Kids Tell the Ugly Truth
Kids Tell the Ugly Truth
Chapter Fifteen: "What's the Weirdest Thing You've Ever Done When No One Was Watching?"
Preface
We all have those moments—things we do when we think nobody's looking. Sometimes they're silly, sometimes they're strange, and sometimes they're downright hilarious. Tonight's Cards Against Humanity-inspired question is: "What's the weirdest thing you've ever done when no one was watching?" From toddlers to teens, we're uncovering those secret moments of weirdness. And because weirdness can lead to sticky situations, we're adding a "What Would You Do?" scenario to see how each generation would handle if someone did catch them.
Show Introduction
[The set features a giant pair of eyes peeking through curtains, a "Secret Meter," and the spinning wheel. Tiffany enters wearing a detective hat and holding a magnifying glass.]
Tiffany Haddish:
"Welcome back to 'Kids Tell the Ugly Truth!' Tonight's question is all about those secret moments: 'What's the weirdest thing you've ever done when no one was watching?' We've got answers from toddlers to teens, and trust me, they're going to be honest—and hilarious. Plus, we're throwing in a 'What Would You Do?' scenario to see how they'd handle getting caught. Let's get sneaky!"
Tonight's CAH Question:
"What's the weirdest thing you've ever done when no one was watching?"
Toddler (3-4 years old):
Statement: "I danced like a crazy monkey in the living room."
Government (CAE): "Ask Mommy if I can dance anytime."
Humanity (CAH): "Invite everyone to dance with me."
Cartel (CAR): "Dance even crazier when no one's watching."
Karen/Kevin: "Say, 'I wasn't dancing, I was stretching!'"
CAR Tell Me: "Freeze when someone walks in and say, 'I'm just standing here.'"
What Would You Do?
You're caught dancing silly when you thought no one was watching. What do you do?
Toddler: "Smile big and say, 'Dance party!'"
Middle Kid (5-9 years old):
Statement: "I talked to my stuffed animals like they were real friends."
Government (CAE): "Promise to be quiet when others are around."
Humanity (CAH): "Introduce my stuffed animals to my friends."
Cartel (CAR): "Make up secret stories about them."
Karen/Kevin: "Say, 'It's not weird, it's imagination!'"
CAR Tell Me: "Pretend I was reading a book when caught."
What Would You Do?
Someone walks in while you're talking to your toys. How do you react?
Middle Kid: "Say, 'They're my best friends!' and keep going."
Preteen (10-12 years old):
Statement: "I sang really loud in the shower like I was a rock star."
Government (CAE): "Keep the volume down when others are home."
Humanity (CAH): "Invite family to join my concert."
Cartel (CAR): "Sing even louder when no one's around."
Karen/Kevin: "Say, 'I was just practicing for the school show!'"
CAR Tell Me: "Stop singing and pretend I was just thinking."
What Would You Do?
You get caught belting out your favorite song. What now?
Preteen: "Laugh it off and invite them to sing along."
Teenager (13-17 years old):
Statement: "I practiced my dance moves in my room… and tripped over everything."
Government (CAE): "Be more careful and practice in a safe space."
Humanity (CAH): "Ask friends to join my dance practice."
Cartel (CAR): "Keep practicing even if I look ridiculous."
Karen/Kevin: "Say, 'I'm just warming up for the party!'"
CAR Tell Me: "Pretend I was looking for something and walk away."
What Would You Do?
Someone catches you goofing off alone. How do you handle it?
Teenager: "Own it and say, 'You should try it—it's fun!'"
Wildcard Round
Tiffany:
"Wildcard! What's the funniest thing you've done when you thought no one was watching?"
Toddler:
"I tried to put my shoes on the wrong feet."
Middle Kid:
"Imade a funny face in the mirror and laughed for five minutes."
Preteen:
"Idanced with the vacuum cleaner like it was my partner."
Teenager:
"Ipracticed my 'cool walk' and almost fell down the stairs."
Tiffany's Take
Tiffany:
"Y'all, the ugly truth is—we all get weird when no one's watching. And sometimes, that's when the best fun happens! So next time you catch yourself acting silly, just remember: embrace it, own it, and maybe invite a friend to join the party."
End-of-Episode Credit
Tiffany (on screen):
"Thanks for sneaking a peek at the truth with us on 'Kids Tell the Ugly Truth.' I'm Tiffany Haddish. For more laughs, wisdom, and secret dance moves, visit tiffanyhaddish.com. See you next time—keep it weird!"