Knowledge is Expensive… and So Are Regrets

The moment we stepped into the more suspicious side of the market, I could already feel it in my bones—yup, scammer central. If sketchy alleyways had a scent, this place reeked of "you're about to lose all your Mora and possibly your dignity."

"Alright, so where's this Latish guy?" I asked, squinting at our surroundings like I was in a spy movie montage. "Sounds kinda gay."

Lumine sighed, hard. "Could you not open with that?"

"What? I mean, if the name fits!" I said, before we turned a corner and saw him—an absolute unit of a man, biceps the size of melons. "Oh. Never mind. What a buff guy for a... flamboyant name."

Greg flicked his tail. He was either agreeing or preparing to write a formal complaint to Celestia's HR.

The guy gave us a once-over before speaking. "Hello. What are you two looking to buy?"

Lumine stepped forward, cool as ever. "We want to buy some unripe Harra Fruits."

I held back a laugh. If that wasn't code for something illegal, I was Greg's emotional support animal.

Latish raised an eyebrow. "Heh, what a unique palate. We have unripe Harra Fruits, but we usually keep them in the back. I'll have someone escort you."

Paimon clapped her tiny hands. "Following the paper got us past the first round!"

"Raunak," Latish called out. "These two want to buy unripe Harra Fruits. Show them to the warehouse."

A slightly less intimidating guy stepped forward. "Got it. You two, please follow me."

"Warehouse," I muttered. "Why does every suspicious transaction happen in a warehouse?"

"Because basements are too obvious," Lumine deadpanned.

Greg squeaked. Translation: We're gonna die.

As we followed Raunak, he glanced over his shoulder. "You two have a fascinating fashion sense. We haven't seen a customer wearing a Sumeru Rose for quite some time."

Paimon's eyes widened. "Wait, hold on… 'Sumeru Rose' means… common merch?"

"No, look again," Lumine said, playing along like a pro. "We're obviously wearing Mourning Flowers."

Raunak tilted his head. "Ah, my mistake. I do apologize."

"Phew…" Paimon wiped her forehead. "That pop quiz sure was scary!"

"You should've seen me during actual exams," I muttered. "That was a horror show. I once tried to submit a blank paper as performance art."

Raunak gestured ahead. "The warehouse is just up here. Please follow me."

I whispered to Lumine as we walked. "Man, good thing we reviewed the paper. We didn't look like complete idiots for once."

"Keyword: complete," she replied.

Greg smacked my ankle with his tail. Betrayal.

Moments later, Raunak paused and turned to face us again.

"Before I retrieve your products, I need to confirm a few things."

"Like if we're wearing wires?" I asked.

"Please forgive me," Raunak continued smoothly, "but we may not have sufficient stock for you today. Earlier, many of our Harra Fruits were taken by mice."

Lumine didn't miss a beat. "Congratulations to you."

"Heh, thanks," Raunak chuckled. "If better goods come in, you'll be the first to know."

"You look like you have some skill," he added. "Why don't I pick out some fruits that'll make you dizzy?"

"Dizziness with a side of tinnitus, please," Lumine replied dryly.

Paimon floated back a bit. "That sounds like a terrible idea. Are we sure we're not just ordering poison?"

Greg made a noise somewhere between a whimper and a snort.

"This entire exchange feels like one of those social deduction games," I muttered. "Like we're pretending to be mafia dealers and everyone's just nodding along until someone pulls out the Uno reverse card of justice."

Raunak nodded. "Would you like your Harra Fruits packaged in the Sumeru City or Port Ormos style?"

"Port Ormos," Lumine said.

"Wow," he said. "You two are generous customers. We'll be sure to package your products beautifully."

I turned to Lumine again. "I don't know what Port Ormos packaging means, but I'm 73% sure it comes with bonus scamming."

"Better than being tased by the Matra," she shrugged.

Raunak gave us a nod. "Okay, everything has been confirmed. Miss Dori is waiting for you up a— Shoot, it's the Matra! Run!"

Paimon practically screamed. "What, the Matra!? Where?! Alhaitham said we're done for if they catch us — we gotta get outta here!"

I looked around dramatically. "Calm down! They're probably just here for a wellness check. Or to arrest us. One of the two!"

"I knew I should've worn my 'I'm innocent' t-shirt today!" I added, scrambling after Raunak.

