Kids Tell the Ugly Truth
Kids Tell the Ugly Truth
Chapter Fourteen: "What's the Biggest Lie You've Ever Told?"
Preface
Everyone tells a little white lie now and then—but what about the biggest one you've ever told? Tonight's Cards Against Humanity-inspired question dives deep into the fibbing world of kids and teens. From toddlers who deny cookie crumbs on their face to teenagers who swear they "studied" all night, we're uncovering the ugly truth behind those tall tales. And because every lie has consequences, we're adding a "What Would You Do?" scenario to see how each generation handles the truth when it comes knocking.
Show Introduction
[The set features a giant "Lie Detector" prop, a spinning wheel, and a "Truth-O-Meter." Tiffany enters holding a magnifying glass and a notebook.]
Tiffany Haddish:
"Welcome back to 'Kids Tell the Ugly Truth!' Tonight's question is a classic: 'What's the biggest lie you've ever told?' We've got confessions from toddlers to teens, and you know they're gonna be honest… or at least creative. Plus, we're throwing in a 'What Would You Do?' scenario to see how they'd handle the fallout when the truth comes out. Let's get to the bottom of it!"
Tonight's CAH Question:
"What's the biggest lie you've ever told?"
Toddler (3-4 years old):
Statement: "I said I didn't eat the cookie, but I had chocolate all over my face."
Government (CAE): "Say sorry and promise to share next time."
Humanity (CAH): "Give the cookie to my friend to make up for it."
Cartel (CAR): "Blame the dog for the missing cookie."
Karen/Kevin: "Say, 'I didn't do it!' really loud."
CAR Tell Me: "Run and hide behind Mommy."
What Would You Do?
You got caught lying about something small. What do you do?
Toddler: "Say sorry and give a big hug."
Middle Kid (5-9 years old):
Statement: "I told my teacher I did my homework, but I forgot it at home."
Government (CAE): "Bring it the next day and apologize."
Humanity (CAH): "Ask for help to finish it."
Cartel (CAR): "Make up a story about the dog eating it."
Karen/Kevin: "Say, 'I was sick!' even if I wasn't."
CAR Tell Me: "Pretend I forgot and hope the teacher forgets too."
What Would You Do?
You lied about homework. How do you fix it?
Middle Kid: "Tell the truth and ask for extra time."
Preteen (10-12 years old):
Statement: "I told my parents I was at a friend's house, but I was actually at the mall."
Government (CAE): "Come clean and accept the consequences."
Humanity (CAH): "Explain why I lied and promise to be honest."
Cartel (CAR): "Keep lying until I get caught."
Karen/Kevin: "Say, 'Everyone lies sometimes!' and shrug."
CAR Tell Me: "Avoid my parents until they forget."
What Would You Do?
You lied about where you were. What now?
Preteen: "Tell the truth and apologize."
Teenager (13-17 years old):
Statement: "I told my crush I was into hiking, but I hate it."
Government (CAE): "Be honest and find other things in common."
Humanity (CAH): "Laugh about it and admit I was trying to impress."
Cartel (CAR): "Keep pretending until I get invited on a hike."
Karen/Kevin: "Say, 'It's not a lie, it's a 'creative truth.''"
CAR Tell Me: "Ghost the crush and avoid awkwardness."
What Would You Do?
You lied to impress someone. How do you handle it?
Teenager: "Come clean and hope they still like me."
Wildcard Round
Tiffany:
"Wildcard! What's the funniest lie you've ever told that nobody believed?"
Toddler:
"I said the teddy bear ate my snack."
Middle Kid:
"I told my sister I was an alien from Mars."
Preteen:
"I said I was a ninja to scare my little brother."
Teenager:
"I claimed I was 'too cool' for homework."
Tiffany's Take
Tiffany:
"Y'all, lies can be slippery, but the ugly truth is: honesty is the best policy—most of the time. And if you gotta fib, make it funny and be ready to apologize. Because at the end of the day, the truth always finds a way out."
End-of-Episode Credit
Tiffany (on screen):
"Thanks for coming clean with us on 'Kids Tell the Ugly Truth.' I'm Tiffany Haddish. For more laughs, wisdom, and fibbing tips, visit tiffanyhaddish.com. See you next time—keep it honest, y'all!"