Transcended Identity For A Ruined World

I say. Prologue is... good. Chapter 1? I'm shookt. It's so long. 70ish pages. Made it hard for me to get through with it, to be honest. Once you get through the first 30ish page of chapter 1, it became clearer and cleaner. Pacing is so-so. And as I say on my comments on the chapter, the description or explanations of what's on the system can be varied. Doesn't have to give full explanations of it too. Hmm, and what else... hmm, oh, when writing dialogue, you can add physical actions of the characters to make it more effective. Show what they are feeling in every dialogue. Like brows lifting, his breathing hitched, hands trembling.. and so on. It has potential. But could use a re- construction to make it more engaging. The effort in creating the chapter is good! But could be written in more clear and concise writing. Well, it's just me though! As a reader. I've been honest here. I'm not a professional though! I just learned all this too as I write my novel. The journey of being a successful author is a hard and lonely battle. But you'll learn as you write! All in all, it wasn't so bad! I understand the chapter.. Han Jisoo you can do it!!! 👍👍