Raunak took off like a pro sprinter, and Paimon didn't even hesitate.

"Let's follow that informant!"

"He ran that way!" she pointed.

"Yup, definitely leading us to the scammers—uhh, I mean, Dori," I said. "Classic breadcrumb trail. Let's go!"

Greg bolted ahead, ears twitching. Either he sensed a trap or he smelled snacks. Honestly, both were viable.

And so, scam-venture number 87 began. With a gremlin at the end of the road and our Mora slowly writing its will.

***

Ah yes, nothing like a leisurely jog through suspicious alleyways while potentially being hunted by the Matra. Honestly, I was just vibing at that point. My brain was like, "Should we be panicking?" and I said, "Nah, we got plot armor."

We were walking, not running. Chill as a breeze. Paimon kept glancing back like she was expecting to get tackled. Lumine? Calm as ever. Greg? Trotting beside us like a cat who knew he wasn't on the wanted list.

Then someone yelled out from behind a building: "Hey! If you're hiding from the Rishboland Tiger, come this way!"

Paimon gasped. "Another password! Oh, that voice came from behind the building on the right!"

"Yep," I added. "The gremlin is probably there. Let's go and get scammed."

No sarcasm. Pure acceptance.

We turned the corner and sure enough—there she was.

"Here, over here! You can stop running now," the tiny voice called.

There stood Dori, the infamous merchant of mystery. Pink hair, sparkles, tiny gremlin energy radiating off her like solar flares.

Paimon blinked. "So you were the one who was calling out to us just now. But uh, are we definitely gonna be safe here?"

Raunak dusted off his hands. "These two good customers wish to buy some Harra Fruit, Miss Dori, and if there's nothing else, I'll just excuse myself."

"Oh, very good. Thank you!"

Then the moment hit.

Paimon tilted her head. "Wait... You're Dori? Paimon sure thought you'd look a whole lot scarier..."

"Hey, whaddya trying to say, Princess Peabrain!?" Dori snapped, arms crossed and voice full gremlin. "I can be scary enough when I need to be, believe you me! If you don't watch what you say, then you can forget about doing any business."

I immediately liked her. Gremlin recognizes gremlin.

She shifted back into smug mode. "But it seems you two have actually done pretty well so far... Not only did you manage to find the informant, your reactions were also pretty sharp. You don't really look like criminals or anything, but I bet my Mora that you've been involved in some shady dealings, haven't you?"

"Uh, Paimon's not sure if that's supposed to be a compliment, but we'll take it," Paimon muttered.

I gave Dori a thumbs up. "We're morally flexible."

She grinned. "I can't risk doing business with people who start huffing and puffing after just a few paces — no matter how much Mora they might have. Not only will they get caught by the Matra, but they'll also get us into trouble. As decent folks trying to run an honest business, we don't need any of that. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yup, totally honest. We're just here for the... fruit." I said, winking so hard I pulled a facial muscle.

"That's why I prefer to have customers like you."

"Sane enough to follow shady leads, but not dumb enough to alert the guards," I whispered to Greg, who nodded like he was taking mental notes.

Dori pulled out her goods with the flourish of someone used to breaking five laws before breakfast. "It's your first time here, but don't worry, I won't ask too many questions. Even if you wish to buy enough Knowledge Capsules to decorate your house with, please — knock yourself out!"

"Can I buy one just to use as a keychain?" I asked.

"As long as you have lots of round, shiny Mora, then we're all good," she grinned.

"We've got Mora," Lumine said calmly. "Can you show us your products?"

"Ah yes, of course, of course! Go ahead, help yourselves — voila!"

Dori unveiled a stash that could probably power a small city. Capsules of all shapes and weirdly named contents.

Paimon whispered, "Wow, she has a trove of Canned Knowledge! Whew... she'd probably be in serious trouble if the Matra caught her with all this."

"They'd need five wheelbarrows just to carry the evidence," I added.

"What kind of products do you seek, my dear customers? Don't worry, I'm not interested in your reasons for buying — I can, however, offer some suggestions."

She held up a capsule like it was a golden apple.

"Take this one, for example... 'An Analysis of the Sociological Ideology and Dialectics of the Hilichurls.' Only three people in all of Teyvat have ever studied it, making it extremely rare! It's on sale now for 350,000 Mora!"

