Chapter 4 - Faces

**PROLOGUE**

[2013]

'Hello Elena, this is Fern, Fernando Boado Jr, your friend from high school. I'd like to invite you this February - we're having a batch 2003 reunion.'

I quickly closed my cellphone and turned my attention back to my laptop.

"Miss Estacio, where's that report I asked for? Let's hurry it up, no dawdling!" our manager exclaimed, causing me to hastily organize the freshly printed file on my table.

"It's right here ma'am, everything's prepared."

***

While holding a hot coffee from the vending machine in my left hand, I used my right hand to scroll down Fern's Facebook timeline through my laptop.

I paused when I saw one of his posts where he was with Zahara, who is holding a baby.

"So she has a child now," I muttered to myself while blowing on and sipping my coffee.

As I scrolled further through Fern's timeline, I noticed he had a clothing brand business that seemed to be quite popular.

"Miss Estacio, lunch break is over, what are you still doing here? Get back inside."

"Yes ma'am, I'm heading back now," I said as I quickly closed my laptop and hurriedly finished my coffee, even though it scalded my throat from the heat.

***

Through Fern's account, I also found Zahara and Kenley's accounts. Zahara's posts were all about her family, especially her adorable child. As for Kenley, I could see her posts were full of expensive bags, shoes, or trips abroad and yacht parties.

"Maybe he is not on social media."

It was late into the night, but my eyes were still fixed on the laptop as I tried to find someone in my high school classmates' friend lists.

***

[2002]

FACES

In thirty-one million seconds,

How many faces have been glimpsed?

How many faces have been passed by on the road?

How many faces have been spoken to but not remembered?

***

"Elena, I've noticed Zahara and her friends haven't been coming here lately?" grandmother asked, making me pause from chewing the biko she made for breakfast.

Almost a week had passed since that incident. And for almost a week now, Zahara hasn't been speaking to me. And as for Alejandro, he left with his family, but I knew he would return when school starts and they would move here permanently.

'Oh wait, there's one more.'

As for Fern, he's now in another province to start his arnis training.

"She's busy with studying, lola," I gestured, which she acknowledged with a nod.

"By the way apo, do you have anything to do later? Could I ask you again to get the coconuts I ordered from Mang Julian? I still need to go to the market to buy ingredients for the sopas I'm cooking later."

Without hesitation, I nodded in response.

"And don't forget to give the biko (Filipino sticky rice dessert) to your Aunt Zenaida."

***

Just as I was leaving the gate while holding a small bilao (woven tray) of biko, Zahara immediately closed her book and got up from their hammock, hurriedly going inside their house.

"Aunt Zenaida," I called out to her as she was busy watering her plants. With all her flowering plants like kalachuchi and santan, they were in full bloom this April and their yard looked really beautiful because of it.

Unlike the present where the house across is abandoned. The hammock is gone and only wild grass surrounds their house now.

"Oh Elena," she said as she turned off the hose she was holding.

"This is made by Lola Amanda, a biko Aunt Zenaida," I said while handing over the bilao.

"Thank you-- just wait here while I get the dried fish your Uncle Fernando brought from Bolinao. Just wait here a moment, dear," she instructed, which I acknowledged with a nod.

While waiting, I thought of sitting in their hammock but hesitated when I saw Zahara coming back.

"That's mine." I immediately lifted my head and without hesitation handed her the bookmark I picked up from under the hammock.

"Zahara," I called out to her when she was about to go back inside.

"Don't you want to talk about--"

"Talk about how you betrayed me?"

"Won't you at least listen to my explanation? I don't even like Alejandro--"

'And I'll stop myself from letting that happen.'

"That's enough," she responded, making me furrow my brows at her.

'How won't she misunderstand me if she won't even let me finish?’

Like last week, when I wanted to explain to her that she misheard my conversation with Alejandro.

*

"Zahara, just listen to me first," I tried to stop her but she forcefully removed my grip on her wrist.

"You know I like Alejandro, right? Like since we were seven years old I've been telling you about him?"

I quickly nodded. "Yes, and you just mis--"

"Then I hear that you like him too? Like you've only known him for two days, right? Out of all the people you could like, it had to be him?”

"Please Zahara, just listen to me first--"

"Hey, let's go girls! Barbecue's on me!" Fern called out from behind with Alejandro.

"I'm going home first, Fern!"

"What? Wait, didn't you hear? It's my treat!"

"You guys go ahead, feed it to your friends if you want, especially to Elena."

'I almost forgot how immature this friend of mine can be.'

"Zahara!" I called out but I couldn't stop her from leaving anymore.

'I didn't expect this would happen so soon.'

*

As I remember it, this was supposed to happen when school started. That was Christmas break because we fought over the bibingka (Filipino sticky rice) Alejandro gave me.

"Here dear," said Aunt Zenaida while handing me a bag of dried fish.

