Chapter 5 - The Allegory of Rain

**PROLOGUE**

[2003]

"How shameless, Elena. Are you really this desperate to become valedictorian? Will you really do anything? Isn't blackmailing Kenley enough, and now you're going to ruin both Fern and me too? Why are you doing this Elena? I can't remember ever doing anything wrong to you!"

"It's easy for you to judge me, Zahara, because you don't know what it feels like to have a mother pressuring you. After all, Aunt Zenaida isn't around anymore to pressure you..." I gradually fell silent mid-sentence when I realized how unreasonable and wrong the words coming out of my mouth were.

"You're right," she said while wiping her cheek where tears wouldn't stop flowing. "I don't have a mother pressuring me, but even though she's gone, she's still the reason why I'm doing this."

I didn't back down from her glaring eyes. I kept looking straight at her while holding myself back from weakening and hugging her.

"Let's just call it even, Elena, because the world won't stop just for your ambition. Everything won't adjust just for you. We all have our own reasons, so don't act like you're the only one with dreams here."

***

[2002]

THE ALLEGORY OF RAIN

Good day, old friend.

Have you come here to visit me?

It's been so long since I last saw you.

***

It's the last week of May, and in just one week, classes will begin. Because of the cold brought by the rain, I asked grandmother to make champorado for our breakfast. I've been requesting all sorts of things from her almost every day now. I'm making the most of it because I don't know when I'll return to reality or to the year I actually came from. Any moment now, it might be time's up and I'll have to go back to twenty-twenty three.

I'm carrying the still-warm champorado in a pot to bring to Aunt Zenaida's. It's been almost a month since Uncle Fernando's gambling debts came to light. And for almost a month now, Zahara and family haven't been able to locate him, so the debt collectors have been hounding aunt instead.

"Good morning, auntie," I greeted Aunt Zenaida, who was sitting dazed on their veranda.

She was staring at her wilted plants—I couldn't tell if they wilted because of the endless rain or because she had stopped tending to them. Her attention quickly turned to me as she tried to hide her true feelings behind a smile.

"Good morning, dear," she said while fixing her hair that was covering her pale face.

"Lola made champorado, auntie." She quickly stood up from her seat and was about to take the pot I was holding... "Let me bring it to your kitchen, auntie, it's still quite hot."

"Are you sure, dear?" she asked, to which I promptly nodded.

"Where's Zahara?" I asked when we reached their kitchen and I set down the pot of champorado on their dining table.

"She went to town to pick up Fern."

I was about to say goodbye to return home but hesitated when I saw her take out a bowl, seemingly planning to eat alone.

"Do you have an extra bowl auntie?" I asked with a smile, to which she slowly nodded.

It was somewhat awkward eating face-to-face, and it didn't help that it was just the two of us here now.

I wasn't used to starting conversations, but eventually, I decided to swallow my shyness and initiated the talk.

"How are you, auntie?"

'A question I never thought to ask before—not just to her but to everyone around me.'

There were many questions and wonderings about what my life would have been like if I hadn't been so selfish back then.

'What if I had done the same thing back then and asked how she was? What if I hadn't just seen myself but also the important people in my life? Would it change a thing? Would auntie still be alive, and even... Yannie? Or maybe, would my friendship with Zahara not have been ruined?'

She slowly smiled after taking a spoonful of champorado.

"I'm fine, dear. Why do you ask?"

'A lie.'

From her swollen eyes, her unkempt hair, and the clothes she'd been wearing for almost three days, she wasn't fine.

I quickly took a drink of water before looking at the window where the rain could be seen pouring again.

"Don't worry, auntie, this will pass, and your plants will surely bloom again," I said and then gave her a smile.

She smiled bitterly and nodded slowly. "I hope so, dear, I hope it stops."

***

Because of the rain that hadn't stopped even until noon, I was just lying on the sofa wrapped in a blanket and watching MYX on TV.

"Elena, it looks like Fern and Zahara are here. Perfect timing, call them over so they can join us for lunch," grandmother gestured, now blocking the TV I was watching.

