Chapter 8: I Mistook the Legendary Cauldron of 10,000 Fires for a Hot Pot and Now We’re All Being Chased by a Fire Spirit Named Kevin

After conquering his inner demons with dumplings, Lin Feng and his chaotic crew were deposited into a blazing chamber of molten stone, hanging platforms, and angry lava bubbles.

A massive cauldron—big enough to cook a dragon—hovered in the center, surrounded by ten thousand flickering spirit flames.

A voice boomed:

"Trial Two: Endure the flames, temper your spirit, awaken your true core!"

Lin Feng blinked. "Did it say 'core' or 'corn'? Because I brought corn."

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The Plan

"I've read about this," Lin Feng declared. "It's all metaphorical. To pass, we must cook something that represents our soul!"

Bai Xue, dragged into the trial as punishment for "witnessing too much nonsense," sighed. "It literally means temper your spirit body. Not cook lunch."

Lin Feng was already wearing a chef's headband made from a burnt scroll.

"Whiskers, get the celery of destiny! Duck, guard the pot!"

The duck quacked and karate-chopped a falling ember.

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The Problem

To give his soul dish "a kick," Lin Feng tossed in a red chili he found labeled:

"DO NOT USE. BANNED BY THE SPIRIT REALM."

Ten seconds later, the cauldron shuddered.

It turned red.

Then purple.

Then screamed.

WHO DARES SUMMON ME, KEVIN, THE LORD OF ALL FIRE ELEMENTALS?!

A pillar of flame burst forth. It had eyebrows made of lightning and flaming yoga pants.

Lin Feng dropped his ladle. "That's a weird spice."

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Chaos Ensues

Disciples watching the projection screamed. One fainted. Two took notes.

Kevin the Fire Lord began chasing Lin Feng around the platforms, hurling fireballs shaped like angry meatballs.

Lin Feng ran in circles, yelling, "WHY ARE YOU NAMED KEVIN?!"

Kevin roared, "IT WAS MY MOTHER'S FAVORITE NAME!"

Bai Xue used ice talismans. Mr. Whiskers was on Kevin's head, chewing his fiery hair like a snack.

The duck launched dumplings like cannonballs.

Somehow, it worked.

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Later…

Kevin was curled up like a campfire, sipping spirit tea Lin Feng made from cucumber peels and phoenix tears.

"I haven't been invited to a meal in 3,000 years," he sniffled. "You weird little mortal… have passed."

He disappeared in a puff of slightly spicy mist.

A glowing door opened.

Above it read:

"Trial Three: The Forbidden Banquet of Illusions."

Lin Feng turned to his companions. "Let's go before someone finds out I burned a fifth of the fire realm."

The duck saluted. Bai Xue groaned. Mr. Whiskers sneezed glitter.

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