HER POV X

"We crave to be chosen."

"HINDI mo ba ako papapasukin, Attorney?"

I couldn't speak.

I was paralyzed, struck by his stare.

Silence lingered between us, to the point na hindi ko napansin ang mga taong dumadaan sa paligid.

I didn't know why, but I just couldn't move.

I was stuck in his presence.

"Attorney, are you alright?"

I blinked and composed myself. "What are you doing here?"

He grinned. "May I have some water first? Nauuhaw kasi ako."

I sighed and led him to the kitchen.

"F*ck," I whispered, staring at the water dispenser.

The floor was soaked, and the water was all gone.

I had forgotten to turn off the dispenser earlier and just left the glass there.

I took a deep breath.

Kasalanan mo 'to, Dakarai.

"Tulungan kita maglinis, Attorney?" he grinned.

I stared at him from head to toe— this guy didn't look like he knew anything about cleaning a mess.

"It was actually my first time cleaning a mess. Ang saya pala, Attorney, no?" he said.

I stared at him with a weird expression.

Anong masaya sa paglilinis?

Since when has cleaning been fun?

We were now walking outside my unit.

"Ngayon ko lang nalaman na peaceful pala maglakad sa kalsada nang ganitong oras, Attorney," he commented.

I rolled my eyes. "Stop calling me Attorney."

"Okay then, Amari."

When I heard him say my name, memories from our past flooded back.

When we were younger, he often called me by that name.

And that name was tied to some of my happiest memories with him.

"How do I do this, Amari?" His face scrunched up as he struggled to figure out how the water would flow.

"Just call me Lanxie."

He scratched his head while staring intently at the numbers on the coin slot.

I couldn't help but laugh softly, but then I realized I didn't bring my wallet.

Pakakapalan ko na lang ang mukha ko ngayon dahil kailangan. With everything that had been happening, it seemed like every interaction with Dakarai was a battle with my own pride.

"Pahingi ng barya, Daks." I held out my hand, hoping to get by with whatever coins he might have in his pocket.

He smirked devilishly, that signature smirk that always seemed to hide something deeper. "Daks."

I raised my eyebrows. "Why? Wala namang mali sa sinabi ko, ah? Daks, short for Dakarai."

He smiled foolishly, as if he was enjoying the fact that we were back in this weird, familiar territory. "Oo nga, daks nga ako."

I tried to maintain my composure, but his teasing was getting under my skin in the most unexpected way. He handed me a 1,000-peso bill, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

I looked at the bill, and then back at him. I was used to seeing him with money, but it felt different now. "Iba talaga ang 'barya' ng mga mayayaman."

"Barya, Daks, coins!" I said, my voice dripping with annoyance, though I didn't really want to sound frustrated. Maybe it was because I was getting too used to his antics.

"Oo nga, barya. Here na, oh, barya." He replied, still blissfully unaware of my sarcasm.

"Paano mo 'yan papapasok sa butas?" I asked, already seeing the absurdity of the situation. His attempt at getting the right change just seemed too ridiculous to ignore.

He shrugged and laughed. "Pwede naman dilaan hanggang wet enough na, or we can use lubricant," he winked at me, his tone playful.

I narrowed my eyes at him. I wasn't about to let him get away with this. "Stop it, Dakarai."

But he didn't stop. He searched his wallet again and eventually found a 20-peso coin, handing it over with an exaggerated flourish.

We went back to my unit while he was still carrying the water jug, looking ridiculously proud of himself. I couldn't help but wonder where this guy found the energy to act so carefree all the time.

I didn't really pay attention to his physique, though it was hard not to. His body was lean but strong, and his presence was always undeniable, even when he was doing something as simple as carrying water.

"Akala mo 'di ko kaya, ano?" he said, breaking my train of thought. "Palagi kaya akong nasa gym, lifting weights. I can lift you too." He said it so confidently, as though it was a simple fact.

I ignored him, my thoughts drifting to something far more complicated. I handed him the water. "Back to business, ba't ka andito?" I asked, trying to get to the heart of the matter.

"Ikaw nga kasi ang lawyer na pinili ko," he replied, his grin widening. There was something about the way he said it that made me pause.

It wasn't just about his choice—it was the weight of it. It was the idea of being chosen, of being needed in a way that made all the confusion and chaos worth it.