"That's... a very specific niche," Lumine said politely.

"Yeesh," Paimon whispered. "Who would wanna be an expert in that topic?"

"Hilichurl influencers, probably," I whispered.

"Or how about 'The Architectural Styles and Construction Methods of Teyvat in the Early Archon War Period'?"

Dori beamed. "With this one, you can become an expert in historic architecture preservation and find an excellent, well-paying job in nearly any nation!"

"Okay that one actually sounds kinda cool," I admitted.

"Two million Mora and it's yours. No discounts."

"Aaaaand never mind."

"Of course, you are free to pick whatever your hearts desire," Dori continued. "The contents and price of each Knowledge Capsule are indicated in small text on the body of each one, down at the bottom."

Paimon floated closer. "All right, let's try the method that Alhaitham mentioned."

Lumine activated her Elemental Sight. Her eyes glowed faintly.

I followed suit.

"I have achieved Enlightenment," I muttered, pretending I saw the meaning of life written on a capsule.

Greg gave me the side-eye.

Lumine pointed. "I'll take this one. And this one. As well as this one."

Dori clasped her hands. "Ahhh... You've really got a good head on your shoulders... and quite the eye for quality."

I held up one that looked suspiciously bright. "This one better not download malware into my brain."

Greg jumped into my bag and held onto the Mora pouch like he knew this was the beginning of our bankruptcy arc.

"You know, for someone who lives off shady deals, she's got surprisingly good packaging," I added.

Paimon floated over to Lumine. "At least we're getting the hang of this undercover thing."

"If we survive this, I'm opening a fruit stand," I said. "Specializing in emotional trauma and black market snacks."

And so, with our loot in hand, and a gremlin smiling like she just finessed a king, we took the next step in this wonderfully suspicious mission.

Plot armor? Engaged. Mora? Decreasing.

Greg? Still judging us all.

So here we were, smack in the middle of possibly the shadiest shopping trip of my life.

And I've bought snacks from a Hilichurl once.

We'd just finished our grand tour of Dori's "completely legit" black-market kiosk of knowledge, and I was at that beautiful stage of denial where my brain and Mora pouch had just stopped talking to each other. And let me tell you — when a tiny, overly cheerful pink-haired peddler offers you "limited-time deals," you either run or prepare your wallet for war crimes. I chose the third option: emotionally disassociate while Paimon negotiated with her sparkly soul.

Paimon clapped her tiny hands together. "We'll take these, please and thank you!"

Dori lit up like she just got promoted to Archon. "My, oh my, you are blessed with a taste for both the exquisite and the extravagant... Customers like you are a rare breed — one in a hundred... No, one in a thousand, even!"

Greg, on the side, flicked his tongue once.

Translation: You're getting scammed.

Dori leaned in with the energy of a street magician offering a "free" card trick. "Listen, I have a special offer for you two. If you spend just 100,000 Mora more, you can pick any Knowledge Capsule of your choice up to a value of one million Mora!"

Paimon's eyes did the anime sparkle thing. "Say what now!?"

"Did you hear that!?" she turned to us. "Spend another 100k and we get a capsule worth a whole million!"

Lumine crossed her arms. "Calm down, Paimon. Don't let her trick you into spending more."

Me? I was already doing mental math.

One million sounds expensive... but like, is it expensive enough? Maybe I'll get knowledge that'll make me a scholar or help me figure out how to flirt without dying of cringe. Priorities.

Paimon was bouncing. "But all the Canned Knowledge we just bought is easily worth half a million Mora. If we spend just a little more, we can get something worth one million Mora. Isn't that a fantastic deal?"

"It's the illusion of savings," I muttered. "The ancient technique of 'Buy more, cry later.'"

Paimon ignored me entirely. "Think about it! We've gone to all this trouble to get this Canned Knowledge, and so far everything we've bought belongs to Alhaitham."

"I'm thinking about it," I replied. "Unfortunately, my brain is buffering."

Paimon spun mid-air. "Aren't you even the least bit curious about how this whole Canned Knowledge thing works? We're talking instant knowledge here! Don't you wanna try it yourself?"

Lumine blinked at her. "I think you're the one who's curious."

