Kids Tell the Ugly Truth

Kids Tell the Ugly Truth

Chapter Ten: "You Found a Secret Door—What's Inside and Who Does It Belong To?"

Preface

Secret doors aren't just about what you'd do—they're about the mystery of what's behind them and who owns that hidden space. Tonight's Cards Against Humanity-inspired question takes it up a notch: "You found a secret door in your house. What's inside, and who does it belong to?" From toddlers to teens, we're diving into the wildest, funniest, and most honest answers. Let's unlock the ugly truth!

Show Introduction

[The set is decorated with mysterious doors, keys, and a spinning wheel. Tiffany enters holding a giant old-fashioned key and a magnifying glass.]

Tiffany Haddish:

"Welcome back to 'Kids Tell the Ugly Truth!' Tonight's question is a twist on a classic: 'You found a secret door in your house. What's inside, and who does it belong to?' We asked our panel—from toddlers to teens—to give us their best answers and then spin the wheel to see how they'd handle it: government, humanity, cartel, Karen/Kevin, or CAR Tell Me style. Let's go exploring!"

Tonight's CAH Question:

"You found a secret door in your house. What's inside, and who does it belong to?"

Toddler (3-4 years old):

Answer: "Inside is a room full of puppies, and it belongs to my teddy bear."

Government (CAE): "Ask Mommy if I can play with the puppies."

Humanity (CAH): "Invite all my friends and their puppies to play."

Cartel (CAR): "Hide my toys there so no one else can find them."

Karen/Kevin: "Tell everyone the door is scary and nobody should go in."

CAR Tell Me: "Run away screaming 'Monster!' and hide under my bed."

Middle Kid (5-9 years old):

Answer: "Inside is a candy treasure chest, and it belongs to my big brother."

Government (CAE): "Make a map and tell my parents about the treasure."

Humanity (CAH): "Share the candy with my siblings."

Cartel (CAR): "Take all the candy and keep it secret."

Karen/Kevin: "Complain that the door should be locked for safety."

CAR Tell Me: "Sneak in at night and eat the candy without anyone knowing."

Preteen (10-12 years old):

Answer: "Inside is a portal to a video game world, and it belongs to my older cousin."

Government (CAE): "Tell my parents and promise to be careful."

Humanity (CAH): "Invite my friends to explore with me."

Cartel (CAR): "Use it to escape chores and homework."

Karen/Kevin: "Complain that it's unfair I can't live in a video game."

CAR Tell Me: "Go in, have fun, and never tell anyone."

Teenager (13-17 years old):

Answer: "Inside is a secret hangout with snacks and WiFi, and it belongs to me."

Government (CAE): "Use it responsibly and keep it clean."

Humanity (CAH): "Make it a chill zone for family and friends."

Cartel (CAR): "Turn it into my own private party spot and invite only my crew."

Karen/Kevin: "Complain that the door is in the worst spot in the house."

CAR Tell Me: "Lock it behind me and ghost the family for a while."

Wildcard Round

Tiffany:

"Wildcard! If you could create your own secret room, what would be inside, and who would it belong to?"

Toddler:

"A ball pit and slide, and it belongs to my stuffed animals."

Middle Kid:

"A candy dispenser and video games, and it belongs to my best friend and me."

Preteen:

"A mini movie theater with popcorn, and it belongs to my whole family."

Teenager:

"A soundproof room with snacks and WiFi, and it belongs to me and my friends."

Tiffany's Take

Tiffany:

"Y'all are dreaming big! Secret doors, candy treasure chests, and private hangouts—sounds like every house needs one. Whether it's your teddy bear's puppy room or your own WiFi hideout, the ugly truth is: sometimes the best adventures are right behind a door you didn't know existed."

End-of-Episode Credit

Tiffany (on screen):

"Thanks for unlocking the truth with us on 'Kids Tell the Ugly Truth.' I'm Tiffany Haddish. For more laughs, wisdom, and secret room ideas, visit tiffanyhaddish.com. See you next time—keep your eyes peeled for secret doors!"