I couldn't help but smile, even if I didn't want to. It felt good to be chosen. It felt good to matter.

At some point, that's what we all have in common— we crave to be chosen.

We crave to be chosen.

"Paulit-ulit ka, Attorney, ha?" he teased, his voice teasing yet sincere. "Gusto mo ulitin ko?"

Our eyes met, and for a brief moment, I thought I saw something raw in his expression. Something real. Something that wasn't just a joke or a game.

"Pinili kita, pinipili kita, at pipiliin kita, Attorney," he said passionately, his voice unwavering as he stared at me.

He grinned and gave me a finger heart, his humor lightening the mood.

"Okay," I replied, as I turned to head to my room, hoping the brief moment of connection would pass.

"You're leaving?" he asked, surprised. It was a tone I didn't expect to hear from him. Usually, he was so easygoing, but tonight felt different.

"Bukas," I said, as I began packing my things, the familiar motions offering some comfort.

"Bakit?"

I hesitated. "Malamang, magtitipid na ako kasi wala na akong pera," I replied, irritated. It wasn't that I was angry at him; it was just the situation. Life had a way of pushing me into corners, and no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I was always left picking up the pieces.

"Bakit?" he repeated, his voice a little more insistent.

"Are you—" I started, but I didn't finish my sentence because something unexpected happened.

I felt his warm touch, a gentle pressure on my back as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close.

Bakit niya ako niyakap?

The sudden embrace threw me off guard. I froze for a moment, my mind racing to make sense of what was happening.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his breath warm against my skin.

I didn't know what to say. My thoughts were scattered, and for a split second, I thought I might cry. The warmth of his touch stirred something deep inside me, and I fought to keep the tears at bay.

I remained silent, feeling the sudden warmth in my eyes.

Oh, I wanted to cry.

"I may not know what you've been through, pero always remember na this too shall pass."

His words hit harder than I anticipated. I turned to face him, unable to hold back anymore. The tears came, and before I knew it, I was sobbing into his chest.

His chest was firm, his arms strong around me, and despite everything, I felt safe. It was a strange feeling, but I didn't question it.

Parang ang sarap niyang yakapin.

While crying, I couldn't help but fantasize about hugging him, holding him close for just a little longer. Well, they say opportunity knocks only once.

I didn't hold back and hugged Dakarai tightly.

He hugged me back just as tightly, and for a moment, the world around us seemed to fade. All that mattered was the comfort of his arms and the feeling of being cared for, even if it was just for tonight.

I continued crying in his arms, unable to stop the flood of emotions that I had been holding inside for so long.

"I lost everything, Dakarai," I said after taking a sip of water, my voice breaking.

He didn't say anything, just held me close, offering a quiet kind of support.

I looked him in the eyes, trying to find something to hold onto. "The world that I once built— the empire I suffered for— is gone."

He reached for my hands, holding them with a tenderness that made my heart ache.

"It took me most of my life to chase, work, and build my dreams, but it only took a blink of an eye to destroy everything."

He sat beside me, gently caressing my back. His touch was soothing, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I allowed myself to feel comforted.

"I hear you," he whispered, and it felt like more than just words. It felt like he truly understood.

I didn't say anything more, I just continued crying, my body trembling with the weight of everything I had lost.

"I see you, Lanxie. I know that what you've been through is tough, but I'm proud of you."

The words cut through me, and I cried even harder. He didn't have to say it, but hearing him say that he was proud of me— it gave me something to hold onto.

"I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you for choosing to keep going even when life gave you countless reasons to stop. Mahirap, pero kinaya mo, kinakaya mo, at alam kong kakayanin mo. I'm proud of you for being brave. I'm proud of you; I'm so proud of you."

His words wrapped around me like a blanket, warming me in a way that nothing else could. In that moment, I didn't feel alone.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano na katagal ko bitbit ang bigat na ito. Para bang isang buong lifetime— isang walang katapusang stretch ng araw at gabi, kung saan ang tanging constant ay ang bigat na hindi ko matanggal.

And yet, here I am. Nakakatayo. Humihinga. Hindi totally broken. Siguro, hindi naman sa labas.

