped clacking against the marble floor. Mirren walked towards her and tilted her head as she tried to read Flutura's expression. Only the chattering of the two women could be heard from a distance, they laughed and yelled at each other, because that's how they were raised and what they were like. It was their nature when they were together.
So Mirren wondered why her cousin and her couldn't be the same. Why couldn't they also trust each other instead of always trying to get at each other's throats.
"You know," Flutura's voice began to tremble, "You have no idea what it is like living at home. You do not know what it is like being me. It is pure pain and suffering, what would someone perfect like you understand? " Flutura gnashed her teeth angrily, you could even see the veins starting to pop out, Mirren simply stared and nodded with a sympathetic smile.
"You are right. I do not know what you go through at home. I deeply apologize if I said something insensitive." Mirren said apologetically, she hadn't known at the time but a shadow loomed. Flutura was enraged at her very poor attempt to apologize but instead took a deep breath and looked at Mirren pitifully.
Mirren smiled through her frustration, It's that look again. Everyone seems to keep believing I'm some idiot. She thought as she placed a hand on her dear cousin's shoulder, trying to comfort the hurting soul before her. Her pain had become her own, it was her own blessing and curse. She would love everyone with all her heart but in return she was meant to feel their betrayal, their pain, that soon began to numb her own. She wanted none of it, but alas, what ever could she do?
"Right. Sorry ren, it was incredibly insensitive of me to put that burden on you. You do not have experience, so I began to chatter away like a fool," Flutura frowned almost as if she had committed a heinous crime, Mirren smiled and nodded, thinking someone was nearby, "No, there is fault in me. I lack in certain areas and I apologize dear cousin, I wish there were more I could do really. But I can only comfort you so little. I am sorry ," Mirren replied in a rather small panicky voice, flustered, lost and ashamed of definitely not knowing better.
The way to survive-
Pretend you know nothing. Pretend you are the biggest fool of them all and then hit them back. Mirren laughed nervously, No.
Wait- No? What..?
"You only care about yourself! Why do you not first learn of my hurtings before saying I do not have any!?" Is what Mirren wanted to say but instead she said, "Well, you are not wrong dear Flutura, but I will always hear you out because I have experience trying to be a good friend." Mirren comforted as she expressed pain across her face to evoke emotion out of Flutura. Mirren bit her lip in worry and gave Flutura an awkward small hug from the side and smiled nervously, "Truly I wish for your pain to dissipate like the dust bunnies do when they cause too much trouble. If your burdens were to get lighter, I would do anything. But I am incapable of such help as you said, I apologize for my inability to help you with your troubles, Flutura." Mirren turned her gaze away and looked at the closed windows in the halls again, they made her eyes slightly light up with hope until shook her head sadly, turning to Flutura who seemed to be in shock.
"Ren~ I had not the faintest idea you were such a romantic!" She squealed embracing Mirren's lose arm tightly, Mirren was tired of this game, always, all the time. When would she ever speak to somebody without worrying about everything she stands to lose? What does she even have to lose?
Flutura had left after a few hours of questioning and complaining with her mother and Mirren finally took a deep breath, like she was holding in all of her wanting to leave the world in an instant. What to do now? I have to give Mother the dress back. I mean it was in my wardrobe but still-
There was a loud bang to the door and Mirren stared at it horrified, her doors were gone so what was with the dramatic effect? Mirren raised an eyebrow as she sat cordially on instinct until she saw it was a servant. Mirren felt her entire world collapse in a moment as she saw a girl around her age with beautiful wavy auburn hair that trickled down to her shoulders delicately in small braids and the rest of her hair remained in a half bun with strands of hair loosely reaching her waist. Her eyes fluttered open rapidly and Mirren was taken aback for a bit until she heard a loud slap.
"OH MY GOSHNESS!!!! I AM SO HAPPY TO MEET YOU!" The girl clasped Mirren's hands into her own abruptly and Mirren thought this was excalating too quickly. The gorgeous girl had made even the most beautiful girl in all of existence blush and seem shy-- I mean, this strange girl who had just entered the lady's room so abruptly was rude and unrefined unlike the lady before her who seemed to be shockingly taken aback at her sudden gesture of love.
