Epiphany of the Weak

Reveal Spoiler

I don't usually like the first person in a novel. But it's really well written here, and the fact that we see this horrible world in the eyes of a child that is almost as lost as us is interesting. It adds a level of violence to the story that wouldn't be the same otherwise. Thanks for the read, I'll continue it on my free time !

The grammar isn't top-notch but decent (= better than 75% of novels on here). I don't really like minor protagonists though. Following the story of a 10 year old girl is just weird for me and mostly only japanese authors ever write stories like these. I also don't enjoy female protagonists as I am a man and can't immerse with the female characters as much. I also don't like stories in the form of an inner monologue meaning present-tense 'I' form. Your writing is decent, but not my taste at all. keep at it. there surely are people who enjoy it.

I like reading sci-fi stories and this is turning out to be one of the best novels out there in this app I so will enjoy reading this story I love the characters and hate the villains lol bomb it’s great 👍 😆😆😆😆

The writing quality has greatly improved from what it was originally, Jeep has done a great job with this story! I'm constantly getting suprised by what happens next (of course, most of my predictions were posted in the discord so isn't too hard). There isn't a pattern that the plot takes, and while we generally only see from Ava's perspective, the world moves and changes behind the scenes. As for the power system, think Nen from Hunter x Hunter mixed with kagune from Tokyo Ghoul. Every user has certain abilities, but only one unique specialty, leading to wildly varying power sets. If I had one sentence to describe what it feels like, I'd say "infinitly close to Jojo's." The world development is slow but has a ****** starting point, and the complexities of the world in it develop alongside the story. My favorite character is probably Ava at the start of volume 2.

End of volume one... wow. wow. wow. poor little child. nice story jeep. a ***** little girl as the mc, too innocent, too gullible and too hopeful. Wonders how she will grow after all of this... stuff happening.

Here is my review. GOOD The story is a really good one and has originality to it. The opening was really great and the twist at chapter 10 came out of nowhere(at least to me) as I did not expect that to happen. It's a really good story as I wanted to read more and to know what is Aegis and also about the world. The fights are also good. BAD First off please use Grammarly or ProWritingAid as there are a lot of mistakes. It really takes you away from the story and also try to use (") instead of (') as it feels weird when she says the dialogues out loud. Also, the start was confusing as it made no sense for them to rescue her as she is their enemy and also take pity on her to take her back to their base for treatment. They are in war and are enemies so why was she the only one they felt pity for? I highly recommend you to use the two sites I mentioned before as the grammar and word mistakes really reduce the quality of the story.

Reveal Spoiler

I've only read until chap 6 and skimmed to chap 21. So if my complaint is addressed in a later chap, please dismiss it. Originality - 4/5 MC is a living weapon, and the power seems a mix of Tokyo Ghoul and Prototype. Not the most original. But still, it's different from most of the novel here. Story - 2/5 Honestly I'm not impressed by the MC's motivation of finding her parents. Probably because she has so little personality, and there's too few interactions between her and her parents to make me care. Characters - 3/5 Up to chap 6. Haven't seen any character with a distinctive personality. They seems to mostly be stereotypes with 1 or 2 main traits. Presentation: 2/5 * There are errors with spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. Not enough to make it unreadable, but enough to confuse people sometimes. The dialogue was stilted and unnatural. * Description of locations is rather lacking and confusing. Also sometimes it doesn't seem to be seen from the point of view of a child. For example, this is from chap 1. - "The base had a cube-like design with smaller box rooms branched out neatly alongside." How does she know the base' layout is "cube-like," if she just sees it from one side? And what does "cube-like" design for a base mean? * The action scenes are choppy and rather poorly written. Despite the first-person POV, you have the tendency to summarize the actions instead of describing what the MC sees, hears, feels to make readers experience the action. Occasionally, it seems like a paragraph is lacking one or two sentences. Example from chap 3: "Bullets whizzed through the air and went through my right arm clean. My scream alerted the other soldiers." - Did she actually see the bullets? Just write something like "There were deafening gunshots and I felt something crashing into my right arm," or something like that. The way you write makes the MC seem detached from reality. - Between these two sentences there SHOULD be something like "Pain shot through me like a knife. A scream escaped my lips." etc. Why do you skip the scream, or the pain? - Confusingly, several sentences later, she said "That was when a sharp pain sent my mind spinning." So did the bullet not hurt? Then why did she scream earlier?

I have read this until chapter 7. So far so good. The writing is easy to understand, the story is very interesting. I was hook from chapter 1. The idea is great too, a human weapon who is quite *****, well she is just a kid. Those around her seems to hate her a lot, not really sure why, but probably because they don’t see her as a human. Human’s greed is beautiful after all. Keep up the good work.

Don't remember the last time I have 5 stars for all areas! I like it, at first it reminded of Tokyo Ghoul which is fresh - a setting and set of abilities I haven't read in novels yet. One idea? Maybe chapter 2 can come first as an action "hook". Then chapter 1 as a flashback once the read is hooked, to provide context. The story is great! Maybe just need to draw people to click in and continue reading such a good story!

It's a dark story with a good plot progression, I liked descriptions author used to flesh out the characters, but I wish he could take it slow with some pace too many characters are introduced very early on, so you could not build a sort of rapport with them and the air of ******* that should there in dark story is not build up properly, maybe that is because it is early chapters, he might have improved later on, but I like the story, plot progression, ava and hope (I like him so much!)

A good story with a dark undertone, it's a great story but not quite my style, if you enjoy rebellions, blood, and dark undertones, the this is definitely for you.

This novel in my opinion is really good. I really like the twists in the story and the emotions that come with them, I really recommend people to read and try it out.