Aunt Zenaida had left the two in our care because she said she needed to go to town for some bank business, so I had no choice but to face Zahara again, whom I hadn't spoken to for about a month.

When I reached their veranda, I hesitated to knock on their door, but it opened on its own and out came Fern, who immediately pulled me inside.

"Your sense of smell is really strong, huh? I brought longganisa and your favorite kalamay," he said, but my attention was on Zahara, who was still avoiding my gaze.

"By the way, twin, where's mama? I brought everything she asked me to buy, that's sure to earn me points so she'll let me play basketball tomorrow."

My forehead immediately creased as I turned my attention to Fern in confusion.

'Why does he seem unaware of what's happening to their family?'

"She just went to buy something in town," Zahara answered, giving me a meaningful look.

"O-okay," Fern muttered as he stood up from sitting on the floor while carrying his food gifts for their aunt.

"I'll just go to the kitchen, help yourself, Elena."

"He doesn't know?" I asked Zahara once Fern had left.

"It wouldn't help with his contest next week," she answered while focusing on putting away her twin's gifts.

'I understand. Fern is particularly close to their father. He would be terribly disappointed and it might just become a distraction for him... wait, does this mean he only found out everything after their mother was gone?'

"By the way, lola made tinola, she said you should eat there," I said breaking the silence, and Zahara just responded with a nod.

***

When late afternoon came, I quickly took out my bicycle since the rain had stopped and it didn't look like it would rain again as it was bright and the dark clouds were gone. While pedaling, I couldn't help but smile at the scent of petrichor from the recent rain.

"Move aside!" I suddenly stopped and slowly brought my bicycle to a halt.

"Don't you look where you're going? Are you blind?"

'R-raul?'

Startled, I got off my bicycle and turned around so he wouldn't see me.

'Wait...'

I froze when I realized who he was yelling at and who he had almost hit with his motorcycle.

"Damn it, you almost scratched my dad's motorcycle!"

"Hey!" I couldn't control myself anymore and dropped my bicycle to confront him.

"You really haven't changed at all, have you? You're still such a jerk!"

I burst out while grabbing Caloy's wrist and pulling him behind me.

"And who are you, lady?"

'He doesn't recognize me? Doesn't he know who I am at this point in time?'

*

"And what's a student council vice president doing in our hideout? Are you here to bust us, miss?"

Raul laughed while taking a drag from his cigarette.

I got even more irritated when his idiotic frat brothers joined in. "I need your help."

"Did I hear that right?" he asked sarcastically while looking at his frat brothers one by one.

"This lady needs our help?"

"Don't mess with me, I know how to punch guys," I said while covering my nose from the smoke of their nasty cigarettes.

*

'Right, we were in fourth year when I first encountered him.'

"Stop interfering."

"Elena, just leave him alone, let's just go," Caloy whispered, but I ignored him and stood my ground against Raul.

"I'll count to three, and if you're not gone from my sight, I won't think twice about screaming."

"Wow," he replied sarcastically while exaggeratedly covering his mouth. "That’s really scary!"

'I have no choice.'

A scream echoed through the street as I kicked him in his manhood.

"Elena, what's happening? What did you do?" Caloy asked repeatedly, but I just tightened my grip on his wrist in response.

"Are you crazy?" Raul shouted with wide eyes, seething with anger.

"I warned you, didn't I?" I answered without flinching, which made him glare at me with murderous eyes.

"You think I won't hit a girl?" he responded while straightening up, making me bite my lower lip and tighten my grip on Caloy's wrist even more.

"I'm sorry Caloy, don't let go of your cane," I said.

"W-what?" he asked in confusion, but before he could finish speaking, I quickly started running while pulling him along.

"Come back here, you girl!" Raul yelled, but thank God his manhood was injured so he couldn't chase after us anymore.

When that jerk was out of sight, I stopped running and, like Caloy, tried to catch my breath.

"What happened?" he asked, but instead of answering, I couldn't help but laugh.

