Chapter 25: The Slumbering King's Unstoppable Expansion
Ren lay sprawled across his newly acquired Royal Mattress of Unshakable Authority, basking in its divine fluffiness. He had officially reached peak laziness.
Then Aria kicked the door open. Again.
"Ren, I swear on all that is holy, WAKE UP!"
Ren groaned. "Aria, I just became the owner of an entire kingdom by not moving. Let me have this moment."
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" she shouted. "The rulers of six neighboring nations are holding an emergency summit! They're terrified you'll accidentally take their kingdoms next!"
Ren yawned. "Well, they're not wrong. My bed's been on a winning streak lately."
Aria's left eye twitched. "That's not the point! They're literally forming a coalition to prevent you from…from…from existing too powerfully!"
The system dinged.
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[Passive Ability Activated: Unintentional Imperialism]
[Effect: The more people fear you, the more their nations fall under your control.]
[Bonus Effect: Leaders will attempt to appease you with ridiculous offerings to avoid conquest.]
---
Ren blinked. "Huh. That's new."
A second later, another exhausted messenger burst into the room, panting.
"Y-Your Majesty! The Kingdom of Roderia just… surrendered to you!"
Aria looked absolutely done. "What."
Ren rubbed his eyes. "Why?"
The messenger hesitated. "Their king saw how Eldoria was 'conquered' and panicked. He figured surrendering early might earn him a better 'pillow tribute.'"
Ren stared. "A…pillow tribute?"
The doors slammed open again as another delegation arrived, struggling to carry a mountain of luxurious pillows into the room. The leader, a high-ranking noble, bowed so low his forehead nearly cracked the floor.
"O Supreme Slumbering Monarch! Please accept these Heavenly Cloud Silk Pillows as our humble tribute! May your naps remain ever glorious!"
Ren picked up one of the pillows and gave it an experimental squish. It was perfect.
The system chimed.
---
[New Title Unlocked: The Supreme Sultan of Siestas]
[Effect: Any bedding-related tributes will exponentially increase in quality.]
[Bonus Effect: Random nations may submit to you out of sheer confusion.]
---
Ren smirked. "Aria, I'm collecting kingdoms like they're free samples."
Aria let out an unholy screech and started pacing in frantic circles. "DO YOU EVEN REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS?!"
Garth wandered in, munching on a golden croissant. "We're winning the world without fighting?"
"YES! AND THAT'S BAD!" Aria threw her arms up. "Wars are how world powers normally rise! Treaties! Political marriages! Strategic alliances! But NO! Our king takes a nap, and nations just hand themselves over like promotional giveaways!"
Ren pulled the Blanket of Absolute Dominion over himself. "I don't see a problem."
The doors burst open again. Another envoy.
This time, it was from the Grand Empire of Xenthos a military superpower known for its massive armies and ruthless expansion.
Their general, a towering man clad in gold-trimmed armor, stepped forward and dropped to his knees.
"Great One, we have come not to fight but to serve!"
Aria's soul left her body.
Ren sighed. "Alright, what's the deal this time?"
The general's hands trembled. "Our spies reported that your bed is growing in power. We cannot risk being devoured by its influence."
Ren blinked. "Devoured? By a bed?"
The general nodded gravely. "We witnessed Eldoria's fall. Then Roderia's. And now your Pillow Horde expands beyond control." He swallowed. "We have no choice but to swear eternal allegiance before your divine bed consumes us all."
Ren considered this. "Huh. So my empire's gotten so ridiculously overpowered that even superpowers are surrendering… to a nap?"
The system dinged again.
---
[Passive Ability Evolved: Reality-Warping Inaction]
[Effect: The less you do, the greater your empire's power grows.]
[Bonus Effect: Entire civilizations may offer themselves to you out of pure existential dread.]
---
Ren looked at the notification.
Then at the kneeling general.
Then at Aria, whose sanity was disintegrating in real-time.
Ren cracked his knuckles. "Alright. Let's test this out."
He slowly, deliberately… closed his eyes.
Silence.
Then..
A new kingdom declared itself under his rule.
Aria screamed.
Garth slow-clapped. "Majestic."
The system chimed one last time.
---
[New Achievement Unlocked: Conqueror of the Couch]
[Reward: Celestial Nap Throne (The more you recline, the stronger your influence grows.)]
---
A glowing, godlike throne-bed hybrid materialized in the room, radiating a divine aura of ultimate laziness.
Ren stretched and settled into it.
Five more nations immediately surrendered.
Aria collapsed.
Garth popped another croissant into his mouth. "So… breakfast?"
Ren gave a lazy thumbs-up. "Yeah. But make sure it's five-star. I have an image to maintain."
As the world scrambled to comprehend The Sleeping King's unstoppable rise, Ren simply closed his eyes… and his empire grew even larger.
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