***

Thankfully, the sun's heat wasn't too harsh during these times. Since my bicycle broke down the last time I used it, I had no choice but to walk to Mang Julian's farm.

"Hello uncle," I greeted Uncle Gregor while adjusting my denim jumper which I wore over my white t-shirt.

"Oh Elena, going to Mang Julian again?" he asked with a smile, which I answered with a nod.

"Can I buy it for thirty pesos instead, Uncle Julian? After all, I bought quite a lot."

"Sure, Ma'am Leonor, anything for you."

I immediately smiled when I saw Caloy's mother.

"Aunt Leonor," I called out to her as she was about to get on her bicycle after tying the coconuts she bought to the back of her bike.

"Elena dear," she responded with a big smile. "I haven't seen you in a while. I told you to come back to the house so I could let you taste the new cake flavors I baked."

"I-I've been quite busy at home, auntie," I answered. "But next time, I'll try to visit."

"Anytime, you can visit the house." I immediately nodded at what she said.

***

"Zahara," I called out when I ran into her on the way home.

She immediately avoided my gaze and just walked past me.

"Why is she calling Zahara?"

"The question is, since when did they become close?"

The two girls with her asked one after another.

'If I remembered it correctly, I didn't talk to Zahara at school and for our classmates, it was a miracle if we ever spoke to each other. That's why during the celebration party last week, we were hesitant to talk and we made sure our classmates weren't looking before we'd interact. She had her group at school, but I preferred to be alone when on campus. I don't even know what we were thinking back then with Zahara when we kept secret that we were actually friends. Maybe, we just enjoyed playing with our classmates and teachers. They saw us as mortal enemies but the truth is she had been my close friend since childhood. But look now, in the end we really did become enemies.'

"Hey Zahara!" I called out and then grabbed her wrist.

'I don't care anymore what her friends might think.'

"What's your deal?" she whispered and then broke free from my grip. "That's Ina and the others, they're sure to gossip about us talking."

"Don't worry, they'll see this more as a fight than friends talking," I replied sarcastically.

"You know Elena, you're getting annoying."

"Why won't you listen to my explanation?"

"Because I don't need to hear it," she said. "It's clear to me. And it's also clear to me that Alejandro is more curious about you."

"What... what do you mean?" I asked in confusion while furrowing my brows at her.

"I heard Alejandro tell Fern that he's interested in getting to know you. Looks like he has a crush on you, congrats!"

'Despite my efforts to avoid it, he'll still end up liking me?'

"Zahara! You're taking so long, we might run out of slots at the arcade," said Ina, who I really wanted to throw my coconut at because of how she kept glaring at me.

***

I'm hanging out at the library now with my cheek on the table and covering myself with newspaper so the students studying here won't judge me.

I really like hanging out here because everything is quiet. Plus, I know Zahara won't hang out here knowing who she was with earlier.

I want to avoid seeing her for now. I'll probably need to gather my strength first before facing her.

'Right now, focus on the goal. I'm sure, I can still change everything...'

I was startled and opened my eyes when I heard someone sit in front of me.

"Oh come on, the library is so spacious, please go to another table," I said but when I got no response, I raised my head from the table with furrowed brows.

"Oh please..." But I immediately stopped when I saw who it was.

"Caloy?" I called out to him but he seemed not to hear me because of his headphones.

Instead of tapping him to get his attention, I chose to observe him out of curiosity.

'I mean, he's blind and can't see but why is he here in the library? Or maybe there are books here in braille? But libraries weren't that advanced back then.'

And because of my curiosity, I couldn't help myself and gently tapped his hand, causing him to remove his headphones.

"Hi," I said to him and at first didn't expect him to recognize me but I was surprised when he smiled and closed the book he was holding.

"Hi Elena."

Impressed, I smiled widely. "You recognized me? Like even though I just said hi?"

"And why wouldn't I?" He smiled, which made me unable to stop smiling too because one thing I really noticed about him since I met him was his contagious smiles.

"Just curious," I started and then held his hand and placed it on the book he was holding earlier. "How do you read this? Don't tell me you're just pranking me about being blind?"

He laughed and shook his head at what I said. "Mom has recorded the whole book for me, and that's what I'm listening to on my headphones."

'Oh that's why he's wearing headphones.'

"And what's the sense of holding the book?"

"Just because," he answered. "To feel more... or so... people won't stare at me here as much."

He leaned closer to me a bit and then whispered. "Because imagine if I'm just wearing these headphones with my eyes open, they might think I'm weird, right?"

I laughed when I realized his point.

"Silent please." Because of this, I immediately hid behind the newspaper I was holding earlier because apparently everyone was looking at us now.

"This isn't a restaurant or coffee shop, so quiet please," said the librarian.

We were quiet for a moment but later my attention returned to Caloy when he gently tapped the newspaper covering my face.