'Is this what youth feels like? Running because you're being chased by an idiot? I've only seen scenes like this in movies.'

"Elena? Are you okay?" he asked in confusion while reaching out into the air to find where I was, which made me pause and sigh.

I gently placed my palms on both his cheeks and nodded.

"Too bad you couldn't see how that Raul cried when I kicked him in his private parts."

"What?" he asked in shock as I slowly nodded.

"What just happened? Is he gone? Didn't he follow us? He's sure to punch you for what you did."

"Don't worry, we're far from that idiot now," I answered while letting go of his cheeks.

"Changing the subject, what were you doing in the middle of the road?"

"I was supposed to..."

"Supposed to what?" He let out a deep sigh.

"I was going to visit you at your house using the map you made."

"You were going to..."

'What? He was going to visit me?'

"what? And why were you going to visit me? And besides, why didn't you just have your mom drive you?"

"I had a fight with my mom," he answered, making me freeze and furrow my brows.

'Him and his mom? That seems hard to imagine.'

***

"This is one of the best porridge I've ever tasted in my life," I said while squeezing calamansi into his porridge.

"Hey, garlic? Would you like me to add garlic to your porridge too?"

"I'm good with just calamansi and celery," he answered, making me nod.

"You know, of all the porridge places I've been to, nothing beats Uncle Gregor's porridge," I said and closed my eyes at my first taste of the porridge I hadn't eaten in almost twenty years.

Uncle Gregor only opens his porridge stall beside his store during rainy season, and it continues straight through until January.

"It really is delicious," said Caloy, who like me, had a smile so wide.

"So what did you and your mom fight about that made you run away?" I asked, but he quickly shook his head.

"I didn't run away, I just need to breathe to think things through, so I thought of visiting you."

"Next time just call me, okay? I'll pick you up instead of you getting into trouble like earlier."

He didn't answer and just sighed while turning his attention back to the porridge.

"What happened? Because based on your relationship with your mom, it's hard to imagine you two fighting." Again and again, he didn't answer, which made me sigh and slowly nod.

"I see, you don't need to tell me, and like you said, you need to breathe so I won't ask for details about your fight. Let's just enjoy this day since the rain that wouldn't let up for almost a week has finally stopped."

Now he slowly smiled and nodded.

***

"Here, I've wiped it," I said as I helped him sit down.

We're now in the park which is completely empty, probably because of the unpredictable rain - people are afraid to go out in case it suddenly returns.

"Actually," I began, taking out a cassette tape from my sling bag. "I was planning to visit your house to give you this."

It was perfect timing that I saw him on the road earlier. My intention really was to visit him at his house.

"Cassette tape?" he asked after feeling the tape I placed in his palm.

"I recorded a book, probably out of boredom."

He slowly smiled and quickly tucked the tape in his pocket.

"You said you wanted to know my favorite book, so I recorded it while reading. Hey, it took me almost a month to record that, and I didn't even know when your birthday was - I was planning to give it then."

"February nine is my birthday."

I gradually froze at his answer...

"Miss vice president, what are you doing here? I guess you're too excited—"

"Don't continue whatever we planned, Raul."

He slowly frowned but quickly smirked and walked towards me.

"Are you scared? Are you chickening out?" he asked repeatedly while holding both my arms.

"The plan is off, Raul, I won't even ask you to return the money that I gave you—"

"What do you think of me, huh? That it's just about the money?"

I suddenly stopped, looking at him with widening eyes.

"What do you mean?"

He smirked and let out a menacing laugh that sent chills down my spine.

"February nine, six in the evening, your orders were clear Elena, it's up to me now whether to continue this or not," he said while tightening his grip on my arms.

"F-february nine?"

"Yup," Caloy confirmed, which brought me back to reality and made me look at him again. "Thank you for this, I'll listen to it later."

***

I anxiously walked out of Caloy's street after dropping him off at his house. And until now I can't forget what happened on February nine. The possibility of it happening again can't be eliminated, especially now that I've faced Raul again.

