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Tiffany Haddish: Kids Have Amnesty...SAY ....what!?
Snack Attack—Why Your Lunches Are Lame

Inspired by the TV show and the fearless humor of Tiffany Haddish. For more on Tiffany, visit tiffanyhaddish.com.

Amnesty Day—No Time-Outs, No Filters, No Mercy
What happens when you give kids a microphone, a free pass, and the promise that absolutely nothing they say will get them in trouble? You get the realest, funniest, and most brutally honest roast in history. From snack shaming to bedtime betrayals, kids from every walk of life are ready to spill the tea on grown-ups everywhere. Buckle up—no one is safe, and everyone is invited.

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Tiffany Haddish: Kids Have Amnesty....say ... what!?

Kids Tell the Ugly Truth

Chapter Seven: "Why Is Mommy Crying?"

Sometimes the biggest questions come from the smallest voices. Tonight, we're tackling a classic Cards Against Humanity prompt—one that's funny, honest, and just a little bit awkward: "Why is Mommy crying?" Four generations of kids, four totally different perspectives, and a whole lot of ugly truth. Will they play it by the rules, go full outlaw, or just make us laugh until we cry too? Let's find out.

Show Introduction

[The set features a giant tissue box, a "Feelings-O-Meter," and the spinning wheel. Tiffany enters with a box of tissues and a comforting smile.]

Tiffany Haddish:

"Welcome back to 'Kids Tell the Ugly Truth!' Tonight's Cards Against Humanity question—number 7 on our list—is one every family has faced: 'Why is Mommy crying?' We've got answers from toddlers to teens, and you know they're going to keep it real. Let's see how each generation handles it—government, humanity, cartel, Karen/Kevin, and of course, CAR Tell Me!"

Tonight's CAH Question:

"Why is Mommy crying?"

Toddler (3-4 years old):

Answer: "Because I spilled juice on her phone."

Government (CAE): "Say sorry and promise not to spill again."

Humanity (CAH): "Give her my favorite stuffed animal to make her feel better."

Cartel (CAR): "Hide the phone under the couch and hope she forgets."

Karen/Kevin: "Blame it on the dog. Or the cat. Or the goldfish."

CAR Tell Me: "Run and hide behind the curtains until she stops crying."

Middle Kid (5-9 years old):

Answer: "Because Dad forgot her birthday…again."

Government (CAE): "Make a family calendar so no one ever forgets."

Humanity (CAH): "Draw her a picture and write 'I love you, Mom!'"

Cartel (CAR): "Steal Dad's phone and text himself reminders every day."

Karen/Kevin: "Loudly announce at dinner, 'Dad forgot again!' and wait for the drama."

CAR Tell Me: "Bake her a cake with whatever's in the kitchen—even if it's just bread and jelly."

Preteen (10-12 years old):

Answer: "Because she got a bill in the mail and said, 'Why me?!'"

Government (CAE): "Make a budget chart and help her organize the bills."

Humanity (CAH): "Offer to do extra chores so she doesn't have to worry."

Cartel (CAR): "Hide the mail before she sees it. Problem solved."

Karen/Kevin: "Complain about why bills even exist and ask Alexa to 'cancel all bills.'"

CAR Tell Me: "Turn up the music and start a dance party to distract her."

Teenager (13-17 years old):

Answer: "Because I used all the WiFi and now she can't watch her shows."

Government (CAE): "Set up parental controls so everyone gets equal WiFi time."

Humanity (CAH): "Offer to watch her favorite show together—even if it's boring."

Cartel (CAR): "Hack the router to give myself extra bandwidth."

Karen/Kevin: "Complain loudly that 'the WiFi is never fast enough' for anyone."

CAR Tell Me: "Disappear to a friend's house until the internet comes back."

Wildcard Round

Tiffany:

"Wildcard! What's the silliest thing you've ever done to make someone stop crying?"

Toddler:

"Put spaghetti on my head and said, 'Look, I'm a noodle!'"

Middle Kid:

"Told my best joke: 'Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!'"

Preteen:

"Did the floss dance until everyone laughed—even Grandma."

Teenager:

"Sent my mom a meme of a cat wearing sunglasses. It worked."

Tiffany's Take

"There you have it, folks! Whether you're hiding the evidence, baking a bread-and-jelly cake, or just sending memes, every generation's got their own way of handling the ugly truth. And sometimes, the best medicine is a good laugh—and maybe a little less WiFi drama."

End-of-Episode Credit

Tiffany (on screen):

"Thanks for laughing (and maybe crying) with us on 'Kids Tell the Ugly Truth.' I'm Tiffany Haddish. For more laughs, wisdom, and family survival tips, visit tiffanyhaddish.com. See you next time—bring your tissues and your best jokes!"