"Secret Wedding Night DLC: Why Are There Tentacles in the Cake?!”

Volume 4: Heaven's Proposal: I Accidentally Got Engaged to an Angel and a Demon (At the Same Time)

Chapter 23 – "Secret Wedding Night DLC: Why Are There Tentacles in the Cake?!"

---

Kai had survived celestial engagements, demonic flirtations, and a counseling session in the void.

So when he walked into the wedding feast with his three divine brides and a baby phoenix perched on his shoulder, he naively believed things might… finally calm down.

They did not.

Because the wedding cake moved.

Malvexa stopped mid-stride. "Did your cake just growl?"

Yui blinked. "That's… not supposed to happen until the reception boss fight."

Elyssaria summoned her divine blade. "I knew we should've gone with the Holy Fruit Tart."

Caelith stared at the cake—towering, layered with obsidian cream and starlight icing—as it… squirmed.

Tentacles slithered from beneath the frosting.

One of them waved a tiny 'Just Married' flag.

Kai took a step back. "Is this… is this part of the wedding night questline?!"

The System pinged:

> Side Quest Unlocked: "Slay the Eldritch Wedding Crasher!"

Reward: Eternal Bedtime Snuggles (+3 to Relationship Stability)

Blazey chirped war cries and immediately dive-bombed the cake.

---

Battle in the Banquet Hall

The tentacled cake monster roared and threw truffles laced with psychic venom.

Malvexa leapt forward, twin daggers glowing with hellfire. "No one ruins our honeymoon carbs!"

Elyssaria took to the skies, slicing through frosting tentacles like holy lightning incarnate. "This is sacred dessert warfare!"

Caelith calmly hovered near the ceiling, hands weaving a lullaby spell woven from ancient star language. "It's a fragment of the Dream Maw. It must've slipped in during the proposal paradox."

Kai, wielding a flaming wedding spoon (Blazey-approved), charged with a war cry:

"Get out of my cake, you cosmic squid!!"

The monster screamed in sixty-seven unregistered languages.

Then it exploded into confetti.

And frosting.

Lots of frosting.

---

Honeymoon Begins

The hall was destroyed. The guests were mostly unconscious or drunk. Yui was handing out apology coupons.

Kai, somehow still standing (and now wearing half a tuxedo), was dragged by three goddesses toward the honeymoon suite.

Malvexa bit her lip. "No more interruptions, right?"

Elyssaria looked up. "The system is stable. For now."

Caelith smiled faintly. "Time will slow for us. The next few hours can last days. If we desire."

Kai blinked. "Is that how divine honeymoons work?"

Yui popped in, throwing a towel at him. "Don't forget to hydrate."

The suite door slammed shut behind them.

---

The Suite Beyond Reality

It wasn't a room—it was a floating paradise.

A massive bed carved from living clouds and obsidian roses. Stars danced overhead. The very air shimmered with passion spells and divine blessings.

Kai's heart pounded.

His brides stood before him, radiant, fierce, and real.

Elyssaria stepped forward first, cupping his face. "You chose us, Kai. And we choose you. Fully."

Malvexa ran her fingers down his chest. "No more battles tonight. Just pleasure… and maybe a little chaos."

Caelith kissed his temple. "This is not the end. Only the beginning."

Kai melted into their arms.

And the universe, mercifully, stopped trying to explode.

---

End of Chapter 23

📘 Up next: Chapter 24 – "Post-Honeymoon Apocalypse: Why Is the Moon Calling Me 'Daddy'?"