After the Alpha Abandoned His Luna
I was supposed to be Alpha Damian's destined mate. But there I was, at the celebration just before he came of age, and he totally humiliated me in front of everyone.
The music was blasting. He was holding another she-wolf's hand when he announced, "It's my honor to tell you all that Seraphina will be my official chosen mate."
Everyone cheered. And me? I was standing in the shadows, my hand gripping tight around that Moonstone – the one that means power.
"See?" his Beta sneered right in my ear. "Only she-wolves from a noble bloodline can truly capture an Alpha's heart. Not a loser like you who's always messing with humans."
He'd forgotten, hadn't he? How three years ago, I saved his life. My right wrist got shredded by magic trying to protect him – it was almost completely ruined.
When the party was finally over, I stared right into his golden eyes, my voice ice cold. "Damian, your Alpha ceremony is in one month. And trust me, I'll have two very 'special gifts' ready for you then."
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, his eyes suddenly sharp.
"Oh, you'll find out," I said, already heading for the door. "I'm so over this damn fated bond."
This actually would have gotten a much better rating if not for the repeated chapters. I’d love to read it once it is actually completed. It needs a good editor and a good proofreader to fix all the small errors that led to the low rating. I really wanted to rate it higher since I see great potential but in this particular state it reads like it was written by a child who needs to more practice and skill. Writing is a craft and this appears written by a brand new apprentice. The story is interesting and pulls the reader in but at this point the author needs more skill to bring it up to the next level. I believe this story with some practice and an outside editing could easily rise to a level where this completed book could easily rise to #1 bestseller on all applicable Amazon lists on all Amazon platforms. I do both alpha and beta reading for several independent authors and review when released. There are issues that can easily be fixed for some and just need some experience for others. I enjoyed many other shorts on this site but this is the first that I could easily envision as a complete novel or even as a series. I hope this author takes the time to do the editing and expansion to make this shine.