“Marriage Counseling in the Void (Also, the Phoenix Is on Fire)”

Volume 4: Heaven's Proposal: I Accidentally Got Engaged to an Angel and a Demon (At the Same Time)

Chapter 22 – "Marriage Counseling in the Void (Also, the Phoenix Is on Fire)"

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Kai stared at the phoenix chick now happily burning a hole through his coat.

"Why is it screaming at me?" he asked.

"It's imprinting," said Yui, flipping through a very melted-looking System Manual. "It thinks you're its 'mother-father-glitch-parent.' Congratulations."

The phoenix let out a squeaky, flaming chirp and tried to burrow into his chest.

Kai screamed. "It's melting my shirt!"

Malvexa snorted. "Let it. You look better without clothes anyway."

Elyssaria grabbed the chick and wrapped it in a shimmering towel of purified starlight. "You can't just roast him every time he tries to breathe, little one."

The phoenix cooed and burst into celebratory flames.

Yui nodded solemnly. "Its name is Blazey. And it's now officially bound to your soul contract. Along with your three wives."

Kai blinked. "Three?!"

That's when Caelith floated in from the void corridor, barefoot, timeless, and holding what looked suspiciously like a wedding cake made of antimatter.

"You forgot our post-engagement breakfast," she said sweetly. "I made pastries."

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The Marriage Counseling Office (Void Sector)

Located between dimensions and sponsored by the Inter-Planar Union of Deity Matrimony Experts, the "Marriage Counseling Chamber" looked like a mix between a temple, courtroom, and a dysfunctional therapist's basement.

Kai sat on one side of a circular glass table that floated over nothingness.

Across from him sat his three divine brides.

Elyssaria wore a power suit made of clouds and feathers, her halo hovering like a judgmental spotlight.

Malvexa lounged in a lava-leather chair, sipping wine from a skull and wearing a smirk that screamed 'I'll burn the couch down if this gets boring.'

Caelith levitated above her chair in a lotus pose, quietly weaving starlight into the shape of Kai's confused face.

And in the center, the counselor arrived.

A floating orb of light with reading glasses.

"Name?" the orb asked.

"Kai," he said.

The orb blinked. "Species?"

"…Complicated."

"Relationship status?"

"…Screwed?"

The orb beeped. "Acknowledged. Let us begin."

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Counseling Challenge 1: Trust

The orb pulsed. "Do you trust your partners?"

Kai opened his mouth—then hesitated.

He turned to Elyssaria.

"You saved me when I was a fugitive. But sometimes, I think you still see me as a project to fix."

She blinked, stunned. "I— I just don't want you to fall."

He turned to Malvexa.

"You'd kill gods to protect me. But sometimes, I think you're only in love with the part of me that breaks things."

She looked away. "I love your chaos because it matches mine. But… maybe I want more than that."

He looked to Caelith last.

"I barely remember you. But you said we were connected from before I was born. How can I trust something I don't understand?"

Caelith touched his hand gently. "Then let us build understanding… together."

The orb pulsed again.

"Level Up: Emotional Maturity +1."

Kai winced. "That hurts worse than leveling Strength."

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Counseling Challenge 2: Conflict Resolution

Malvexa immediately summoned a hellblade.

"I resolve conflict by slicing it in half."

Elyssaria summoned a glowing book. "I prefer dialogue, compromise, and celestial binding contracts."

Caelith simply blinked. The room shifted into a calm, moonlit meadow.

Yui popped in. "For the record, the most effective conflict resolution method is usually bribery or a shared near-death experience."

The orb glitched.

> System Error: Too Many Personality Variables. Recalibrating.

The table turned into a wrestling ring.

"Wait—what?" Kai yelped.

The orb boomed: "Solve your differences through combat cuddles!"

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Tag-Team Therapy Match

Elyssaria versus Malvexa, Round One.

Feathers versus flame.

Light versus lust.

They clashed midair, spinning in synchronized chaos.

Kai stood in the middle of the ring.

"Can we not turn this into Mortal Kombat: Marriage Edition?!"

But something strange happened.

Halfway through the fight… the two divine women started laughing.

Elyssaria pinned Malvexa—only for Malvexa to twist out and hug her mid-fall.

"You always did have good form," Malvexa whispered.

"And you always flirt mid-fight," Elyssaria replied, eyes softening.

Caelith floated down next and wrapped both of them in an orb of starlight, pulling Kai in too.

"We don't have to fight," she said. "We can evolve."

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The Orb's Verdict

"Counseling complete," the orb announced. "Results: Unresolved, but improving. Outcome: Poly-marriage approved… pending Kai's final acceptance."

Everyone turned to him.

Kai's eyes darted from one woman to the next.

He was a glitched mortal with a messed-up system and a history of poor life decisions.

But somehow… he didn't want to run anymore.

"I'm not perfect," he said. "I glitch. I screw up. I forget important memories and burn pancakes."

Blazey chirped in agreement.

"But I'm in this. All the way."

He held out his hands.

To Elyssaria's warmth.

To Malvexa's fire.

To Caelith's dream.

They took them.

Together.

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System Notification:

> Trinity Union Confirmed.

Warning: Reality Threads at 72% Stability. Proceed with Caution.

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Back at the Resort

The marriage counseling office vanished.

They returned to their private realm—a villa floating above a dimension of swirling magic and cherry blossoms that grew from broken time.

Blazey zoomed around setting things on fire in celebration.

Yui handed Kai a scroll marked "Honeymoon Side Quests."

He didn't even bother opening it.

Instead, he walked to the balcony, arms around Elyssaria, Malvexa, and Caelith.

"You know," he said, "this might be the best worst decision I've ever made."

Caelith kissed his cheek.

Elyssaria kissed his forehead.

Malvexa kissed his neck and whispered, "Wait until the wedding night."

Kai almost exploded on the spot.

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End of Chapter 22

📘 Up next: Chapter 23 – "Secret Wedding Night DLC: Why Are There Tentacles in the Cake?!"