Paimon clapped her hands again. "C'mon, c'mon! We still have around 100,000 of Alhaitham's Mora left, so let's put it to good use by finding something useful for you. You've got a deal, Dori! We'd like to spend an extra 100,000 Mora."

"Excellent," Dori grinned like she just unlocked the "Scam Combo x5" achievement. "Then please select from this fine collection of Canned Knowledge over here."

We turned. I squinted.

The capsules here looked... oddly shinier. Not in a good way. Like they'd been polished to distract you from the contents.

Paimon hesitated. "Uh, hold on a second. Paimon thought we could choose whatever we wanted? Why can't we choose the ones from over there?"

"Oh, but my dear customer," Dori cooed. "The Knowledge Capsules over here are worth one million Mora each. I'm sure discerning customers like yourselves will be able to find something to your liking. Please, take your time."

"Ah yes," I said, examining a capsule. "This one smells like bankruptcy."

Paimon frowned. "Uh-oh, Paimon has a bad feeling about this... Let's use Elemental Sight again to check these."

Lumine activated her Elemental Sight and immediately looked unimpressed.

"Maybe we should just pass this time..." she suggested.

"Why?" Paimon blinked.

"Let's just say for our mental health," I answered, patting Greg, who was now sprawled dramatically across my foot like a lizard king surveying his dumb adventurer peasants.

"Hey, we're getting a capsule worth a million Mora here. Don't be such a party pooper!"

I glanced at my wallet and then at Greg.

Greg blinked slowly, lizard-style: R.I.P. in advance.

Paimon hovered over to the choices. "Well, anyway, the Mora's already been spent, so let's at least try to find something useful."

She started reading labels. "Let Paimon take a look here... 'An Introduction to Traditional Sumeru Brewing Techniques,' 'The Art of Growing Spices,' 'An Overview of Ancient Runes'..."

"Oh! How about this one? 'Swordfighting Techniques VIII'!"

"Swordfighting volume eight?" I muttered. "Where are the other seven? Are they DLC?"

Paimon laughed. "Not sure where we'd ever find volumes one through seven, but at least this knowledge should be useful, right?"

Lumine gave her a shrug. "Fine by me."

"Dori, we'll take this one!"

Dori clapped her hands. "Alright, very good! I'm expecting some new goods in the next couple of days, so be sure to check back again soon! Whether it's Canned Knowledge or anything else you need — bring your Mora to Dori, and doors will open!"

I smirked. "That sounds suspiciously like a threat. I like it."

Greg gave her a slow, dignified lizard blink of approval.

And with that, the shady deal was done.

We left the alley with slightly heavier backpacks and significantly lighter wallets.

Was it a scam?

Absolutely.

Would I come back?

...Oh, you bet. Not just for the knowledge. Maybe even for a wedding ring.

Nilou's size is seven, just saying.

_____________________________

End of Chapter 92

Quests Completed:

* Successfully passed the password check using the shady fruit code.

* Located the mysteriously jacked merchant with an unfortunate name.

*Trusted Greg's instincts and went along with the deal anyway.

* Found and initiated shady conversation with Dori.

* Browsed a bunch of overpriced, questionably useful Knowledge Capsules.

* Used Elemental Sight to identify the brightest scam.

*Fell for Dori's "one-time-only" bonus offer. (Translation: Get scammed)

* Acquired "Swordfighting Techniques VIII" with absolutely no idea where Volumes I–VII are.

Rewards:

*+50 Street Smarts (Port Ormos Edition)

*+1 Harra Fruit Code Language Learned

*+5 Temporary trust from Raunak (expires in 24 hrs)

*+1 Greg's eyebrow raise (metaphorically speaking)

*+1x Voucher for Suspicious Business

* Canned Knowledge x3 (Legit? Eh.)

* "Gremlin Network" Contact Unlocked

*+1000 XP in Bluffing Skill

*+Greg's Concerned Side-Eye +1

*New Dialogue Unlock: "Princess Peabrain"

*+500,000 Illegal Mora Transactions Manual (Lite Version)

*+1 Knowledge Capsule: Swordfighting Techniques VIII

*Access to Dori's Premium Rip-Off Shelf

*Greg's Elite Customer Sniff of Mild Disappointment

*Future Discount on Illegal Jewelry (Limited Time Only)

*+-100,000 Mora (Thanks, Paimon)

*Unconfirmed Knowledge Skill Boost (???)