I guess that's all that matters in the end, right? The appearance of things. The facade. People look at me, and they see someone who's been through a lot, sure, but someone who's still moving. Someone who's still fighting. And that's enough for them.

Pero I know better. Alam ko kung paano pakiramdam na ang lahat ay gumuho sa ilalim ng iyong mga paa, na makita mong mawala ang foundation na pinaghirapan mong buuin— brick by brick— sa isang kisap mata.

It's a kind of pain that seeps into your bones, na mahirap pa nga alalahanin kung bakit ka nagsimula.

When you lose it all, when you realize that everything you thought was yours can be taken away, it's easy to lose yourself. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that nothing will ever be the same, that the world has turned its back on you, and that you're better off just giving up.

But sometimes, you just have to show up.

And maybe, just maybe, that's what I've been doing all this time. I've been showing up. Even when I didn't want to. Even when it felt easier to just disappear into the background and let everything else pass me by.

I've been showing up, even when I didn't know how to take the next step, even when it felt like the ground beneath me was crumbling away.

I've been showing up because, in the end, that's all I could do. And maybe that's what they call strength.

May mga panahon na iniisip kong huminto— about walking away from everything and everyone, shutting the door behind me and never looking back.

It seemed like the easy way out, the way to avoid all the hurt, the rejection, the failure that seemed to follow me like a shadow. Gusto ko sanang tumakas, bury my pain and pretend like it didn't exist. Pero may something inside me na hindi pumayag.

It's funny, isn't it? The way life has a way of testing you when you least expect it.

And it's not even the big moments that hurt the most. It's the small ones. The little things that pile up until they become mountains.

'Yung mga moments where you realize you've been holding on so tight to something that isn't even there anymore.

Yung moments where you realize that the life you thought you were building was nothing more than a fragile illusion.

Pero even then, in those small moments of clarity, when I could've fallen apart, I chose not to. And that's the part I'm proud of. Not that I haven't fallen. I have. I've stumbled, I've cried, I've wanted to give up.

Pero the fact that I kept going, even when everything around me was falling apart.

There's a kind of beauty in that, don't you think? In the act of choosing to keep going. There's a certain kind of courage in it— like stepping into the unknown without a map, without a guarantee of safety, just hoping that the next step will lead you somewhere better.

It's terrifying, but it's also freeing. It's a reminder that no matter how broken you feel, no matter how much you've lost, you still have the power to move forward. You still have the power to choose.

I've had to remind myself of that every single day.

Kinakailangan ko pa ring ipaalala sa sarili ko that I am not the sum of my failures. I am not defined by my past. I am not what happened to me— I am what I choose to become.

And sometimes, that's the only thing I can hold onto. The knowledge that I have a choice.

"You're brave," they say. "You're strong."

Madali lang para sa mga tao to say those things. Pero narealize ko that true bravery isn't about being fearless. It's about being scared as hell and still deciding to move anyway. True strength is about accepting your weaknesses, acknowledging your fears, and then walking right through them.

It's about continuing to show up when you don't have the answers, when the world feels heavy and unforgiving, and still choosing to keep going.

And that's what I've done. I've kept going. Even when it felt like I had nothing left. Even when it felt like I was losing everything that mattered to me. Pinili kong magpatuloy.

And that choice— that single act of pushing forward, even when everything inside me was telling me to stop— that's what has gotten me here.

"You're proud of me," I heard him say. "I'm proud of you for choosing to keep going."

Those words wrap around me like a blanket, soft and warm. And for the first time in a long time, I don't feel alone. I don't feel like I'm standing on the edge of the world, about to fall into the abyss. I feel seen. I feel understood.

I feel like maybe, just maybe, I'm not as broken as I thought I was.

I know I still have a long way to go. I know the road ahead isn't going to be easy. But for the first time, I believe I can make it. I believe I can survive this. And I believe, deep down, that I'll come out stronger on the other side.

Because, in the end, the only thing that matters is the choice to keep going.

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Author's Note:

To my dearest and precious reader, as you read this story, I wholeheartedly wish that you find comfort, solace, and healing in my words, hoping they will build a pure connection between us, my precious, dearest reader.

If you'd like to stay in touch with me or chat about my work, feel free to reach me directly at my crib via cribofharaya@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you. Hiraya manawari!