'What if I avoid him... but you're stupid Elena, your face is surely marked in his memory now because of what you did earlier.'

Due to deep thinking and arguing with myself, I didn't notice that rain had started falling again.

'How annoying, I thought it wouldn't return.'

I smiled widely when I saw a nearby waiting shed, and quickly ran to take shelter there.

"If there wasn't any shelter, I would've cursed you, rain."

"Oh calm down, the rain might get angrier and pour harder.

"I gradually stopped when I heard that voice. And when I turned to look at the person next to me in the waiting shed, I confirmed it was him.

"Is it that easy for you to forget?" he continued while nodding towards the bicycle he was holding.

*

"Is it that easy for you to forget, Alejandro?" I immediately stepped back from the entrance when I heard that name.

"Seriously, I don't remember her anymore, man."

"Elena Estacio, our neighbor and your ex."

"Oh Elena, I remember now, sorry I'm just really forgetful."

'Me?... he doesn't remember me anymore?'

"Oh come on, I know your ending wasn't good but it's harsh that you completely erased her, man."

"It's better to bury those kinds of memories, they won't help us now and even in the future."

*

"I just found your bicycle on the road, you're lucky no one thought to take it home," he continued, which brought me back to reality and I quickly took my bicycle from him.

"H-how did you know this bicycle was mine?"

"Because that's what you used when you were hiding from me and Zahara after buying from the fields."

My forehead immediately wrinkled in confusion.

"I saw you that day but I didn't bother you because you seemed determined to hide from us.

"I slowly remembered what he was talking about. It was the day Zahara and the others invited me to go to town to show him around but I declined. And it was also the day I got hurt in front of Caloy's house because I was rushing to run away from them.

"By the way," he said again but my eyes were now focused on the rain that hadn't stopped and seemed like it would get stronger. "Sorry about what happened at the basketball court. Don't worry, I plan to visit Zahara after this to explain that she misunderstood my joke."

Silence prevailed between us for almost thirty minutes because no matter what he said earlier, I didn't bother to answer him, so he probably got tired and stopped talking on his own.

When the rain gradually subsided, I immediately stood up and prepared my bicycle.

"At school, can you not talk to me? If you can, just pretend like I don't exist," I said and then got on my bicycle.

"What..."

'Come on, this guy is really persistent.'

"wait, how did you know I'll be enrolling here next school year?

"I didn't look back at him anymore and just pedaled my bicycle away.

'Of all the people who could have seen my bicycle, why did it have to be him?'

***

I slowly parked my bicycle in front of the house but just as I was about to go inside, I froze completely when I heard a shout from the house across.

My heart immediately started pounding and I looked over with widening eyes.

"Ma!" A shout that gradually made my knees weak.

'This can't be... because if I remember it correctly, something's wrong with what's happening. In my memory, this isn't supposed to happen until next month.'

"Mama!" Another shout echoed, causing me to completely drop my bicycle and don't give a damn about the rain that started pouring again as I ran to the house across.

***

You have changed, my beloved rain.

The joy you brought when I was young has now become one of fear.

I cannot fathom the reason.

Why do I seem to fear your arrival now?

My only ARAPAAP is to feel the gentle rain's embrace, not its wrath.

***

**EPILOGUE**

"Where have you been, Caloy?"

His mother immediately greeted him as she lowered her glasses and put down her paint brush to approach her son who had just arrived.

"Don't worry ma, I won't fight anymore because I've made my decision," he said, causing his mother to raise her right eyebrow and stand up to approach him.

"And what's your decision, son?"

"I’ll go to America now, ma, for the eye operation."

His mother slowly smiled, unable to contain her happiness, and immediately hugged her son.

"I am really happy for you Caloy."

The young man let out a sigh and gently hugged his mother back.

"Oh it's raining again, perfect timing and I'll make you some hot chocolate. A perfect weather to drink that and to join me to paint, son."

"You're right..." the son answered with a smile as he broke away from the hug. "a perfect weather indeed, I'll just change upstairs, ma."