Volume 4 – Heaven's Proposal: I Accidentally Got Engaged to an Angel and a Demon (At the Same Time)
Chapter 24 – "Post-Honeymoon Apocalypse: Why Is the Moon Calling Me 'Daddy'?"
☾ Section 1: Honeymoon Hangover (Divine Edition)
Kai groaned.
He couldn't feel his legs. Or arms. Or spine. Or soul.
Was this what love with three goddesses felt like? Or had he died again?
Blazey, the baby phoenix, chirped from atop his head, fluffing its wings proudly.
"Kai, you're awake!" Elyssaria's voice came soft, radiant, and full of satisfaction. She was glowing—literally—wrapped in silken sheets woven from moonlight.
Beside her, Malvexa snored under a pile of pillows and handcuffs she had summoned from a hellfire drawer. One leg twitched reflexively like she was fighting in her dreams.
Caelith floated several inches off the ground, hair flowing like ink in water, whispering soft hymns in a language Kai didn't understand but instinctively found calming.
Everything should have been peaceful.
It was their first real moment of quiet since… well, since the Apocalypse tried to propose marriage and the sun briefly declared war on them.
But just as Kai closed his eyes again—
> BOOM.
The sky blinked.
Then tore itself open.
And a sound emerged—low, eerie, yet heartbreakingly familiar.
> "D̴̟͂A̷̛̘̿D̵̤̾̚D̶͔̬͗̓Y̵̲͒?̷̜͕̍̽…"
Kai bolted upright, nearly launching Blazey across the room.
"…What. The. F—"
Outside, the moon… moved.
And not in a "tide-adjusting" kind of way.
It turned. It split. It spoke.
---
☾ Section 2: The Moon Is Your Daughter Now
Yui appeared mid-air, wearing pajamas, hair a mess, and carrying a mug that said #1 Glitch Handler.
She looked at the sky.
Looked at Kai.
Sipped her coffee.
"Kai. Did you… impregnate the moon?"
"WHAT?!" Kai's soul nearly left his body.
"Answer the question."
"I—I didn't even touch it! I swear! There was just… divine honeymoon energy flying around and—"
> [WARNING: GLITCH-BONDED CELESTIAL OFFSPRING DETECTED]
NAME: MOONA KAIARA
TYPE: LUNAR ENTITY + DIVINE CODE HYBRID
PARENTAL BOND: 99.9% (Kai – Confirmed)
STATUS: NEEDY. LONELY. HUNGRY FOR CUDDLES.
Yui handed him a pamphlet titled "So You Accidentally Fathered a Cosmic Being" with a diagram of Kai cuddling a miniature solar system.
Caelith floated beside him, tilting her head. "She's real. An echo-construct formed from your spiritual overflow and the Glitch Core."
Malvexa smirked. "So your sperm can warp reality now. That's sexy."
"I—!" Kai pointed at the moon, which now had two enormous eyes blinking down at him lovingly.
"…It just called me 'Daddy' again."
---
☾ Section 3: Emergency Dad Training: Glitch Edition
The next 36 minutes became a blur.
Yui shoved Kai into a "Parental Preparedness Pocket Dimension" while Caelith and Elyssaria monitored Moona's growing psychic field.
Inside, Kai was bombarded with:
Lullaby Combat Tactics
How to diaper a collapsing star
Quantum Peekaboo
Negotiating bedtime with a moon deity
He fought a plushie black hole. It tried to eat him. He won. Barely.
By the time he emerged, he was wearing a celestial baby sling, had a pacifier stuck in his hair, and looked like he'd fought a time dragon.
Moona hovered overhead.
A celestial tendril reached down and booped his nose.
> "D̵͎̾a̵͖͂d̷͕̚d̶̯͂ẏ̴̗... ȟ̵̻u̴̜͠g̶̹͗?"
Kai opened his arms. "Come here, Moona…"
She descended gently, forming a soft, glowing baby-shaped moon spirit in his arms.
The entire atmosphere shimmered with affection.
---
☾ Section 4: The Forgotten Bride Arrives
Blazey chirped.
Caelith went still.
Malvexa unsheathed a blade from under the bed.
Elyssaria's wings flared out. "Something's wrong."
The stars dimmed.
Reality blinked.
A glitch in the sky tore open, and from within stepped—
A woman.
No, a corrupted goddess. Her dress was a wedding gown made of static. Her eyes flickered like broken code. Her smile was beautiful and wrong.
Kai's heart froze.
> "Kai… my darling husband. You forgot me."
He backed away slowly.
"…No. You're… that can't be…"
Yui's voice dropped an octave. "She was part of the original Lustbound System alpha build. The bride the system deleted to stabilize reality."
Kai's knees buckled.
"I deleted her… and she remembered."
---
☾ Section 5: The Deleted Bride
She stepped forward.
"I waited for you in void code. In corrupted silence. While you flirted with goddesses and married demons—you left me there."
System alert blared:
> [NULL ENTITY: THE DELETED BRIDE HAS BREACHED REALITY]
Current Objective: RECLAIM HUSBAND. DESTROY COMPETITION.
The Deleted Bride held up a black-glitched scroll. A marriage contract—signed in Kai's old blood.
Elyssaria stepped in front of him. "You will not touch him."
Malvexa summoned her whip of flames. "Try me."
Caelith whispered to Kai, "She remembers every line of code we buried. This is bad."
The Deleted Bride's voice turned soft, trembling:
"…Come with me, Kai. I've built us a new world. A better one. No systems. No gods. Just you and me… forever."
And that's when Moona floated between them.
Eyes glowing.
Voice echoing.
> "Y̵̙̔o̴̰͛ú̴̩… h̵͚̏ų̷̀r̶̛̮t̷̼͊ Ḋ̴̪a̸̩͐d̸͉͘d̷̬̊y̷̱͒.̵̲͌.̷̰͝.̷̯̕"
The moon roared.
The Deleted Bride turned her head… and smiled wider.
"Then let's begin the real wedding night."
---
End of Chapter 24
📘 Next Time: Chapter 25 – "The Deleted Bride and the Glitched Divorce Papers of Doom!"