I slowly lowered it and laughed when I saw how close he was to me and ready to whisper again.

"Would you like some ice scramble? I know a good shop nearby." I immediately smiled and nodded in response.

***

"Here's for the two scrambles," he said, making me gently tap his hand before he could pay for the scramble.

"Hey, don't do that, it should be KKB."

"KKB?"

"(Kaniya-kaniyang Bayad) Each pays their own," I said and then handed five pesos to the vendor.

"Here's payment for mine, ate (older sister)."

"No Elena, it's fine, I was the one who invited--"

"I already paid for mine, you're too late," I said, which made him pout.

"Again, just curious." I started as I took a spoonful of scramble, which made me close my eyes as my brain freeze from it.

"How did you find places like this, the library and this shop? Didn't you just move here last last week?"

"Mom made me a map," he said while taking out a folded piece of paper.

It was indeed a map using the braille system to show directions.

'I must admit, his mom is really clever and he's so lucky to have a mother like Auntie Leonor.'

"You didn't know about this place?" he asked, but before answering, I laughed when I saw some powdered milk scattered on his cheek.

I quickly grabbed a tissue and wiped it off. "I don't really go out much. My routine is just school and home. But if I do go out, it's only to Zahara's house or Uncle Gregor's store."

"Really? Why's that?"

"I was obsessed with my grades and my future."

'Not knowing that no matter how much I immersed myself in studying, I still wouldn't feel the success I desired. In the present, I'm not even sure if I chose the right profession. In short, I'm not happy.'

"But you can't secure your future just because you graduated from school, right?" he asked, making me pause.

"Because you know, even if you have all the wealth in the world but you're not happy, I will not consider myself successful if that's the case."

I slowly smiled and nodded in agreement.

'He's right. But how? What should I do? How do you know when you're happy?'

"I'm done with mine, how about yours?" he said while turning over the plastic cup.

"Wait, just two more bites," I said while taking quick spoonfuls, which gave me brain freeze again.

'But you know, I wonder where Caloy was back then? Why didn't I know him before? This barangay (village) isn't that big that I wouldn't have at least seen him, but I really can't remember ever encountering him.'

"Lola," I greeted as I entered the house and hugged her.

Just before I could enter the house, I could already smell the sopas she cooked. A scent of comfort and love that I really miss.

"Before we eat apo, please deliver this sopas to your Aunt Zenaida first," she said, making me let out a deep sigh and nod.

'Here we go again.'

I was about to knock on Zahara's door but it opened first and out came Zahara running. She was so fast that she probably hadn't even noticed me.

"Get out, you animal!"

"Zenaida, I didn't mean to--"

"Fernando, we keep going through this. You always say you didn't mean to and you just had bad luck gambling. Fernando, where are we supposed to get that much money?"

I immediately stopped when I heard those shouts from inside the house.

'Looks like lola’s sopas came at the wrong time.'

I quickly backed away and was about to return home while still holding the sopas from grandma but I stopped when I saw Zahara some distance away.

"You've brought nothing good to this family, Fernando! You better leave if you don't want the neighbors to hear me lose it." I heard again from the house. From what I remember, because of Uncle Fernando's gambling addiction, they fell into debt and because of that...

'Aunt Zenaida will give up on life and leave Fern and Zahara.'

***

**EPILOGUE**

[1994]

Young Elena was walking alone when she stopped in front of the gate of the big house that she and her friends called the haunted house.

Her attention was immediately drawn to the young boy who had given her a bandaid the other day, who was now crouched on the ground hiding his face in his knees.

"Hey," said young Elena, causing the young boy to lift his face.

"Why are you crying?" asked young Elena when she saw the tears on the child's cheeks.

"Y-you're the girl who fell the other day, aren't you?" asked the boy who was now feeling around the ground for his cane.

Young Elena didn't think twice and immediately handed it to the child. "You know what, so you won't cry anymore, you can have my scramble." Elena said and then took young Caloy's hand to place a cup of scramble in it.

"This is my payment for your band aid from the other day."

"What's this?"

"Just eat it, it's delicious and perfect for this hot weather," Elena answered as she continued on her way home.

"Thank you!" exclaimed Caloy who gently felt the scramble he was holding and couldn't help but smile when he tasted it.

"Caloy, son, so this is where you are, come on, your sibling is waiting in the car. Let's hurry or we might be late for the airport."

Many days passed, and young Elena would often pass by the big house but she never saw the young boy again.

***

[2001]

And as the days and years passed, along with it came Elena's gradual forgetting of the memories this house held for her.

Not just the face of the young boy, but even their meetings became like dreams that were easy to forget.

"Run!" exclaimed Fern after they, along with Zahara and Elena, had thrown stones at the big house they called the haunted house.

***

May this little ARAPAAP be heard.

May his face remain, and be remembered

until we meet again.