"E-Excuse me? Wh-Who in the world are you?" Mirren stuttered baffled, she quickly took back her hands and raised an eyebrow at the girl before her. The girl blinked confused and then processed the question the lady before her had asked, there was a bit of hesitation until she finally got the resolve to tell her as she made a fist and smashed it into her palm happily. "My name is Giovanna Mercuti, it is my greatest and grandest pleasure to have met you Lady Mirren de Clemente!" She seemed more excited at the thought of having met Mirren than any of her servants and friends combined. Mirren looked at her in pure disgust, an expression she never thought she would ever have.
"I will be serving you as your beloved-- I mean, personal maid from now on!" She continued almost as if the whole world had finally collapsed before Mirren's eyes and she was experiencing the afterlife for her horrible misdeeds. Mirren began to sweat in anxiety as she smiled brightly at the girl before her, she thought her soul had left her body for a moment. Who in the world is this person? I do not remember ever posting a job listing for our family, in fact, we could not possibly afford to hire another servant at the moment. Much less a personal maid. Just what on earth did this lunatic do to get past the guards at the front gates of the manor..? Mirren tilted her head innocently in question at the girl as she met her eys and began to turn bright red.
"my bias is looking at me- she's so gorge! omg! she looks so delectably nefarious in that outfit too!" She jumped forgetting the presence of the person she squealed over. Somehow this story has suddenly turned into straight-out comedy--
"I'M GETTING SERIOUS OKAY?! I JUST NEED A MOMENT TO PROCESS AND TAKE IN THIS MOMENT!!" Thus she began to calm down and get on her knees before Mirren. Mirren sat there so bewildered that perhaps it was all but a dream, bias? gorge? omg? what do those words mean? Why is she on her knees? Did she find out? No wait- there's not chance she would. The one handling it is Ellen.
Mirren sighed and stared down at the girl before her, "First off, who are you to barge into the room of a noble lady unannounced?" The questioning had finally begun, Mirren looked ready to throw her out the room for her lack of decency. "I hope she gets mad at me..hahaha"
"Hello? I am speaking to you, please-"
"I...am just...very excited to meet you!"
. . .
"That was rude wasn't it? I'm sorry."
Why is she speaking so strangely? She cuts off her words quite strangely but still manages to make sense. Strange. But I must find out what she is up to here. She cleared her throat, getting up from her bed from whence she sat and peeking through both sides of the arch where her doors might have been had they not been literally chopped off her room yesterday.
"Can you just please answer my questions?"
"I...cannot answer you in the moment. For now you just need to know I am of lowly origins, I have a brother to take care of and this dog's name is Giovanna Mercuti," The female replied dramatically whilst on her knees, almost sobbing like the female lead in a soap opera, Mirren pondered for a bit as she thought it through. I simply cannot trust her, she lacks credibility and she cannot be trusted. But...as they say. Keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer. It would do no harm to keep her, but it has to be within budget, I would have to squeeze through and make a gap in the logs my Father keeps. It will be easy considering how lose those things are, he has them everywhere. Mirren turned to Giovanna who seemed to still be throwing crocodile tears everywhere.
She sighed, kneeling on one leg before Giovanna and lifting her chin as she examined her face, She has no scars. Which is better, my mother will not think I brought her from the streets. Besides, this can be a give and take. Just as it has always been. Mirren let go of Giovanna's chin and kept pondering as she left the fragile female alone in her private chambers.
"what...SHE'S SO COOL! FOR SOME REASON! EVERYONE LIKES HER! SHE'S BEAUTIFUL! SHE'S LIKE A DOMINITRIX! OH MY GOSH! THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS CHANCE TO MEET MY FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!" Giovanna sobbed as she began to look around the room, "I wonder why her room looks like this though. I thought it would look more...classy? Wait-" Giovanna began to rummage through Mirren's wardrobe and looked through her large chest of shoes that seemed to only have one pair.
Giovanna remained silent and put the chest back where it was, "What...apart from being beaten, she gets her stuff taken away? Why..?" For once, in the time Mirren had existed someone had wondered if they were too blessed in a world like this one. Giovanna lifted her hand to her mouth and silently sobbed. I promise I will help you in your journey, Mirren. I want you to see that even in the midst of horror and hatred, there is love even amongst those you least expect it. Giovanna thought with determination as Mirren felt an itch in her ear as she walked down the dark crusty hallway to her father's office.
Even there shall thy hand lead me,
And thy right hand shall hold me.
Psalms 139:10