Kids Tell the Ugly Truth
Kids Tell the Ugly Truth
Chapter Sixteen: "What's the Most Awkward Thing You've Ever Said to a Crush?"
Preface
Ah, crushes—the ultimate source of butterflies, blushing, and sometimes, epic awkwardness. Tonight's Cards Against Humanity-inspired question is: "What's the most awkward thing you've ever said to a crush?" From toddlers who don't quite get it yet to teens who've mastered the art of awkward flirting, we're diving into those cringe-worthy moments that make us laugh and cringe at the same time. And because awkward moments can lead to tricky situations, we'll add a "What Would You Do?" scenario to see how each generation would handle the aftermath.
Show Introduction
[The set features giant hearts, a "Blush Meter," and the spinning wheel. Tiffany enters holding a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates.]
Tiffany Haddish:
"Welcome back to 'Kids Tell the Ugly Truth!' Tonight's question is all about those cringe-worthy crush moments: 'What's the most awkward thing you've ever said to a crush?' We've got stories from toddlers to teens, and trust me, they're real and hilarious. Plus, we're throwing in a 'What Would You Do?' scenario to see how they'd recover from the cringe. Let's get blushing!"
Tonight's CAH Question:
"What's the most awkward thing you've ever said to a crush?"
Toddler (3-4 years old):
Statement: "I told my friend 'I like your shoes' but I meant their hat."
Government (CAE): "Say sorry and try to say the right thing next time."
Humanity (CAH): "Give them a hug to make up for it."
Cartel (CAR): "Say it again but louder so they hear."
Karen/Kevin: "Blame it on my tongue being too big."
CAR Tell Me: "Run away and hide behind Mommy."
What Would You Do?
You say something wrong to your crush. How do you fix it?
Toddler: "Say 'Oops!' and give a big smile."
Middle Kid (5-9 years old):
Statement: "I told my crush 'You're my best friend' and then said 'I love you' by accident."
Government (CAE): "Explain what I meant and be honest."
Humanity (CAH): "Give them a friendship bracelet."
Cartel (CAR): "Say it again and hope they like it."
Karen/Kevin: "Say, 'I was just joking!' and laugh it off."
CAR Tell Me: "Hide until they forget."
What Would You Do?
You accidentally say "I love you" too soon. What now?
Middle Kid: "Say I like them as a friend and be honest."
Preteen (10-12 years old):
Statement: "I told my crush 'You're so funny' but I tripped right after."
Government (CAE): "Laugh it off and keep talking."
Humanity (CAH): "Make a joke about my clumsiness."
Cartel (CAR): "Pretend it was part of my plan to get attention."
Karen/Kevin: "Say, 'I meant to do that!' and wink."
CAR Tell Me: "Avoid eye contact and hope they don't remember."
What Would You Do?
You trip while talking to your crush. How do you recover?
Preteen: "Laugh and say, 'I'm just testing gravity!'"
Teenager (13-17 years old):
Statement: "I accidentally called my crush by my sibling's name."
Government (CAE): "Apologize and explain it was a slip."
Humanity (CAH): "Make a funny meme about it and share it."
Cartel (CAR): "Pretend it was a nickname and run with it."
Karen/Kevin: "Say, 'You're just as annoying as my sibling!' and hope they laugh."
CAR Tell Me: "Ghost them for a day and then text an apology."
What Would You Do?
You call your crush by the wrong name. What now?
Teenager: "Laugh it off and send a funny apology text."
Wildcard Round
Tiffany:
"Wildcard! What's the funniest thing you've ever done to impress a crush?"
Toddler:
"I gave them my favorite toy and said, 'It's yours now!'"
Middle Kid:
"I drew a picture of us as superheroes."
Preteen:
"I learned a dance just to show off."
Teenager:
"I wrote a poem and read it out loud (and almost cried)."
Tiffany's Take
Tiffany:
"Y'all, crushes are messy, awkward, and sometimes downright hilarious. The ugly truth is, everyone's been there, and the best way out is to laugh, be yourself, and maybe keep a backup joke handy. Because if you can't laugh at yourself, who can?"
End-of-Episode Credit
Tiffany (on screen):
"Thanks for blushing and laughing with us on 'Kids Tell the Ugly Truth.' I'm Tiffany Haddish. For more laughs, wisdom, and crush survival tips, visit tiffanyhaddish.com. See you next time—keep it real and keep it funny!"